In desperate search for a new Prime Minister, Pakistan has released the following new Prime Minister Application Form.
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Name of Candidate: _____________
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Present Address
(i) Name of jail: _________________
(ii) Cell number: __________________
(If not in jail, please attach proof of residence)
(iii) If abroad, please give zip code: ______ -
Political Party
(List ONLY the last five parties in chronological order)
(i) _______________
(ii) _______________
(iii) ______________
(iv) _______________
(v) ________________ -
Size of party
(i) Myself
(ii) Me and my family
(iii) Enough to occupy a Tonga -
Gender (circle as many as apply)
(i) Female
(ii) Male
(iii) Benazir
(iv) General (any) -
Reasons for leaving last party (circle as many as apply)
(i) Defected
(ii) Expelled
(iii) Bought out
(iv) All of the above -
Reasons for contesting elections
(i) To make money
(ii) To escape court trial
(iii) To grossly misuse power
(iv) To serve the public
(v) I have no clue
(If you choose #iv, attach Certificate of Sanity from a reputable psychologist) -
Provide details of the best criminal cases pending against you. Note: Restrict to the five most recent. Attach a separate sheet if necessary.
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How many years have you spent in jail?
(i) 1-2 years
(ii) 2-6 years
(iii) 6-15 years
(iv) 15+ years -
Are you currently involved in any financial scams?
(i) Why not?
(ii) Of course
(iii) Definitely
(iv) All of the above -
What is your Annual Corruption Income?
(i) 10-50 Crores
(ii) 50-100 Crores
(iii) Overflow…
(Convert all your $ earnings into Rupees) -
Do you have any developmental plans in mind for the country?
(i) No
(ii) No
(iii) No
(iv) No
(v) All of the above