Parental books for dad - desi dads

[rabia3983]

Re: Parental books for dad - desi dads

@Bobby1

I am sorry I don’t mean to criticize and no we don’t criticize or admonish our children or athletes all that much. We don’t need to as we set rules, set boundaries, train them and ake sure they are rewarded for good behavior and there always has to be consequences for bad behavior. Once kids know they can’t get away by breaking rules then life is really a lot of fun as there is no stubbornness, hot-headedness etc.

Here I will give you some basic fundamentals.

1. Set reasonable rules. You and hubby should have a meeting and set reasonable rules
   Train. You should train him to mop, hold baby brother etc and then let him do those things.
2. Set boundaries
3. Keep them occupied and engaged
   4.Reward good behavior(always)
   5.Don’t ever punish in the heat of the moment, cool down and have a discussion with the child make him realize what he did wrong and calmly take away something he likes.
4. Never yell or scream at the child, it destroys brain cells, creates problems in learning, self-confidence is destroyed and child becomes anti-social and they learn to resolves adversity by violence as is very common in our culture.
5. I am dead against physical punishment and consider that as an abuse.
6. You are absolutely right that your child should be involved in holding the brother, and house hold chores. This is how their brain and motor skills develop. My White associates talk to their children all the time and listen to them with intent. Humans learn more when they are allowed to talk and by doing. This is a very critical age and the father should be bonding and interacting and doing a lot of things with the child, the child should not be afraid of the father.

My goal was to create a lot of happy memories in my childrens brain of their dealings with me and this is why we did a lot of things together, I made them my friend and we laughed and joked and bonded. When my father died I couldnt find any memory of us having fun and bonding and that is why I chose that route.

I wanted them to reward themselves with other things than money and get a capacity to enjoy life. I have seen many desis only pursuing money for success, I wanted mine to find happiness in outdoor activitieess like camping, rafting, hiking, mountain climbing, skiing etc.

Children grow up fast and I hope your husband realizes that a child is a blessing and not a burden and he learns to be gentle, patient and kind.

I hope he doesnt hit him or yell at him.

Are you going to put him in soccer, swimming, skiing etc?

Thank you for your suggestions, and continuing to believe that we don’t have of those already. Not sure why are you continuing to assume so may things, is it because i am asking for parenting books? does that automatically means that i dont have rules/ boundaries set in my household. The books are for my husband.

YOU ARE MISSING THE ISSUE HERE…what makes you think i haven’t set down and talked to my husband. MY HUSBAND refuses to listen to my suggestions (and yours,) and that is why i want him to read a BOOK. Hoping that he will take an experts opinion better thn mine. I am getting very frustrated at the situation (having to teach everything to my dear hubby,) another example…both of us work and i get home first with the kids. I feed the baby while the older one changes and is watching a show. By the time my husband arrives, its baby bed time. While i take care of the baby, my husband will start doing the dishes (baby bottles etc.) While my older one continued to watch TV, begging his father to play with him. I had to sit my husband down (few times,) and tell him that instead of dishes…he should spend/play with our older son. I actually taught my husband on how to get his attention (make eye contact, focus on him, and then ask him to go play with him.) Now they play, dishes are done after both kids are in bed.

So you see, it just a matter of explaining things to my husband… which in this situation i am not able to. I need him to read about normal 5-year old’s behavior changes and how to deal with them.

I would like to see what your guess is about me having him in a sports activity?