This is one of the first questions a girl’s family has towards a guy. What is your education?
I get immigrants and their challenges when they go abroad to get education, and I understand that within Pakistan there are limited seats for higher levels of education when compared to total population. Not everyone goes to grade school even.
But what about Pakistanis raised abroad, especially where education is a right and is free for all? Why are these guys not going to college, and roaming with a high school education looking for rishtas?
I see a huge blue collar group of pakistani workers out there. No college, maybe went to community college for associates.
What are their barriers to education, and would you stay away from rishtas with less than a college education.
Is college education enough, or do you look for someone who is at least masters/grad school educated?
Is this question about girls whether they look for a masters or grad school education? I am surprised there are so many guys who settle with high school or community college when this can affect their long term prospects.
Is it because of money, or they think they won't be competitive enough? Maybe they want fast short term money over long term wealth? Then they bring up examples of Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or the guy who made facebook who did not not complete their degrees and made it big. They forget to mention these guys made it to Harvard.
Maybe the parents don't emphasise education to them. All the other asians focus on education so we should as well. My family is full of doctors and engineers and it was always emphasised to me and my sisters that education is important so at very least we've completed degrees. Some have gone onto more.
I'd prefer my wife to be professional and working. If she decides she doesn't want to at later stage that is fine as well.
It is an interesting point you raise. I am not sure how it works in US, UK in terms of higher education at University and fees. But in Australia, we have a system of HECS, high education contributions scheme.. whereby an Australian Citizen undertaking bachelors/masters degree does not pay a cent on semester fees until they graduate and start earning at a threshold. After that a minimal fee / yr is deducted from your salary. Of coruse for those who can pay are encouraged to and by doing so recieve a certain % discount.
So maybe other places around the world $$ is a factor? Family circumstances where the child needs to be sole bread winner for family if parents are disabled? Just throwing out there.
But I do believe until and unless it's a very extreme valid reason, why wouldn't you pursue education in a first world country where its a land of opportunities... But.... on the contrary, in Australia a plumber or laborer sometimes earns more than average engineer, IT, accountant.. But is a very desi thing not considering other professions as 'good professions'..
What about pressure on guys to become doctors or engineers?
Some may feel disheartened by such expectations if they have do not have passion for the subject and may choose something completely different. Like some are on the verge of being disowned by parents because they dropped out of a traditional field and chose a creative field.
How many people would be cool for their children to become fashion designers, sport stars, writers, film makers and in theatre etc. If someone is good at a job because they are passionate they will do well.
Why just work in a stable job if you feel no passion, why not choose a job that makes you feel alive on the inside? How much money does one need to have for comfortable living and luxuries? If we have excess wealth how much will waste it? How much will spend it for charity? If someone does not have enough money for charity they can always contribute with their actions and time.
To be completely honest, I will not be ready to accept a guy whose level of education is just upto high school. The reason for this is because I myself am at uni, so therefore naturally I would want a guy who is on the same level as me (educationally) and earns the same or more than me. I would like the guy to look after the family and not vice versa because for me it is unnatural for the woman to be earning more and taking care of the finances etc. Also, I know that uni is not everything but it gives you something to talk about like comparing experiences etc etc. Getting a degree also gives you more scope to grow in your career which a high school certificate will not. Unless the guy has personal reasons for not continuing with their education, then I will deem the guy to prefer immediate gratification over deferred gratification, which isn't to my fancy tbh. In the UK, you don't have to pay your university fees until you graduate and get a job and are earning a certain amount, even then you don't pay it back all at once, so you shouldn't have any problem. But that's just my preference.
It's family based usually, if they don't really value education then why would the offspring. Larger community and social circle plays a role in it as well. That is why in UK at least you see a huge difference in different Pakistani communities in terms of education. US seems to have similar trends
Is college education enough, or do you look for someone who is at least masters/grad school educated?
Definitely just college education is not enough in my opinion and I must add no matter what great financial credentials you have, you can't substitute it for good education.
Definitely just college education is not enough in my opinion and I must add no matter what great financial credentials you have, you can't substitute it for good education.
Did you come across a high school degree rishta PCG? :O
That's a no no in my books. My husband just has a bachelors in engineering but I would like him to try and broaden his horizons, so I think master's is important, but sometimes you can land a good job with an engineering degree without a master's. So for me bachelors would be like the bare minimum in finding a husband.
And by the way, the guys who are nicely educated and more liberal - they dont even wanna marry pakistani girls, they go marry outside in other cultures, and plus/minus may still practice Islam at the end of the day.
So, the guys that your sister WOULD be compatible with --> either they're with some gori, or they're already taken, or they're hopefully out there and hopefully some other girl doesn't nab them first.
Go to any rishta lady or rishta company , the girls outnumber the guys in terms of education, upbringing, character, whole nine yards. Very sad.
Education has less preference in our society and culture (if we have any). Even look at annual budget of the govt. More money is spent on roads and bridges than education and health. Vast majority of the girls' parents look at the earnings of their potential 'damaad' than his qualifications.
Girls are more educated because everyone knows (including them) that they will sit home after marriage, so to spend time until their marriage, allowing them to go to college, university is a good practice. For boys to get into business, job or any other venture, a minimum level of education is required and after that 'right connections' are needed not a university degree. At least this is the case in Pakistan.
You can put filters on those rishta sites so that no one above/ below a certain age/ education etc can contact you. You can also write the same in your profile. But the filters work better.
Education has less preference in our society and culture (if we have any). Even look at annual budget of the govt. More money is spent on roads and bridges than education and health. Vast majority of the girls' parents look at the earnings of their potential 'damaad' than his qualifications.
Girls are more educated because everyone knows (including them) that they will sit home after marriage, so to spend time until their marriage, allowing them to go to college, university is a good practice. For boys to get into business, job or any other venture, a minimum level of education is required and after that 'right connections' are needed not a university degree. At least this is the case in Pakistan.
Isn’t these true for guys everywhere. Probably because guys can get a higher paying job right out of high school. Who gets paid more a motor mechanic ( profession dominated by men ) or a regular secretary ( profession dominated by women )? So women have more of an incentive to pursue higher education.
I don’t think the guys you’re talking about have anything against Pakistani girls. Au contraire, they don’t discriminate against anybody which means who they marry comes down to probability. Assuming a guy comes across X number of girls over a period of time and 2% of them were Pakistani, what are the odds of him marrying a Pakistani girl. Easy answer 2%. It’s probably not that simple, but Pakistani girls lost even when the conditions were ideal, just because they are so rare.
Education has less preference in our society and culture (if we have any). Even look at annual budget of the govt. More money is spent on roads and bridges than education and health. Vast majority of the girls' parents look at the earnings of their potential 'damaad' than his qualifications.
Girls are more educated because everyone knows (including them) that they will sit home after marriage, so to spend time until their marriage, allowing them to go to college, university is a good practice. For boys to get into business, job or any other venture, a minimum level of education is required and after that 'right connections' are needed not a university degree. At least this is the case in Pakistan.
Roads and bridges are equally important for economic growth. If you wanna talk about messed up priorities, take a look at the military's budget. Pakistan spends more on it's Army than anything else.
And the US is not any better. Expenditures on health, education and welfare programs are criticized religiously, but nobody talks about the defense expenditures. Why the f do we have troops in Germany, Japan and South Korea. Are they paying us any money for the service we're providing them. Not enough to balance our expenditures. So much money is dumped in research geared at developing new weapons. Do we really need all that, we're already years ahead of everybody else in the world when it comes to killing people.
In my extended family mainly girl are educated and boys are mostly under 10. But
most of these boys got married to highly educated girls. We are punjabi and trust me its so hard to find a punjabi educated male:D.
