Question for all you gals: How many of you went to Pak for wedding shopping? How long did you think was a doable time (the shorter the better) and how far in advance before the wedding.
Did anyone get their outfits made without going to Pak–either trusting family/communicating with designers online, etc? How did that go? Would you recommend that?
I’m trying to decide if it’s worth going for 2 weeks in December. I live across the country for school so I will be doing most of the planning through a wedding planner. I’m a bit of a control freak about certain things (namely, clothes/makeup) so I can see the positives of going to Pak but those 2 weeks would be valuable for doing things like checking out venues personally instead of relying on parents, having makeup trials instead of rushing a month or two before the wedding, etc.
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
Hi!
I would say the best option would be to go yourself. My sister trusted our mother and her MIL to go for her shopping but they messed up on a few things. The lehenga didn't turn out the way she wanted. It was still amazing but not what she had asked for.
Otherwise if you have a sister or cousin who could go, or someone in Pakistan who could help your mother, that could work too.
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
If you're a bit of a control freak probably best you go yourself.. Family might have good intentions but they aren't psychic and might pick something you don't like.. Not worth the risk imo..
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
I agree with the others- go yourself if you can. There is so much variety in the markets, it always helps to see it for yourself. You can pre-schedule hair and makeup trials to make things go smoother but keep in mind december is prime wedding season in Pakistan so you might not have an easy time scheduling these as most salons are booked to capacity. On the flip side, I always think trials with a completed outfit are better and the weather is nicer in December.
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
I didn't go, and it was fine, but I'm not super particular about things. Or I wasn't then. :D
If you can go, even two weeks could be enough to select your designs and put in orders. Stuff could be mailed to you or come with people you trust who have space. Maybe get in contact with designers that have sellers or a base abroad too or people you know have shipped abroad before.
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
I agree with the others- go yourself if you can. There is so much variety in the markets, it always helps to see it for yourself. You can pre-schedule hair and makeup trials to make things go smoother but keep in mind december is prime wedding season in Pakistan so you might not have an easy time scheduling these as most salons are booked to capacity. On the flip side, I always think trials with a completed outfit are better and the weather is nicer in December.
Oh, the wedding would be here. I just meant that instead of going to Pak, I could get the makeup artists/etc all sorted out HERE while my mom was in Pak doing wedding planning stuff. Lol, the variety in the markets is exciting AND scary for someone like me that can't make a decision. I have yet to find an outfit that I felt like was "the One".
You should go yourself - but do all the prep work. The venues and stuff should be done well in advance. The makeup trials are helpful but the day of the wedding is the day of the wedding . You should have details sorted here well before time. as far as the dress - that too you should have an idea of what you want months in advance if you are doing a custom dress. Rememembet your wedding should be memorable but it's still only one day and the all the functions will last only one week. Life doesn't end after the wedding so don't make it end all or be all
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
soconfused - I am in your EXACT situation!
I am getting married in May 2015. I have loads and loads of pictures of clothes but haven't really found THE ONE either that I can say - okay replicate this entire outfit. Its more - the border from the pic, the dupatta from this pic, the sleeves from this pic. And that is driving me insane. My mom is willing to go to India from Sept - Nov or maybe Jan - March for shopping, provided I arm her with all the pics and specific direction as to what I want. I was thinking to create a binder for her with clear high quality color print outs of pictures with all the details written in it for her. Plus I do trust my mom's taste and feel she could come back with something beautiful - BUT it does freak me out that I may not LOVE IT. I want my dil to go dhak dhak when I see THE ONE outfit and I am afraid of missing out on that experience by not being there with her.
The most time I could take off from work for a quick trip overseas would be like 7-10 days because of work, etc. The only reason I am even considering it is because I would like to give my measurements in person and approve of everything in person too before we bring it back home. I have worked with home based designers before and have had things made through email and then couriered to me and it was a great experience. So that is always an option. But since my mom really wants to go to India anyway I feel like I should take advantage of her going and at least try to get my clothes made through her. I work in a different city than where my parents live, but I regularly text her pics of things I like so she can tell me her opinion and also get an idea of what I like. I feel like that has helped my confidence in her a lot too - the fact that she knows and understands my choice.
I am hoping it will all work out in the end whether I go or not. I hope it works out for you too! I know how stressful this can be!
Oh, the wedding would be here. I just meant that instead of going to Pak, I could get the makeup artists/etc all sorted out HERE while my mom was in Pak doing wedding planning stuff. Lol, the variety in the markets is exciting AND scary for someone like me that can't make a decision. I have yet to find an outfit that I felt like was "the One".
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
soconfused - I am in your EXACT situation!
I am getting married in May 2015. I have loads and loads of pictures of clothes but haven't really found THE ONE either that I can say - okay replicate this entire outfit. Its more - the border from the pic, the dupatta from this pic, the sleeves from this pic. And that is driving me insane. My mom is willing to go to India from Sept - Nov or maybe Jan - March for shopping, provided I arm her with all the pics and specific direction as to what I want. I was thinking to create a binder for her with clear high quality color print outs of pictures with all the details written in it for her. Plus I do trust my mom's taste and feel she could come back with something beautiful - BUT it does freak me out that I may not LOVE IT. I want my dil to go dhak dhak when I see THE ONE outfit and I am afraid of missing out on that experience by not being there with her.
The most time I could take off from work for a quick trip overseas would be like 7-10 days because of work, etc. The only reason I am even considering it is because I would like to give my measurements in person and approve of everything in person too before we bring it back home. I have worked with home based designers before and have had things made through email and then couriered to me and it was a great experience. So that is always an option. But since my mom really wants to go to India anyway I feel like I should take advantage of her going and at least try to get my clothes made through her. I work in a different city than where my parents live, but I regularly text her pics of things I like so she can tell me her opinion and also get an idea of what I like. I feel like that has helped my confidence in her a lot too - the fact that she knows and understands my choice.
I am hoping it will all work out in the end whether I go or not. I hope it works out for you too! I know how stressful this can be!
You just described my life. My mom wanted to go next May for my wedding next July (iA) but I told her that was absurd because no one will make me anything in that amount of time. They've cozied up to the idea of me going in December but its a LOT of money for 2 very short weeks. So that stresses me out with all the other additional weddings costs adding up, too. :S I trust my mom and she usually brings all my clothes for me, but a bridal is...different. I want a very specific shade of red and a very specific look--I just don't have the picture to show her what I exactly mean and that's what freaks me out. Also, my family in Pakistan is pretty fashion forward but they have different taste and tend to be pushy. I'm gonna be devastated if they were to send me something I didn't ask for because they thought my idea was too "paindu"; they've already tried to convince me to steer away from red (NEVER!) I'm hoping I can get venue and whatever booked before then and then fly and at the very least get some work done regarding my clothes. :S
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
You just described my life. My mom wanted to go next May for my wedding next July (iA) but I told her that was absurd because no one will make me anything in that amount of time. They've cozied up to the idea of me going in December but its a LOT of money for 2 very short weeks. So that stresses me out with all the other additional weddings costs adding up, too. :S I trust my mom and she usually brings all my clothes for me, but a bridal is...different. I want a very specific shade of red and a very specific look--I just don't have the picture to show her what I exactly mean and that's what freaks me out. Also, my family in Pakistan is pretty fashion forward but they have different taste and tend to be pushy. I'm gonna be devastated if they were to send me something I didn't ask for because they thought my idea was too "paindu"; they've already tried to convince me to steer away from red (NEVER!) I'm hoping I can get venue and whatever booked before then and then fly and at the very least get some work done regarding my clothes. :S
i had the same issue with family members who had initally offered 'help' in making the exact same dress i wanted in order for me to avoid paying the extra uk charges..but it ended up in them choosing 'better' dresses with different kaam and colors because they thought it was better. I quikcly backed off and told them a big thank you for helping but I will arrange my bridal myself. They dont realize the meaning of helping, they want to be pushy and have their own input or they wont help.
This is why I am sying, you should go yourself.
People are trying their best, but choices are different.
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
I totally get it. If I did make a binder for my mom of pictures and specifics of what I want, I was going to include swatches of fabric that match the exact color I want in my bridal outfits. I figure she can show those swatches to designers to get an exact match. And I totally understand the family interfering with their opinions. Its scary to feel like your voice isn't being heard! My mom is going to Delhi but I know I want more of a Pakistani style outfit. I know she will have a hard time finding a long kameez type of outfit with a long dupatta ready made and that she will most likely have to get something custom made, and I am not sure she understands that. We just kind of had a stressful conversation about this just last night.
And you're right that a ticket overseas is expensive for such a short visit. I know its a once in a lifetime experience and all, but spending 1K + on a ticket...thats the cost of a bridal itself. I am still weighing the pros and cons of the situation as we have some time before dates are finalized, etc. to see if its the right decision.
I don't know too much about the bridal jora process, but yes I would think if you're getting married in July, your mom should go in Feb/March at the latest so that theres a good 3 month period for your joras to be ready and brought home with little stress!
You just described my life. My mom wanted to go next May for my wedding next July (iA) but I told her that was absurd because no one will make me anything in that amount of time. They've cozied up to the idea of me going in December but its a LOT of money for 2 very short weeks. So that stresses me out with all the other additional weddings costs adding up, too. :S I trust my mom and she usually brings all my clothes for me, but a bridal is...different. I want a very specific shade of red and a very specific look--I just don't have the picture to show her what I exactly mean and that's what freaks me out. Also, my family in Pakistan is pretty fashion forward but they have different taste and tend to be pushy. I'm gonna be devastated if they were to send me something I didn't ask for because they thought my idea was too "paindu"; they've already tried to convince me to steer away from red (NEVER!) I'm hoping I can get venue and whatever booked before then and then fly and at the very least get some work done regarding my clothes. :S
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
I totally get it. If I did make a binder for my mom of pictures and specifics of what I want, I was going to include swatches of fabric that match the exact color I want in my bridal outfits. I figure she can show those swatches to designers to get an exact match. And I totally understand the family interfering with their opinions. Its scary to feel like your voice isn't being heard! My mom is going to Delhi but I know I want more of a Pakistani style outfit. I know she will have a hard time finding a long kameez type of outfit with a long dupatta ready made and that she will most likely have to get something custom made, and I am not sure she understands that. We just kind of had a stressful conversation about this just last night.
And you're right that a ticket overseas is expensive for such a short visit. I know its a once in a lifetime experience and all, but spending 1K + on a ticket...thats the cost of a bridal itself. I am still weighing the pros and cons of the situation as we have some time before dates are finalized, etc. to see if its the right decision.
I don't know too much about the bridal jora process, but yes I would think if you're getting married in July, your mom should go in Feb/March at the latest so that theres a good 3 month period for your joras to be ready and brought home with little stress!
Lol yeah that's what I've told my parents but they won't listen. It doesn't help that they've had to go to Pak a LOT this past year for family reasons so the $$$ is adding up.
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
I didn't go but then I had to double my budget & more. My outfit colors weren't exactly what I wanted, but beggars can't be choosers. It's been so insanely stressful. If I had family in PK who could take me around, I would go, and trust me the money you spend on that ticket, you will save when you're buying stuff cheaper over there. I couldn't go b/c no family + no time, so I justified increasing my budget by a lot. The closer you get to your wedding though, the more stuff you'll let go of. I was so insanely particular, and I am just like 'get it done' now. 2 months to go!
Re: Pakistan for going shopping vs trusting family
So going to Pak might not be happening for me. I don't have reliable relatives there and with all the other stuff going on + the cost of tickets + scheduling, it might be less stressful getting the outfit from here. Are there any particular designers that aren't a complete pain in the butt to work with online? I keep reading these horror stories on other threads and it makes me worried...
I'm on the west coast so the only thing we have even remotely close to us in terms of pakistani bridal wear is Mirage Boutique but I have zero experience with them. I can possibly travel to DC/VA area and maybe Canada but that's about it. Any ideas, suggestions?