SARDAR JOKES
SARDAR’S BMW
BMW cars used to have back mounted engines in the past.
Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
Hari Singh: “The BMW people have fooled me. They have given me the car without an engine.”
Gani Singh: “Don’t worry. I have a spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that.”
TO LOOSE WEIGHT…
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What’s the problem?"asked the doctor.
“I’m 2400 kms from home.”
SPARE BOMB
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari Singh asks “What happens if the bombs blast off now”. Gani Singh says “Don’t worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat”
COUNT THE CHICKENS
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
“Hey Bhai,” Gani Singh drawled, “what’s in the bag?”
“Chickens,” was the reply.
“If I guess how many, can I have one?”
“You can have both of them.”
“OK, Five?”
ANOTHER COUNT!
Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling “86, 86, 86”. He asks the man, “Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling ‘86, 86, 86’?” The man says, "Well, I can’t tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out.
He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, “Okay.” The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling “87, 87, 87”…
EMPLOYMENT?
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes
AT THE INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets. The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him “Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?” Hari Singh replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi?
In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (No Assumptions Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they’ve lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him “aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya” Gani Singh replies “aare yaar main tho mosquito repellent lae ke gaya tha”!
HEIGHTS OF REVENGE
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound “guooonn, guooonn.” He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says “so ja machchar, bete so ja”. After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says “Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn.”
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck’s goin’ on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver.”
CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Sardar was going to Chandigarh from Pune by a air-India plane. He was allotted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”. The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adamant and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the assistant captain. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immediately left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the assistant captain asked the Capt.. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied: “Nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar.”