Our elderly

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
1

The elderly in our culture rock. I mean really, they may not be as “hip” as the old timers in US but in my view they rock.

I actually miss not being around our buzurgs. And I am not talking parents or chacha or kahala type elders only, but the grandparents or great grand parents variety. I always learn something new from them about how things were, and their assessment of the current era has so muc more depth to it than my own since they can out that in perspectie with years of experience.

One thing I try to do is spend time with the elders when I go to Pakistan or when I meet some here which is not quite as often as I would like.

The reason our elders rock is the way they warm up to you even if you are not related to them. Every mohalla has the “nana ji” or 'dadi jaan" of the whole nieghbourhood. The person would be one person nana and everyone would start calling him that, and he would treat everyone as if he really was.

That is such a great pleasure to go to Pakistan and meet the elders. My nana’s nieghbour who is not related but always had been so kind and so open to us that you wnder if that is possible anywhere outside of our culture. Or my friend’s daadi who saw me since I was 13 and had not seen me in many years, insisted that he pick her up from his cousin’s place on the day my old college gang was having dinner at er place because she wanted to know all abut us and our biwi bacchay etc

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One of the cutest thing I have ever seen is how my daadi has a secret stash of teh snacks that every single one of her 50+ grandkids like. She would reach in a shelf by the bed, or ask us to pull out this container from under her bed, and she would just hold one hand and talk away. She is almost a 100 years old now. By her admission she would be a 100 in 2 years. Her brother suggested that she hit the century mark in 1999. Its so adoring how she always says naheen I am not 100 yet

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On my last trip to Pakistan, I had a long chat with my nana and he told me his life story, why he made choices he made, what was going on at that time politically, how it impacted him..etc etc etc. I mean some of these people lived amazing lives, ful of adventure and saw major events unfold and their perspectives and wisdom is something we dont often think about, but its there for us to learn from.

I recently had the most interesting conversation with an old lady who had lived thorugh indpendence struggle and migration as well as witnessed events in east Pakistan in 1971. It was so much more real coming from a person than from a book or some so called expert.

I want to record their conversations, their life story and their perspectives for my future generations so they can know their great grandparents better than I, who only heard about them from my parents and grandparents.

what have your experiences been?

2

Fraudia, yeh itni barri eulogy kon parHy ga?

3

someone who knows how to read

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obviously not you.

4

HaaN, parHna ya likhna aata hota to Tauweez likhnay naa shooroo kar daita!

5

[quote]
Originally posted by Roman:
HaaN, parHna ya likhna aata hota to Tauweez likhnay naa shooroo kar daita!
[/quote]

abay tumhara kaghaz parr angootha laganay ko "likhna" naheen kaha ja sakta.

6

thanks Mr. Fraudia, that was a very interesting post..and i truely enjoyed reading it..

My grandparents are not alive..but their siblings are and it's always a pleasure to spend some time with them when i visit pakistan..one time i went to visit a door ki dadi..and she's almost in her 80's, but she loved eating chat when the cholay wala passed by in the galli..she wanted to buy some chat, but she was hesitant to ask me coz she thought it would effect my digestive system..i convinced her that everything will be fine..and then at 9:00 am we were eating it while sitting under a tree..everytime i think about her i just smile..at numerous occasions i do miss old people..specially how they do give plenty of duas and put a shafqat wala hand on the head. In short, without older people there's no raunaq.

7

Mr. F, this is such a cool post, I was smiling all the way through reading it

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You reminded me of my grandfather telling me all of these amazing stories about his life. He would tell me about the partition and what life was like then. He’d also tell me stories about when my father was a kid

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That was the coolest thing

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Thanks for reminding me of those memories

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8

they sure r the best....so loving and caring..i miss them so much...

9

Its a blessing to have the elderly, and i feel very blessed that i've had the opportunity to spend time with them. I've heard incredible stories, how they lived their lives, and its truly amazing. When i went to pakistan, the elderly that i wasn't even blood related who had known me since i was young were showing so much love, i was overwhelmed. They remembred me doing things when i was little, and how i used to be. I love when they give you 'pyaar' with their wrinkled hands, and they give you so many blessings :) and i say gather as many blessings as you can from them. :)

[This message has been edited by ~Sehar~ (edited July 30, 2001).]

10

Indeed elederly are a blessing. I always enjoyed talking with my dadi jaan. She passed away few years back. I miss her so much. Her hands were always up for duas for all of us.
Those duas & blessings protect us from so many bad things.

Phir Sahib your post made me sad.

[This message has been edited by roshnie (edited July 31, 2001).]