This isn’t a joke but it is a real story that happened to me when I went to Pakistan last year. I thought it was funny so decided to post it here. Let me know what you think
When I went to Lahore in May, 2005, I had this guy with me from Chicago to Lahore. He was of average height, in his mid-40s, and had black mustache. He was going back to Pakistan after about 4 years after since he settled in USA. He was wearing a black suit with white shirt (without a tie, which is fine) along with sunglasses on top of his head and camera hung around his neck (which was to take photos although he never took any because he said that the camera did not have any film in it and he planned to use it once he gets to Lahore). And this guy never ever took off the camera from around his neck (EVEN WHEN HE WENT TO THE TOILET!!!). So when we were about to land at Manchester Airport for refueling, he told me that he had bought a phone card from Chicago to call Pakistan using the phone at the airport. I asked him why he didn’t call from Chicago and he told me that he wanted to call from London so I told him “Ok, go ahead” (thought I knew it wouldn’t work). So he goes and comes back after awhile and tells me that the phone card is not working. I told him “Try calling customer service.” Naaaah……just joking. I told him that it will only work within USA. Anyways, coming back to the beginning, when we flew from Chicago, we started talking. He told me about himself and I told him about myself. Everything was going fine until we were about to land at Lahore Airport. When we had about 20-25 minutes in landing, he started talking about how we should only drink purified water (that is sold in bottles in Pakistan) to avoid any illness. And I totally agree with him.
So what he did was that he called an air-hostess and asked her for some water to drink. So when she came with 1.5 Liter bottle of water with a glass, he asked her if he can keep the whole bottle so he doesn’t have to ask later. So she is fine with it. He drinks a glass and keeps the rest under his seat. He then looks back to see if she is gone. When he sees a different hostess approaching, he asks her for water too. He asks her for a bottle instead of glass telling her the same story as the first one. He does this like 3-4 times until he is satisfied with what he has piled under his seat. So I kept on watching him carefully (because I had nothing else to do since I was too excited about seeing Lahore again after like 4 years). When he had like 4 bottles of water piled up under his seat, he asks me to put MY blanket (which I WAS USING) to cover the bottles until we are about to land. So to know how far this guy goes, I go like “Sure, why not.” And when we have about 15 minutes before we are about to land at Lahore Airport, the crew member started collecting newspaper, only from those who had it to read, and headphones. This guy had the newspaper and he puts it in his bag. So before the crew member approached our portion of the plane, this guy looks next to him only to find the guy who was sitting next to him on the third seat in toilet. This guy puts his headphones under his pillow and takes the headphones in the seat pocket next to him and gives it to the crew member as his. So once the crew member leaves, he takes those headphones from under the pillow and also puts it in his bag (???Where was he going to use those headphones, in another airplane!?!).
So now we have about like 10 minutes before we land. When 5 minutes pass, he looks back to see if the crew members have taken their seats. Upon finding everyone in their places, he fastens his seat-belt (Thank God he didn’t steal that also). When we have like 3-4 minutes before landing, he open the seat pocket in front of him and takes the magazine out along with the PIA Instruction Card (the one that shows you all the emergency exits and doors) and puts them in his bag too. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY. When we passed through the security and went outside the airport, I was going to ask him what he was going to with all that stuff (probably say that PIA offers their passengers free stuff) but I was so excited to be finally in Lahore and see my relatives that I was like “Aahhhn, forget it. Aish karo.” And yes, he still had his empty camera hung around his neck (even at Lahore Airport). LOL.
