Pakistani Larkey

[Theorist]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

^ I know right! So childish.

Sorry, OP.

[Babybird]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

Yep- my husband and I were the first for one another. He had plenty of opportunity as he is super handsome Mashallah- think patan look( although he is punjabi) with green eyes. What stopped him- his faith, keeping a low gaze, wanting to remain true to himself. Although unfortunately the religious part of him has gone out the window

[Babybird]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

OP. I forgot to mention my husband was born in Pakistan. But from the stories I hear from him about his youth, the boys who had the same outlook as him were rare unfortunately including his cousins. His parents had a huge influence on his ethics and morals.

[redvelvet]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

^Experiences will vary from one person to the next. You listen to someone who had a positive experience, you develop hope. You listen to someone with negative experiences, you become pessimistic. In my case, majority of my family lives in Pakistan and most of my male and female cousins, AH, stayed within their limits to my knowledge. OP should try and pray that the one guy she ends up with is the similar to her in values as opposed to dwelling on what she thinks …or what others think…that most of the guys are like these days. Maybe I am wrong or naive…but I think it’s easier to see it that way.

[StrangeOne]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

None of my male cousins dated or did anything before marriage. It’s not a culture any body’s parents allowed. And my family is definitely more liberal where we could joke about it but everyone knew all the mothers would gang up and humiliate the hell out of them if they stepped one foot out of line (and toss them out the window). I know my cousins very well to the point that I knew about their crushes and what type of girls they liked so no one was hiding anything.

Just have to see the family and friends of a guy to know what kind of character he is.

[Qabil]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

OP baji. I am a Pakistani uncle from similar background as yours and as much as I know, there are hardly two to five guys out of hundred who give in to temptations before marriage. And around or slightly less than half of the guys dont even try to flirt with girls thinking that “meray apnay ghar main b to maan behen hay”. So your chanes of getting a shareef life partner are actually very high.

[simawaq]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@Qabil

OP baji. I am a Pakistani uncle from similar background as yours and as much as I know, there are hardly two to five guys out of hundred who give in to temptations before marriage. And around or slightly less than half of the guys dont even try to flirt with girls thinking that “meray apnay ghar main b to maan behen hay”. So your chanes of getting a shareef life partner are actually very high.

You are wrong! More then ever girls are now into stuff, they never should have been with guys who still maintain shareef title some how.
5 years we have witnessed it heavily, har larka larki ka chakar chal raha hota hai seniors mein, phir after graduation, they have photos of mangni, shadi with someone else, aur jo japhiyan wo 5 saal dalte phir rahe hote hain, puri university ko malom hota hai. Pakistan changed alot in past ten years.

@Babybird

Yep- my husband and I were the first for one another. He had plenty of opportunity as he is super handsome Mashallah- think patan look( although he is punjabi) with green eyes. What stopped him- his faith, keeping a low gaze, wanting to remain true to himself. Although unfortunately the religious part of him has gone out the window 

@Theorist

Yes, my husband and I were first for each other. We met when we were 18 and got married almost seven years later.

Very Lucky both of you, May God give you strength, nibhaney ki!

Plus @Theorist you seem a pretty decent person, can we get decent looking avatar too ?

[simawaq]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@pak2015

Bechari ka thread derail ker diya for no reason..yes carry on

Nai hoa Derail, I am not Bechari!

[strangeworld]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@simawaq

Focus of my question are the boys (of Pakistani origin only)

I am girl 24, born and spent whole life in Pakistan. Never went abroad. Extremely average Pakistani girl from middle class family, . who gets good education, learns handi roti, adapts to cultural and family values, has some ethics, moderate religious values, does parda, very normal upbringing with similar girls in school/college/uni life.

By all conventional defintiions of shareef larki, i am one. Now folks from other side of the world might think, I am part of the same old conservative, non liberal, mulla stupid system. They can have that opinion, but I am not. I like the way I am.

Now the real question.

One week ago, some family came to our house, looking a rishta for their son.

I have been having alot of thoughts since then.

So all my life, I have kept a good distance from the guys. Never had any phone/real affaris, never had given some one opportunity to flirt. maintained reasonable distance to where contact could not be avoided, such as class assignments, project groups. Even wore lose clothes where gathering was boys in greater number.

I have believed in saving myself for the right one. clear consicence and all that. I am not alone, to the best of my knowledge, a good number of girls are out there who are like me.

Now in your experiece, how many pakistani boys are out there? for the monogamic life, saving themselves for the right one too ?
Or do you had a husband for whom, you were the first and last?

First of all that is very beautiful all what you’re doing and trust me the reward’s going to be more than you ever wished for.

As far as guys are concerned there are a lot of guys who are also doing the same and if you haven’t encountered one you’ll soon.

I think saving ones self from falling in to temptation is one of the biggest fights youth has to go through now a days and some stick to their beliefs which totally depends upon their upbringing most of the time and others can’t hold it for much longer and get astray.

One interesting thing in this regard that I would like to mention is, if you go back into history of men and women fashion you’d be surprised to see that men are still wearing same stuff they used to wear 20 or even more years back but on the other hand when it comes to women the way they dress now its very revealing, sexy, tempting and vulgar.

So that whole temptation thing, women have a great role in that. When I was in uni some of my female classmates would deliberately touch themselves with mine and that’s just one example as I don’t like to go deep into this.

What you can say about women who believe in the theory, “If I go out naked the guy looking at me is bad”.

You’ll find women now a days following this sh*tty theory one way or another. I’m not saying it’s entirely women but women have an enormous role in today’s tempting, lost, depressing and sexual era.

[simawaq]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@strangeworld

First of all that is very beautiful all what you’re doing and trust me the reward’s going to be more than you ever wished for.

As far as guys are concerned there are a lot of guys who are also doing the same and if you haven’t encountered one you’ll soon.

I think saving ones self from falling in to temptation is one of the biggest fights youth has to go through now a days and some stick to their beliefs which totally depends upon their upbringing most of the time and others can’t hold it for much longer and get astray.

One interesting thing in this regard that I would like to mention is, if you go back into history of men and women fashion you’d be surprised to see that men are still wearing same stuff they used to wear 20 or even more years back but on the other hand when it comes to women the way they dress now its very revealing, sexy, tempting and vulgar.

So that whole temptation thing, women have a great role in that. When I was in uni some of my female classmates would deliberately touch themselves with mine and that’s just one example as I don’t like to go deep into this.

What you can say about women who believe in the theory, “If I go out naked the guy looking at me is bad”.

You’ll find women now a days following this sh*tty theory one way or another. I’m not saying it’s entirely women but women have an enormous role in today’s tempting, lost, depressing and sexual era.

You are right, I understand where you are coming from. It takes two to tango! take down the critical bird, second one never leaves the nest!
Now I am gonna get sidetracked from my original topic, myself

People have all sorts of theories, for the change the we (women) of Pakistan went through. Below are some theories.

1. Oxytocin : Coming from cows milk, we are over tempted.
2. Lingere Mafia : They want sales increase, how do they do it, push up ones! VS cant do, its expensive
3. Outcasts : So those who cant socialise or find their social groups, try checking some boxes, and become soooper coool, that revealing jeans that your mom does not know about is one!
4. Karma : We are giving sh*t to the whole world, same **** comes back to us, ripping through us. Check this video (appologies, it on YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRUklQ0XTKk )
5. Thats your enemy country : Who teach you to be tempted through the dramas, make porn more accessible, even funds the cafe business promoting dating hotspots, funds the religious parties at the same time.
6. Thats your parents: Girl Just turned 16 learned the world is super competetive place, while herself as family unit does rate much above average, but indvidually shes much better than rest of her jahil and paindu family. They aren’t gonna be helpful in getting her the right match! time to go on shikar, herself!

just some theiories!

que Dieu nousaide

[jeans]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

Yar…Ab meri be izzati haone wali hai… But to the girl… I think… A marriage will involve ques. And circumstances more complicated then that… Yes… It is a big issue… BT If he did that… I don’t think that will effect ur whole life… In anyway…

Yar… Choose the most decent… Nd rest toh tabhi pta chal jayega na… Wn u live with him…tht toh is a one time thing…

And original girl good luck finding such a guy + an enduring relation…
.

[Deeba1234]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

Strangeworld, go and google what women wore in the 1960s (or the 1920s for that matter).. It’s a little ridiculous to say that women are showing more skin now.. Fashion works in cycles, it’s not just a downward slope towards nudity lol.. In one period fashion might favour more fitted dresses or mini skirts whilst later it might switch to looser longer boho chic and maxis..

[Thornewood9]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

Can’t comment on Pakistani guys but there are still decent people out there. There is a dua you should read which is supposed to help you get a good life partner inshallah. Its the dua Musa AS prayed after he had to flee his home.

Dua to get married:(Dua of Prophet Musa peace be upon him)
‘‘O my Lord ! Truly I am in need of whatever good You bestow on me’’
رَبِّ إِنّى لِما أَنزَلتَ إِلَىَّ مِن خَيرٍ فَقيرٌ
Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer
Surah Al-Qasas ,verse 24
This dua was made by Prophet Musa(peace be upon him.Allah [subhanahu wa taála] blessed him with everything that he needed when he made his dua.

You read this dua after every farz prayer and then make dua to Allah that he gives you a good chaste spouse. It works you know. My elder sister did it, I did it and so did my younger sister. Alhumdulillah we all have good husbands.

[Qabil]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@simawaq

You are wrong! More then ever girls are now into stuff, they never should have been with guys who still maintain shareef title some how.
5 years we have witnessed it heavily, har larka larki ka chakar chal raha hota hai seniors mein, phir after graduation, they have photos of mangni, shadi with someone else, aur jo japhiyan wo 5 saal dalte phir rahe hote hain, puri university ko malom hota hai. Pakistan changed alot in past ten years.

Has Pakistan changed a lot in last ten years? Yes it has. Has pre-marital sex become prevalent tenfold among youths of Pakistan in these ten years? No it hasn’t. But I take at-least one statement of my post back. Apparently, we are from different backgrounds. If I feel that the glass is 95% full and you think its 95% empty, it can’t just be difference of perspective. It only means that we are talking about different glasses (or in this case, about different classes).

[geminifromkhi]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@simawaq

5 years we have witnessed it heavily, har larka larki ka chakar chal raha hota hai seniors mein, phir after graduation, they have photos of mangni, shadi with someone else, aur jo japhiyan wo 5 saal dalte phir rahe hote hain, puri university ko malom hota hai. Pakistan changed alot in past ten years.

This is so common now! You see a couple roaming around the campus and lurking in deserted places for 4 years and after graduation the girl will bombard your news feed with I love my husband posts.

[queer]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

it is common sense to keep an engine well oiled and running smoothly well before the race. what if you save up your carburettor for 30-35 years and then realize omg my valves has all rusted away and now 3 of the 4 cylinders simply cannot be used, while other party has all 6 cylinders revving at 8000 rpm? vat than?

[simawaq]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@Thornewood9

Can’t comment on Pakistani guys but there are still decent people out there. There is a dua you should read which is supposed to help you get a good life partner inshallah. Its the dua Musa AS prayed after he had to flee his home.

I so wanna give you a hug! When we look at people like you, we just know, world will be a better place, lets just keep the hope alive.

[simawaq]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@Qabil

It only means that we are talking about different glasses (or in this case, about different classes).

Nope, Glasses it is, need a good pair of them. Long range preferably.

[simawaq]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

@queer

it is common sense to keep an engine well oiled and running smoothly well before the race. what if you save up your carburettor for 30-35 years and then realize omg my valves has all rusted away and now 3 of the 4 cylinders simply cannot be used, while other party has all 6 cylinders revving at 8000 rpm? vat than?

If I have understood you correctly, I’d like to quote a small peice from Bano Qudsia’s Raja Gidh, Pg ~34. I read it 10 years ago and I am quoting it for the first time in my life.
1.png
If you can’t read it, I cant blame you, you’ve been in CA long enough (no offence dood).

your example was kinda very irrelvant, but i still tried to respond to that.

[queer]

Re: Pakistani Larkey

pal, i can’t read whatever that is. but here is the thing - if you want to marry a guy who has never had any experience interacting with womens, you will more likely than not end up with a pappu. at 24, you probably think he will turn into salman khan after marrying you but no. you will have a zillion billion years of boredom ahead.