Wat is it with them n keeping thier words? wat r they so scared of? Anything happens, n the first thing that goes is their promise..like my cousin re-thinking about his engagement cuz his uncles arent happy with it…wtf!!! And i have seen it happen a billion times…when losers just break off relationships cuz they arent man enough to handle the consequences 
wait and let all your girl friendsgather here and then do dunyaa jahaan ki buraayan of desi men 
Every type of men And women are there, not all fingers are equall.
this doesnt include him 
Code MOST pakistani guys r like that..they cant even take decisions on their own
you can’t really generalise yaar… 
… all pakistani guys r not like that…i guess there’s ppl with all kinda characteristics in every race…
well most r..they cant stand behind their word..think about being in that girls place. Someone has gotten engaged to u cuz they say they want to spend the rest of ur life with you n now they are thinking about it again cuz their retarted uncle (Allah mian please forgive me for insulting my own uncle but i have to :-/) think they should have been engaged to someone else
yeah i feel bad for the poor girl :-/
this is an international male problem, not just Pakistani. :p
Not another one. If i had a dime for every sob story i have heard against pakistani men i would have roughly 5 bucks. But of course most of the time it's the girls fault anyway.
TJ its pretty simple. This guy is gonna settle down with one girl. Give up his freedom and basically become a slave. I think he should take all the time in the world to make sure this decision is the right one instead of regretting it for the rest of his life and making his future wife's life miserable as well.
He has to decide for two people. He wants to make the right decision. If he makes the wrong decision he could easily destory the girls life. *Cut him some slack.*
Many guys at the time of their marraige are not independent, and those who are, they are still under influence of elders. That is both good and bad in certain conditions good in a way that
-
They are not * be-lagaam* means they are answerable to elder of their actions so in a sense they are responsible most of the time.
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Many marital issues are resolved with the proper intervention of elders of the family and thus divorce rate is not high.
Surely elders are wrong many times and in some family they are resposible for problems. As i said world is not perfect so are we.
I would be okay with this reply, if TK said , there is somethign wrong with the girl etc. When there is nothing wrong with her at all, but the guy’s uncles dont like her, doesnt seem to be a good enough reason for breaking off the engagement. He is supposed to think of him, her and their IMMEDIATE families. i am soooo sick of this desi mentality: my chachoo kay sasur ki phoppo doesnt like the girl, so i am not going to marry her
And yes, a girl’s life IS destroyed in our desi community when her engagment is called off. The next rishta is not going to find out WHY the engagement was called off: they are just going to run in the other direction.
thats jut one part of it…i was talkin about how hurt she would be..
Code Red when this was going on before he got engaged, i didnt say nothing cuz offcourse they can tell us their opinion but I dont think uncles should be expecting us to do exactly wat they want us to do..hes got his own right to chose..but thats a diff issue. My problem is, now that hes made up his mind to marry her, why NOW think maybe he shouldnt have? just cuz his uncle isnt happy? thats not even his dad.. how can guys be so unsensitive to the person they claim they love?
Mehnaz Atleast some guys have the gutts to decide wat they want in life n follow through with it
**A mother plays a tremendous role
in the upbringing of a child. Guys who turn out
like that most often that not have mothers behind
their upbringing too. Hence such
characteristics trace their routes back to a female.
It is said that behind every suceessful man is a
woman. And behind every failed man is a woman
as well.**
Aw come on! That's ridiculous!
If he likes the girl and she likes him then it should not matter what anyone else says!
He needs to take responsibility for his own actions... if he can't do that she's better off with out him.
Of course wait a minute...!? When's the last time you ever heard of anyone getting engaged of their own free will to the person of their choosing after actually getting to know them really well on their own!?
Chances are it was the relatives who got them engaged too. So I guess in this case their say so is what matters?!
Re: Pakistani Guys and their Un-manliness
Why do have to just look one side of the coin.
Imagine a girl is married to a guy who wants to divorce her for another woman and because of his “un manliness” he is unable to go ahead.
I have seen it happen a billion times…when losers DON’T break off marriges cuz they aren’t man enough to handle the consequences.
Seriously....
A close look at our culture and its practices reminds me of how once in class we discussed about urban and rural lifestyle, the benefits and drawbacks of both and how society can be individualist and non individualistic.
Urbanism promotes individualism where as rural life promotes the opposite. Life in the rural areas is community based and centered and promotes or rather requires collective effort. People living in villages and rural areas depend and constantly call on each other for the daily activities. Resources would bring the people together and would require them to join to cooperate.
For instance back in the non mechanized days the harvesting was done collectively. Farmers would call on one a few other farmers to assist him in the harvest and then they would do the same in return.
Where as in urban lifestyle every can live an independent and individualist life. Every individual can have a job and earn his own living. Lives in a separate residence where he can individually have access to all his needs. He is no directly dependent on the other members of the community.
The social and economic factors make the rural society more non individualist than an urban society. Pakistan to this day has almost 70% of its population in rural areas and most of us have roots in rural areas. Hence our desi culture is excessively non individualistic. It does not promote thinking on an individual level. This contributes to what you call “un manliness”
What and how will this change perhaps need a new thread....
no hun I dun think that they can’t take decisions on their own it’s just that they dun like the gal no more…they prolly like someone else…thaz wah it is…and to get rid of the old one they make such excuses kay blah blah ko nahi pasand…aur may unki waja say asa ker raha hu ya ker rahi hu…
Re: Pakistani Guys and their Un-manliness
tell me bout it…
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
this is an international male problem, not just Pakistani. :p
[/QUOTE]
Trust Miss Q to have an international perspective on things.