if mother in law interfer in your chid relation matter means daily telling not to do this with little baby …hold like this not to hold in this way … daily thousands of time new advices if see tell her daughter in law …if girl living in this situation so what should girl need to do
should she follow her …or stictly stop her
i am confuse
Re: pampered mother in law
say yes to her her, be polite, pretend to agree with her every command, tell her you will try.... but then do what you like! That way she will be happy and so will you!
Re: pampered mother in law
People sometimes like to tell you things...or whats the best way of doing something...but sometimes..you need to learn things for yourself and make your own mistakes. One should be allowed to make ones own mistakes and learn things for themselves.
Re: pampered mother in law
I wouldnt mind if she advised me cuz she'd have more experience. however there should be a limit :)
Re: pampered mother in law
Yah, she's had kids, she knows what she's talking about, & not to mention u also get a free baby-sitter...lol
Re: pampered mother in law
Oh, been there done that..
My MIL used to think that I hit my baby on purpose whenever he used to cry. And a lot more things, the list is just too long.
Its soooooooooooooooooooooo irritating 
Hey I am the mother here 
Anyway, no matter how irritating it really seems, you have to deal it with patience. I am not saying ke chup chaap, sar hilla ke, ji ji kartay jao. Apni marzi bhi chalao but with patience.
Because, if you try to resist her interfarence in every matter she’s going to eat you alive. Oh this thread just brought back too many memories 
Now that I am expecting another child, I am just glad that I am no longer living with her.
I agree with sparrow, about pretending to agree on a lot of things. But if sometimes you feel that she’s crossing the line then you need to step up and speak your mind. Not harshly, just politely.
Its the most difficult thing in the world. And dont let her raise your kids for you, she’ll totally ruine their personality. Make sure that you give enough time to your child. Daadi ka laad piyar apni jagha, but you’re the mother, you have to stand for yourself.
Re: pampered mother in law
And dont let her raise your kids for you, she'll totally ruine their personality.
shes the one who raised your husband whom you love so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. im sure he has a great personality.....
and here you are talking like this about the woman who brought him into this world and played a big part in how his personality is. I dont know what to say :(
Re: pampered mother in law
i think----------------it is very nasty situation----------------------
" if u in deep water keep ur mouth shut and if u can get out of water-- jump out--watch our ur situation and urs back up- urs husband
Re: pampered mother in law
and here you are talking like this about the woman who brought him into this world and played a big part in how his personality is. I dont know what to say :(
You'll understand once you get into the situation like this
Dadis are the one who spoil your kids totally. I agree they raised our husband but they raised them as a mother. Not as dadi
. They wont let you say anything to your kids.. believe me I have been through this situation and its a really tough one. She raised my husband and I salute her for raising such a fine man, but we were not even allowed to say "NO!" to our child. She used to make a big fuss over it. Isnt it frustrating that you see your child getting spoiled infront of your eyes? and not only me, my husband was equally frustrated.
there were other children in the family too, I mean my jaith's kids... she raised them because my jethani was working. And I looked at them and prayed to Allah that please help me I dont want my child to be like them. Totally budtameez and munh phat
Re: pampered mother in law
and here you are talking like this about the woman who brought him into this world and played a big part in how his personality is. I dont know what to say :(
Maybe you should say nothing. It's her life, she knew what happened and she doenst' need strangers like you judging her based on what SHE lived through.
Also, MIL might have raised a great son, but grandparents are different. Their job iwth grandkids is to spoil them , not to raise them. From what i'ev seen with my relatives in Pak, extended family just spoils the kid, they make them into rotten little brats.
Re: pampered mother in law
if u allow me to poke my nose-- in urs specifice debate - this part of urs only-- Islam put boundaries for every relation and humanbeing-- ISLAMis so natural-- if we say well, mother in law can do this and tht for being giving birth to urs husband---------------tht is not natural reply and no one can bear with it--------Husband(if fool-tryng to be funny) is virtue and blessing and GOD GIVES BLESSING without any inconvenience-- to cut short---- Married couple shld live seperately------------It is Islam------------------------- Parents shld be looked after-- one relation is not establisehd at hte cost of other---
kind regards
Impressionist
Re: pampered mother in law
Also, MIL might have raised a great son, but grandparents are different. From what i'ev seen with my relatives in Pak, extended family just spoils the kid, they make them into rotten little brats.
majority of families in Pakistan are extended....and I dont see how that has spoiled the kids.
my sister gets on well with her mother in law....I mean she doesnt feel they are spoiling the kids...and my parents give her kids alot of love too....again I dont feel they are spoilt in any way....in fact they are very well behaved compared to alot of other kids ive seen where the motherinlaw has no say.
and even my bhabhis (both of them) never feel as if my mom is spoiling their kids....in fact they love my mom so much....and my mom loves them alot too and also their kids.
I think where there is love and respect for each other....these problems dont happen.
Re: pampered mother in law
Impressionist:
yaar I know what Islam is. But this is desi culture. And you have to live with it 
No matter what you do you cant escape the joint family system. I have lived in a joint family for 4 yrs. I agree with you completely, about islamic point of view. But the desis take the culture strongly than Islam.
Re: pampered mother in law
Surely, u r a learned person, and i appreciate of it–
Islam is code of life, ecompassing the culture-----when we deviate- we create trouble for ourselves-- God is Kind and Merciful-
if we go for any family system- then we need to educate ppl--------wife, mother and else---------------education makes the differnce------ it is enlightmenet bring every one in freedomwithin given boundaries-- as God not like them who breakes the Divenely limits—
regards
Impressionist
Re: pampered mother in law
IMPLUSE:
:hinna:
Maybe your sister is one of those blessed ones with loving inlaws…
I dont want to start an argument, but you cant really judge someone, unless you put yourself in their place or shoes.
Your sister has her own life and inlaws. I have mine.
May Allah keep her happy with her inlaws.
Sara: 
Re: pampered mother in law
i think the thead bearer-- we can only talk-- u have to walk------------with patient and with sober moods--pls
Re: pampered mother in law
The kids i’ve seen, are spoiled rotten. Nobody says no to them, they run around doing watever they want. i feel bad for the poor mothers because they try to discipline them but they all seem to work against them because whenever the kid starts to cry, they yell at her and hug the kid , saying “kuch nahi hota, yeh lau, candy/toy/knife” etc.. 
And i thnk it has something to do wit coz they’re boys, the daughters are wellbehaved but one boy was born after 8 years of trying and the other is his father’s (the only boy) only son.. those two boys, both of their dadis are sick, so whenever someone tries to discipline them they say “chorrr dhooo ussskooooo , baccha haiiiiiiiii” etc etc. They say things that I would never say even now.
I know there are well-behaved kids in joint families, but I’ve yet to see/meet them personally.
You’ve your own family and life, just because someone doesn’t have hte same experience gives you no right to judge them like you did.
Re: pampered mother in law
See this is what I am talking about…
Re: pampered mother in law
-- wisely said of practical situations-----kids exploits the situations- there shld be one central authority--mother- as she is over her husband(kidding)
Re: pampered mother in law
Haq Allah!!
Dear sister, first of all let me say your Id makes me recall Hazrat Bibi Fatima-tuz-Zehra (RA), The Lady of Paradise. Its a wonderful Id.
1- Its very human for elderly people to condider themselves more experienced and knowledgible. I remember when I was growing up, I used to workout every morning. Sadly, very very few of my age used to be there, in the park.Mostly I had to encounter retired, old, men trying to maintain themselves for their survival. Well acquainted with each other, we often used to chat (remember! old people love chating.......not on the net). During that chat I used to play a trick....... ask them a question and then make them talk while I kept on working out (hehehe). Make your MIL talk by asking her for an opinion on any issue before she herself dictates you. Tell her you like her, that you wish to learn from her etc etc.
2- When it comes to doing.......... you have to be articulate in doing according to your own wishes. However, giving a thought to her advices will certainly be fruitful. You might gain a lot.
3- Believe me the formula is simple. Show of love. BTW, just read my signature.