maybe it's best to take the middle path... someone born in Pakistan but lives in the West or someone born in the West but lives in Pakistan (and attended an American school there) :)
It boils down to compatibility. We have a lot of stereotypes on guys/girls in Pakistan- they're marrying for a green card, will have fobby accents, have oppressive views, the girls there are not saints, etc. Stereotypes can be wrong. But I think the bigger reason why people in the US or other Western countries don't go for someone in Pakistan is the risk involved... less interaction and less likely to perform a thorough background check.
If we were to do background checks on a random set of 100 girls and a random set of 100 boys from Pakistan, then I can guarantee, there will be more skeletons in the closet for the boys than the girls.
It's not so risky if you're a guy marrying back from Pakistan. But if you're a girl trying to find a guy back in Pakistan, you're going to run into all kinds of characters before you find someone suitable. And nearly ever girl is looking for someone suitable...not a character. So the competition is even worse.
^ Yeah, I would think that there are more hidden skeletons for the boys and girls in the motherland. The reason being, in the US, we have much smaller Pakistani communities, so everyone knows one another or you have lots of common friends. If there's a guy or girl over here who is getting drunk in a bar, lots of people will know because the community is much smaller.
If we were to do background checks on a random set of 100 girls and a random set of 100 boys from Pakistan, then I can guarantee, there will be more skeletons in the closet for the boys than the girls.
It's not so risky if you're a guy marrying back from Pakistan. But if you're a girl trying to find a guy back in Pakistan, you're going to run into all kinds of characters before you find someone suitable. And nearly ever girl is looking for someone suitable...not a character. So the competition is even worse.
I believe if you're from the UK you should marry from the UK. Ab banda pak se banda import karay, it doesn't make sense to me. Pehle woh visa lagai phir yahan job dhonday, it's a complicated and lengthy process in my opinion. They'll have to get used to the way of living here, driving rules etc are totally different to Pakistan. People let the anty, uncles from Pakistan stay there. Aapnay paon ke kulhari mat marain. It doesn't just apply to guys from there i'm talking about both. Agar larki wahan ki hogi usko apni mama yaad ayangi. She'll have to go all the way to Pak. Personally I would never marry from outside the country I live in and my brothers wouldn't want to marry a girl from the Pak so we're all ok. Baki log apni kheir manain
It's so funny how the girls all think this. I wonder, how many of you went back to Pakistan to look for rishtas for your brother or your cousins? Then, the same rules don't apply?
PCG: My brothers and cousins refuse to get married from Pakistan because one of our cousins married a girl from Pak. Sorry to say but she wants her whole khanda here now. Secondly, In our family all the cousins greet eachother either by shaking hands or we hug eachother. I reckon that the wife was kinda shocked because this was all new to her?I'm not critising her because I can understand that they probably say salam from miles and miles away. She's not used to the lifestyle we have. At the same time I don't feel sorry for my cousin either because he didn't listen to us and now he understands what we were trying to explain. I just wish before saying yes people would look more into the person they'll be marrying. There's no harm in weighing the pros and cons. Personally, I see more cons and very few pros in such marriages.
I think you should go for whoever you want, somebody you know you can trust. It doesn't matter where they are from, it depends on who they are. You can get arses here and in pak, no matter where you are good, honest guys are hard to come by...
And the thing about guys from western countries gettin married to kuriya from pak, I think it's mostly the family's influence, and these guys want to stay with their parents. Girls from the family back home aren't very likely to leave her in laws, however, there are some exceptions.
I personally don't think it's very nice when parents are finding their sons a rishta in pakistan, and sneer when you ask if they are looking for a rishta for their daughters there too. They should get there sons married in the UK too. (or vice versa.)