I’m new here! My name is Mayameen and I’m a student.. I also have a question I’ve been wondering about for a while now so let me just cut to the chase..
A while ago, I dated a pakistani man, with the intent of marriage from the beginning. We were getting to know each other and it seemed he was just as interested in me as I was in him and we had good conversations from the very beginning. However, there were a lot of problems too, he wasn’t as emotionally involved despite insisting he was serious about me… after a couple a months he told me he went to his parents and that he realized that they would like him to marry a pakistani girl.. and that that’s what they always wanted for him… just like that.
The thing that bothers me the most is the fact that why it took him 6 months to tell me something he seemingly knew from the beginning.. I feel rather used because of it.. I’m not really sure what I’m asking, but as I’m not pakistani..I’m wondering whether this is normal.. i feel stringed a long..
Haha im not quite sure really.. i guess i'm wondering how this works in pakistani culture... im arab myself and my parents most important criteria is that the person should be a good muslim.. but i don't know, how much of a say do parents have in pakistani culture?
Haha im not quite sure really.. i guess i'm wondering how this works in pakistani culture... im arab myself and my parents most important criteria is that the person should be a good muslim.. but i don't know, how much of a say do parents have in pakistani culture?
sorry to hear about what happened to you it must hurt alot.
I think that this is not really about him pakistani or not i actually think this is about him NOT being a quality man, a Mr. Unavailable.
Ive kept that pretty short, but through personal experience thats what i honestly think.
its a 100% paki mentality (and sometimes indian), its to do with what i call the "star plus generations" which is us and our parents, i date white girls but i'll prolly marry a desi, most of desi guys are raised as "mamma's boys", thats why 90% of the threads on here deal with psycho MILs who love their sons too much or are related to that topic in one way or another
... are you asking whether its normal for Pakistani guys to string non-Pakistani girls along? An interesting question in the light of current situations and I would be interested in the motives behind it ;-)
To answer your question, its a simple no.
I think the fact that his actions didn't match his words should have been warning sign that he wasn't serious even though he was saying he was. Actions speak louder than words.
The fact that he then used the excuse that his parents wanted him to marry a Pakistani girl was probably more of a reason to find a way out, as most Pakistani guys if they're serious about any girl, will at least try to introduce you to their parents if they think it can work. I know of many mixed Pakistani marriages where this is what happened.
I think you should move on from this jerk, and next time make sure actions match words, because words are easy to make but actions are harder to match. Hope that helps.
The thing that bothers me the most is the fact that why it took him 6 months to tell me something he seemingly knew from the beginning.. I feel rather used because of it.. I'm not really sure what I'm asking, but as I'm not pakistani..I'm wondering whether this is normal.. i feel stringed a long..
its true pakistanies men raised to attach their parents alot & girls expected to be leaving their parents easily & adopt with men's parents without same expection from them(as they had from their own parents)
but its abt typical culture of pakistanies
but abt marriage it depend of family culture some familes will be praud of having a western bride...some want a pakistani raised in west as a praud ...some will be happy abt a muslim non pakistani girl but maybe some family stick to only pakistani but most familes will not say no for a muslim girl from another country ...
so truly speaking he is flirting thats all!
he says NO in hidden words
me & my hubby married while he is pakistani living another country & im not pakistani living another country but he made his parents agree & they came from diffrent countries for proposal!
thats not culture issue thats a respected NO
