Have a good laugh!!!
Osama had originally planned his Act of Terrorism for India, and had
asked his Deputy Joint Additional Secretary to execute his plan.
The DJA Secretary carried out the order, but, as fate would have it, the
results were frustrating for Osama.Days before 11/Sept, Osama had thrown a report back on his desk after he went thru the outcome of the exercise carried out by his DJA Secretay. Our spl. correspondent had somehow got the chance to steal the following extract of the report:
Sir Osama, Assalam Waliekum.
We carried out the exercise you asked us to do.
We targeted The Maurya Hotel in Delhi (since their kebabs were not up to Taliban standards).We had very easily got into 6 Indian Airlines Planes flying from Mumbai to Guwahati via Patna, with our guns and grenades.But the operations could not be carried out for the following reasons:
Plane 1: Did not take off. It developed Technical Difficulties(Indian
Airlines’ pale, sickly omelettes were not ready).
Plane 2: It took off, but without us (we were off-loaded to make
room at the last minute for a Minister and his chattel).
Plane 3: It took off, but had a forced landing in Jaipur due to fuel
shortage. We subsequently learnt that both the pilots were Sardarjis, who came late on duty. They then started the plane on the runway in Mumbai, stepped out of the cockpit and stood in front of the engine fans to dry their hair. This consumed half the fuel. In Jaipur, they had only camel dung for fuel, so the flight was cancelled.
Plane 4: It took off and was successfully approaching Delhi.
We were about to take over the aircraft when suddenly it started
descending steeply. On investigating, we learnt that both the pilots were Bengalis. During a friendly chat, they got into an argument over whether Marx was dead (though they both agreed that Netaji Bose was alive albeit 118 years old).When the matter got intense,they forgot about the aircraft, which they left in the hands of God, who neither believed in, so the plane crashed.
Plane 5: We had taken over the controls of the plane without any
bloodshed. We paid Rs.5 Lacs each to the pilots (Gujaratis don’t come
cheap), who agreed to jump out and leave the planes to us.
We went head to destroy Maurya Hotel. As we tried to increase speed for
the bang, we realised that the plane could not reach the desired speed (the Sindhi maintenance crew had earlier sold the Airbus engines on the black market,and had replaced them with Hindustan Motors products). The plane then wobbled towards one side, and crashed 10 miles east into the Qutub Minar.
Plane 6: We tried again. But this time we had a passenger named
Laloo Yadav on Board. We don’t know how he brought cows on board, but these cows came straight in to the cockpit and were followed by a bunch of Biharis. Both species used the cockpit as their toilet.
This demoralized us completely, and we surrendered to them. We were
thrown out of the plane Right now we are writing this report from Safdurjung Hospital. The situation here is worse than any Taliban torture chamber -at least we sterilize our instruments.
For Allah’s sake , please take us from here …please!
I’m sorry if its posted before.
good one!