One thing i notice amongst Pakistanis is how stringent they are in letting their daughters and sons in getting married.
It’s like if your not a doctor then you can’t marry my daughter and from the Hindu’s they have that stupid caste thing like he/she must be a Sayyed to marry my daughter/son.
As much as i love Pakistan and it’s people the national traditions are ridiculous and just helps keep the divisions between the people.
Then they try to say it is Islamic. Like an arranged or forced marriage is seen as Islamic while that is just another thing we have picked up from the Hindu’s.
Friends of mine view marriage like this and not surprisingly have a negative view of it.
And it is because of this that we find a decline in marriage and an increase in divorce.
true.
there's really not much you can do to stop it though - you can argue for hours on end about the injustices, but those who dont want to listen, wont listen.
I think if Pakistani media tried to tacke this issue more tactfully, it would work. I still see some dramas being made in which the parents are deemed correct in the end, and the sinner children end up marrying who their parents want them to, even if its the wrong reason.
Yeah i know...this is the case with most of the Pakistanis...but mashallah..in my family it has almost finished...My father being sheikh and mom syed tells that...but yeah parents do feel comfortable if their kids get married in family abt whom they know...well my eldest sis got married in new ppl..and didn't hv a very good experience or shud i say a very bad one...so the rest of my siblings hv and r getting married in ppl whom we hv know for many years...so i guess parents are not always wrong... ucan't blame them.
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[This message has been edited by UMAIR316 (edited July 15, 2002).]
[QUOTE*And it is because of this that we find a decline in marriage and an increase in divorce*[/QUOTE]
Actually its the complete opposite of what you are saying.
Divorce rate in United States where arranged marriages are very rare is 52%.
And divorced rate in Pakistan is 1%
Figure!
That particular point wasn't in refferal to the arranged marriage.
I was referring to the Western marriage. In the Uk they say more than 1/2 of couples that get married will end up divorced. I was saying that this culture is now in places like Pakistan and thats what the problem is.
At the same time there are others who go to the other extreme which is to force their children into marriage.
I also think their is a difference in a forced marriage and an arranged marriage. Islam itself forbids forced marriage but some justify it out of Islam.
I haven;t been to pakistan for a couple of years but i have a friend who went to visit a university and he told me free girls were and how some of their clothes were no different from the West...short skirt as an example. But you also hear about forced marriages eg girls from the UK forced to marry someone in Pakistan and then the media try and say Islam is backward and that is their way of marriage.
If things are different please tell me. When you say arranged marriage do you mean forced marriage?
How do Pakistanis go about marriage?