Often our friends tell us some stuff about themselves and they say ‘dont ever tell anyone this’…
There’s different degrees of emphasis which they put on this ‘don’t tell anyone’ thing about different matters…
and sometimes we ourselves too put these things in different categories as ‘this can be told without problems’ ‘telling this will bring qayamat’ and so on…
do You usually keep your promises to your friends…all the time? some times? depending on how seriously she/he asked u? depending on what the nature of the matter is according to how you see it? or there is one person u have to tell everything no matter what etc…
and how do u feel abt what u do? would u like to be better at keeping secrets or it doesnt really bother u that u tell?
do you agree k ‘aurton ka peyt bohot halka hota hae us mein koi baat naheen pajti’?..women cant keep a secret to themselves? or no?
and do u think its a sign of having a kanjoos and secretive personality if u dont tell?
neways…the way i feel is that a promise is a promise..if u don’t think u can keep promise then don’t make it…its untrustworthy n if u keep it up long enuff…nobody’s gonna be telling u ne secrets again…
thats true yaar…lekin…imagine this scenario..ur friend tells u something and tells u not to tell anyone…
i have some secrets from two friends that i never told anyone in the world…
lekin if someone else who is VERYYY close to ur heart asks u k tell me, wont it be difficult for u to keep it away from them? how do u deal with it then? doesnt it put a distance between u and this person if u dont tell them that secret? in my case i usually tell coz i dont want a distance wiith that friend but i ask them to promise k dont tell anyone else… but then it also makes me feel like i betrayed my first friend
so its a tough situation
also yaar, have u heard that saying, ‘if u cant keep ur own secret dont expect anyone else too’…dont u think if u had a secret…a real DEEP secret that u wont ever want anyone to know, u would never tell it to anyone in the first place right?
hmmmm…well good point
i think that if someone who was very close to u wanted to know secrets that someone else had told u, i wouldn’t tell bcoz if the friend who told the secret wanted them to know, s/he would tell him/her …i dunno i’ve never been in that position but i would like to think that i would be able to keep my silence…it might put an initial strain on the relationship but in the end, it is for the best (or so I think)
well, i have never told MY deepest secrets to neone..not even my closest friends but i think that some ppl need to tell others so they can get some relief by getting everything off their chest but that doesn’t mean u should turn around n tell someone else…two wrongs dont make a right…just the way i feel
i see ur thoughts, and where u r coming from...i agree with part of it...
hmmm aik aur baat hae yaar...
what if friend a told u a secret and u want to tell friend b with the purpose k friend b might be able to help friend a...lekin u know that a does not want b to know....shud u still tell? coz u know k b can really help a
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
thanks LP :)
i see ur thoughts, and where u r coming from...i agree with part of it...
hmmm aik aur baat hae yaar...
what if friend a told u a secret and u want to tell friend b with the purpose k friend b might be able to help friend a...lekin u know that a does not want b to know....shud u still tell? coz u know k b can really help a
[/QUOTE]
in that case yes...if u rele believe in ur heart that by telling friend b the secret u will be helping friend a then i say do it......
no…u cant keep lying…i think u should have the guts to tell friend a but also tell them why u told friend b…be honest n say that u thought it was in her best interest if friend b knew n so u decided to tell them..or if u dont think u can do it have friend b tell friend a him/herself
yeh i think so too lp…the best thing would be i think i to tell friend b and then tell friend a k i told friend b…coz i know a would never tell b…
hmmm…
khayr still a lot to think abt…
coz a dint want anyone to know at all..
so i am still thinking if i shud tell or no…
will see
i know that saying, once u bring your heart’s secret to your lips, it is not a secret any more. so before i reveal anything confidential to anyone, i do consider the possibility that my confidant will tell someone.
my fiance says that he doesn’t want to know of any secrets i harbour, unless they are expected to impact our lives. it is one of the things i really like about him, coz i know a few girls who blab everything about their friends to their better half, and sometimes the guys do the same.
when someone tells me a secret, i would never reveal it, be they a good friend, or a mere aquaintance. if i felt that person B was being inquisitive trying to pry a secret about person A out of me, i would rather lie and say i didn’t know a thing about it. however, if i felt that person B had the potential to help person A in a way i couldn’t, i would first ask A for permission to reveal the matter. OR it is also possible to convey the gist of the matter without going into the details of it.
Tis in my memory lock’d,
And you yourself shall keep the key to it
-Shakespeare
Yes. Simply yes, i do tell other peoples secrets, but with extremely good reason. In my group of friends, i have been given the role of confident and the guy who fixes stuff when the **** hits the fan. In such cases i have to betray confidence, let out information and the like, for the good of the group etc.
But two normal rules. I dont give names. Like so and so heard told me this. Second I go to the source. If i hear stuff or someone confides in me, i usually go to the source to check out whether its true.
