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*Originally posted by TheNewWannaBe: *
so is this "the paindoo" you're referring to?
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lol no, i was just replying to the_paindoo's wave
Okay..... it gave me a wrong idea :)
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*Originally posted by irem: *
lol no, i was just replying to the_paindoo's wave
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She should let her parents marry her again. Parents made a mistake choosing the first spouse for her, they may not repeat it. I believe this time they wud be more careful in discharging their duty. I wont recommend that she looks herself for rishta except she knows someone and is willing to marry him with her own free will or a friend helps her.As u know irem, it all depends on one's fate so there is no guarantee that the next one she marries theough whichever process, proves to be a better person. True that marriages are lotteries. Who gets the bumper prize and who loses the stake is unknown.
irem
I know of 3 such cases, in 2 cases the marriage just did not work out so things ended, both of those girls are happily married now, one met someone herself..another one had some relatives introduce her to people.
I know you did nto ask this, but is she getting a good divorce settlement,..alimony, assets etc etc? if she is not she should. The third case i know happened to a girl whose husband dropped her off in pakistan and told her not to come back..and actually tried to block her coming back since she had her immigration thru him
reasons..here she can sue for alimony and would get part of the couple's assets.
she is working now and all, but I am so glad that she did nto fall for this guy's bakwaas.
now, as far as approach goes, she does nothave to be part of the uncle aunty crowd where bored aunties have nothing to do but talk. she can become part of young professionals groups, social service organizations and community groups. This does not mean she would not get treated badly by some due to their jahalat, but it will be a more cinducive atmosphere for her to meet soemone.
I would also not give up on the parents finding someone for her, she can be more careful and scrutinize the candidates more.
Irem said she got khula. Don't think she'd get any part of her ex-husband's assets when she gets a 'khula'. Not sure what legal procedure she went thru to get 'khula' in the US. Probably just an uncontested divorce.
SS maybe u r right....thanks for the reply :)
thanks Fraudia bhai for the great advices :)
i never asked her about the assets stuff, and honestly she is not the greedy/materialistic type to even care, mashallah she is working and can support herself...
she preferred not to have to deal with anything related to him, so i dont think she wuld have even cared abt alimony etc just so she dint have to have touch with him...
Faisal bhai, exactly, i'm not sure either
Go to sleep Irem.
Kaam ke liye nahi jaana? :nono:
wow. Life is tough hey. Poor girl, I think she feels ashamed of herself. She should go to the local Masjid, make friends. I dont think people would judge her. So many people live on their own, for goodness sake.
tnc - i already woke up and now i am at work 
cw - yaar i guess when u r raised in a really protected and sheltered environment like most of us r in pak, then u face such issues 
it definitely really sucks 
and yah life is tough for her but mashallah she’s bounced back very well still 
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Irem said she got khula. Don't think she'd get any part of her ex-husband's assets when she gets a 'khula'. Not sure what legal procedure she went thru to get 'khula' in the US. Probably just an uncontested divorce.
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Doesnt matter if its a Khula or not. In the US there is no difference between the woman or the man seeking divorce. She has the same legal rights either way. However alimony is a touchy thing and would only be awarded because of children or because she was brought over to the country and she could not support herself and he can and normally he would have supported her. Assests are a different thing and they would be split according to the laws of the land and who created them. it really depends on what sort of divorce she had. if she gave up all her financial/legal rights to the guys assets for the divorce then she wouldnt have any legal rights to his assests/money.
In the US for divorced women it is a lot harder and they need to be more socially active because there are people out there but when you cant be seen or heard from its hard to know how to meet people. the other option is also to meet people not ust pakistanis but Indians and other South Asians who have lived here for a couple of years. Especially if she plans on living here, they are often more religious and just as culturally aware and more accommodating of people.
She got her greencard, what else she wants?
Send me the bio, my brother is single and available. Complete details available upon request.
thanks for responses everyone
Kaleem bhai, i'll check with her and if she's ok with it i'll PM you. thanks.
Khali wave back kar diye… oh bi bi who is more eligible than me over here 
(literally)