Parental books for dad - desi dads

[Bobby1]

Re: Parental books for dad - desi dads

@rabia3983

Hello all,

so i am having a hard time teaching my husband about basic rules to follow when disciplining our 5 year old. My husband expects a lot from him and thinks our son is the only one who is very stubborn, disobedient and hardheaded. I have tired to tell him that he isn’t. But hubby is stuck on over disciplining him.
For an example: my husband was mopping up something (i was giving a bath to our 5 month old,) and my 5 year old asked if he can mop. As usual, my husband said no to him. My 5 year old ran to me and asked if he can mop. I said no, since Abu had already said no. This of course made my son very upset and he started to cry and got in trouble Later i asked my husband why he had said no him, all he wanted to do is mop. My husband’s response was, " we shouldn’t allow him everything he ask for." I told him this was harmless, and few days back i let him mop a small area. My husband refuses to see my point. He thinks we shouldn’t give him everything he ask for and I say that we pick our battles and give him things that aren’t harmful and only discipline on things like bad behavior or if he is aggressive with his baby brother etc.

I can’t seem to make my husband understand that our son is only 5 and is going through a lot at the time (kindergarten, having a younger sibling etc.)

So i want to find a good book that will help him understand and deal with this. Amazon had too many options.

Any recommendations?

Good on you for at least trying to educate yourself, I think both of you need education in raising children. First of all please don’t give mixed messages. Five-year-olds can be very well behaved. Humans only repeat behavior that is rewarded, I can bet anything that his stubbornness has been rewarded on a regular basis. I deal with the public and it is very well known in the industry that our children misbehave a lot.

So lesson no 1, no always means no. It doesn’t become a yes if he gets very stubborn or acts up.
If he does not listen, there has to be consequences and the consequences increase in intensity as behavior gets bad, never yell at a kid, take something away that he loves. Never give threats without following up.
Dont give mixed messages, husband says don’t mop, mom says mop away..Seriously!!

I would be delighted if my child asked to mop anyway.
Overdisciplining is horrible if the child is not happy at 5 he probably won’t be ever. We develop most of our brains pathways by 5. Let the child make brain pathways for happiness.

Be consistent, always reward good behavior and bad behavior has consequences. Biggest downfall of desi parenting is mixed messages. One day they punish a behavior, next day they reward the same behavior.