We already have a problem in Pakistan (and India) about skin colour ever since the colonisation. While most Desi people disliked the colonisation, they still kept certain colonial tastes as part of their own life, probably without even realising it. I was surprised by an article, which says that certain Pakistani people compared the wedding dress from a different culture to our own Pakistani wedding outfits in a colonial way:
‘The Pakistani social media was suddenly teeming with side-by-side images of Meghan Markle and Pakistani brides, disparaging the latter for extravagant costumes. The comparison was generally aimed at celebrating the gorgeous ?simplicity? of the princess bride, while snickering at the tastelessly ostentatious appearances of our jewelry-laden Pakistani brides.’
‘I was quick to remind fans of Markle?s plain appearance that her wedding gown was designed by Givenchy, at a cost of ?400,000 ? or an equivalent of well over six crore Pakistani rupees. If that price tag whispers ?simplicity? to you, you and I come from very different neighbourhoods with very different concepts of what ?plain? means.’
*'Our internalised racism often presents as knee-jerk rejection of colorful desi styles, and enthusiastic approval of blander western trends. We want our upscale cafes in Lahore designed the way we see them in London and Berlin: minimally-decorated steel-and-glass structures that look like Apple stores. We don?t usually want them looking like miniature Mughal courts.
However, we reject the latter not because they?re ?extravagant?, but because they look ?paindu? to our colonised senses. Any architect worth his salt would tell you that steel-and-glass is a terribly inefficient design that turns your home or shop into a greenhouse, and sends the cost of air-conditioning through the roof.'*
Lmao. Were our people really naive enough to think that Markle traipsed into to some plebeian bridal store to pick out her dress, or that she tailored it from a spare bed-sheet she had lying around? That blandness she donned came with a heavy price-tag, which might have been (for some) it’s only saving grace.
I didnt read the article but yes in Pakistani social media there was a ton of comparison with Meghan and Pakistani brides in terms of makeup, fashion etc. just to name a few which could probably be a longer list.
However, the fact, in my opinion, is that there is absolutely no reason to compare. There is no comparison. Period. Two different worlds, two different cultures, two different customs. So apples n oranges. Why compare?!
So in a way its naive of people to throw such things. It should be ignored rather than highlighted.
I skimmed through the article. The writer does raise a good point though in that people that are praising Markle’s simplicity and censuring Desi extravagance need to understand that the former paid an arm and a leg for that plain-Jane wedding dress. I don’t blame him for feeling annoyed at people’s hasty conclusions, lol.
In general though, western designs (be it bridal, or jewelry, or furnishing) are more understated than the Desi counterparts. I think that it’s a subjective matter. I do appreciate our more colorful, intricate, and bohemian styles. But then I also see an elegance in minimalism. The latter is less congested so it allows for deliberate focal points to receive more attention. With Desi fashion, I tend to lean more toward the less busier designs. I think that when your clothes are embellished from head to toe, it can drown out a person. With furnishing, I think I lean more towards the Desi look, or maybe a fusion. Straight lines and neutral colors do make interiors appear bigger and more spacious, but sometimes it kinda gives off an impersonal and clinical feeling that makes me feel uncomfortable. I need the warmth of non-neutral colors, I like the character that non-straight and unsymmetrical lines can add, and I also like vintage ethnic pieces, too.
We often talk about institutional racism, how many cultures are racist towards others without even realising it. We are so used to it, we don’t notice. In Pakistan, many people are even being racist towards their own people. When one would read their opinions without knowing who they are from, one would think they came from a white westerner. That is taking institutional racism to a different level.
It’s an inferiority complex on a societal level. On a subconscious (and even conscious level) the mentality is “White is right” and anything demonized by White and/or Western society is also bad for these people (even if it is their own culture). I don’t think institutional racism would be the right term, more like a post-colonial mentality but I see your point.
One generation is far too short to get rid of this type of stuff. It is going to be a long process that will require a lot of team-effort, honestly. I mean, sh*t, look at America. Racism is dredged deep into American society, going back as the founding era and only until the 1960s was there a huge effort to combat it. And there is still so much work to do today.
Change is going to have to start with Pakistani society as a whole at least naming the problem.
Our people often have this thing to throw as expensive a wedding as possible. When someone has a less expensive wedding, that person is often shamed about that. Strange when muslims do that. The daughters of Muhammad (saww) didn’t have these huge lavish weddings. When they married, the ceremony was simple and the poor were taken care of. Oh well.
The idea of having a lavish wedding always seemed strange to me. If others want to do that, fine, but when my children marry one day I don’t care about having it as expensive as possible for the sake of it being expensive. And to be honest, I’d be ashamed if I’d be in a position to have a lavish wedding from the tax money of a country where something important such as health care is getting in trouble because of money issues and the poor suffer more and more. To each his own.
