hello guys/
one of my close couzin’s wedding is this next sunday (19th) and im really interested in learning about wedding traditions in Pakistan. for example with people here they have that ‘have something old, new, blue, borrowed’ thing. I’ve grown up in n.o where there isn’t much paki population, never been to a paki. wedding, and have never really learned much ever about our own culture in terms of weddings. my mom doesn’t necc. really feel like ansewring my q’s usually so i thought i’d ask you guys. I basically just want to learn more about the traditions, what happens nowadays in weddings; i known there are actually 7 days but what happens the 7 days and what customs etc. there are. those type of q’s. plz try to provide some info; im very curious and would like to learn some stuff.
thankee~Sana
7 days? Never heard of such thing. I have only witnessed weddings which consist of three days. The first dayis Mehndi, second day is the nikkah, and the third is the walima.
There's also this thing called Mayoon, but I'm not really sure about what it is.
Mehndi: Henna is put on the girl's hand. People sing songs. The groom's side of the family may come over to the bride's home to put henna on her hands and usually both the groom and the bride are stuck eating loads and loads of mitai. (People usually are seen wearing green or yellow)
Nikkah: Groom's side of the family goes over the bride to sign the paperwork and bring her to his house.
Walima:A part, function held by the groom's side of the family to welcome the new bride.
This was just a brief description...others are more than welcome to correct/add.
1st day : Maiyoon
2nday : Mehndi bride Side
3rday : Mehndi groom side
4thday: restday/NikahDay
5thday: Wedding day
6thday: Walima
7thday: Maklawa
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
1st day : Maiyoon
2nday : Mehndi bride Side
3rday : Mehndi groom side
4thday: restday/NikahDay
5thday: Wedding day
6thday: Walima
7thday: Maklawa
[/QUOTE]
I am sure can fit as many days you want to ;)
in brief I am explaining cause ther person who has asked doesnt really know about these, we all know so I am adding bit details
mayon... what it really means, that after this day girl or guy avoid going outside and stay at home, i realy dont know what happens for this girls add something here please.
1st official day - Mehndi (some people make it two days and some just do this as their own function without people from other side . guy with guys family and girl with her family, two seprate but done on same day) mostly involve females guests, dresses are mostly yellow and green.
2nd Wedding Day( includes Nikkah, and reception from girls side, guy come with family and friends, do nikkah, and bride go with him this day, some people do nikkah seprate from this not many), traditional dress code
3rd. Walima ( this is reception from guys side) guests from both sides are invited. mostly after this walima(after this function girls family take bride and groom with them for a day or so - its called Maklawa) - traditional /or light traditional dress for this day.
thats it. no other day, one can add another day for all the tasks that are done in 3 days and mark as separate days.
hope it helps, just for hint watch a good pakistani wedding funtion movie from your friends or relatives, you will have the reall idea about it.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
1st day : Maiyoon
2nday : Mehndi bride Side
3rday : Mehndi groom side
4thday: restday/NikahDay
5thday: Wedding day
6thday: Walima
7thday: Maklawa
[/QUOTE]
Yup i have all those days lolz.
thankees lots for all your information :) ; just few questions:
what exactly are the type of what you call rasmey in some of the ceremonies:
like which ceremony are they in and what are they really meant for if anything? like i've heard people talk of dood palai and taking the shoes from the groom but what is it all about and when and who can do it if wished?
Oh my god! 
Shukkar hai, kay meri shaadi is kay mukaable mai bohot simple thi:
1st day: Mehndi (arranged by both families together)
2nd day: Nikkah/Baraat
3rd day: Walima
That was it!
Lolz Umer bhai mine was like:
Upton one week before mehndi and then i had
Nikaah and also mehndi then mehndi at my husband side
Baraat
Walima
Muqlava.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *
1st day : Maiyoon
2nday : Mehndi bride Side
3rday : Mehndi groom side
4thday: restday/NikahDay
5thday: Wedding day
6thday: Walima
7thday: Maklawa
[/QUOTE]
- this is just ridiculous, what is the point of having a seperate "wedding day" when upon the recitation of the nikah shariat kai mutabik the couple are legally married???? *
stupid pakis who wanna throw a party, that's allll
waisey i went to a wedding once, they had the nikkah earlier that day and the ceremony later that nite
In our family we just have
*Mehndi+nikkah
*Barat
*Walima
some familes also have a makhlawa party...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sana Channa: *
thankees lots for all your information :) ; just few questions:
what exactly are the type of what you call rasmey in some of the ceremonies:
like which ceremony are they in and what are they really meant for if anything? like i've heard people talk of dood palai and taking the shoes from the groom but what is it all about and when and who can do it if wished?
[/QUOTE]
depends on the family i suppose.
at the maiyoon/manja and at the mehndi, people go up to the bride or groom, put upton on them, feed them sweets, give them money, gifts, jewelry.
at the mehndi: the girl's side also grabs the groom's finger (wrapped in mehndi), and holds on until the negotiate a price for release.
at the wedding: in a few families i've seen the girl's side stop the barat at the door, until they get more money.
in more traditional families, the bride doesn't show her face when she first comes out, and the bride and groom look at each other using a mirror under the dupatta. and they might also share a glass of milk.
after the ruksati the groom's side finally gets to make some money :p. they stop the groom from entering the bedroom (where the bride is waiting for him). again he has to pay up.
at some point after the nikkah, on the wedding day, the valima day, or a later dawat, the bride's side also grabs the groom's shoe and negotiates a price for return.
so pretty much, the groom has to give lots of money to his own family and her family. but it's okay, he gets to spend the rest of his life happily with his wife :D
What's makhlawa? I'm hearing it for the first time.
yeah what is Maklawa?
we just celebrate 3 days:
1- Mayun/Mehndi
2- Wedding day
3- Valima
thats all..
Mehndi function is specially really boring in our family. We dont do any halla gulla or nach gana u know...i really dont like our mehndis..es se acha hai na ho.
Same here - what the heck is Makhlawa? :)
I know the girl's family is supposed to throw a dinner party for the groom's side of the family after the wedding (my khandanwalas call it Chothi (as in 4th in urdu)). Don't know WHY cuz it is another reason to show off and spend useless money.
The basics should be Nikah and Valima. If somone wants to do Mehndi where the bride and groom's side bring eachother's clothes then so be it but this Mayoon bit is all hindu rasms and IMO pointless.
Wow..7 days. We just had the basic 3 days. It was very simple and not the big showy extravaganza that alot of weddings are. I'm Canadian, so obviously we couldn't do a typically traditional Paki wedding.
The Mehndi consisted of a bunch of girls with a dhol singing songs they didn't know lol. And then we ate food.
The Shaadi and Nikkah were done on the same day. I sat on a sofa the whole time for many photos. I did my own make-up. It was very simple. No dancing, barely any music, no typical games and events.
The Waleema was for 500 people. Again, I sat the whole time for many photos, barely ate. Make-up however was heavily applied by a make-up artist who regularly does desi weddings.
Through all of these days I just felt like I was on display. I really wanted a very simple and informal feeling. That's probably because my wedding was the first desi wedding I had ever experienced. I didn't have the preconceived notions or expectations of a dream desi wedding. My mother mentioned white horses and all this other stuff that was just a little over the top for me.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by saimanyc: *
I'm Canadian, so obviously we couldn't do a typically traditional Paki wedding.
[/QUOTE]
- so what ur saying is canadians of pak origin don't have traditional pakistani weddings? *
*makhlawa is badh phera {after marriage husband accompanies wife & goes back to spouse's maikai} *
7 days sounds right..can be more too if you start the mayoon a week earlier and do dolkis the night b4...
is makhlawa the chotee?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Mindless: *
i really dont like our mehndis..es se acha hai na ho.
[/QUOTE]
i agree.... is se acha hai na ho.
Im not really in favour of having mehndi function prior to Nikah :)