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exactly…u’ve to trust ur child if he says he is NOT in a mood to study and let him choose his own time N place and keep an eye on his/her grades…if he is getting what he is suppose to get [according to his ability, and u can establish that pretty quickly that what he/she is capable of], if not then enforce rules.
i used to hate when i was in the univ [and my folks wud tell me do this, do that; don’t do this, don’t do that] i absolutely hated that. i told my bro once that yes i made horrible mistakes in life but now i’m sincere with my studies so plz let me do it the way i like to do and when i’m ready for it…he is a wise guy, he agreed and alHamdolillah he never was never unhappy with me again. thanx to Allah…everything worked out well…
so, enforcing rules and does and don’ts don’t work…u’ve to trust ur kid in the beginning and then take up the case as the situation may warrant. u build up the trust.**