I was talking about goris (red district or not) - since that's what the OP was talking about. Desi girls are a different story.
i don't think its abt average goris u r talking abt but perhaps the gori cheap gals that u hang around with.
I was talking about goris (red district or not) - since that's what the OP was talking about. Desi girls are a different story.
hunh?
dude ur company is pretty pathetic, period.
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Thank you all for your comments, I will talk to her :). And, yea_Boii, your comment is crude.
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Best of luck to you Jumi! I think things will go just fine....try not to forget ... she's a colleague, she's a person just like you.
As far as "boi"...well I guess I'd be insulted by his (her?) comment but considering the source and the glaringly obvious ignorance there...I only feel pity.
It sounds like you hang out in a "red light" district boi! Lol! Get a LIFE man!
Julmi, you mentioned that the gal is a gori. We goris do not distinguish between sexes, we have grown up in an integrated society and most often have friends (JUST friends) of both genders. She hangs out with the married dude because they apparently get along. Its common, and it does not mean that they are interested in each other "in that way" if you get my drift.
As far as her watching you and saying hi etc, it sounds like she is interested in at least attempting to start a friendship. Dont get all in a twist over it, just gather your thoughts and if you want to persue a friendship with her, have a list of things in your mind to talk about. Things like "so how do you like working here", or "My commute to work is too (long/short), how is your commute" ...which would lead to where do you live, do you like it there, have you always lived there. Or - keep it more work related as in "the thing I'm working on is going really (great/bad) because of (whatever)....what are you working on and hows it going.
The thing is - try to just FORGET that she's a gal. Talk to her as you would talk to ANY co-worker. Then things will just move along nicely.
Good luck!
couldn't have offered more sound and practical advice...
it's very easy for desi guys to get led on by simple social gestures that they mistake for "interest", so Julmi, don't assume anything just yet, but no harm in testing the waters gradually as suggested to see if she is indeed interested.
Best of luck to you Jumi! I think things will go just fine....try not to forget ... she's a colleague, she's a person just like you.
As far as "boi"...well I guess I'd be insulted by his (her?) comment but considering the source and the glaringly obvious ignorance there...I only feel pity.
Mamaof3, I have send u PM, could you please have a look?
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Bro, I think you should just conjure up your courage and go and talk to her about small things hey how do you like workin here or something work related that how are you liking this project or that one .... and everytime u walk by her office/cubicle drop in to say hey howz it going .... after u have developed this initial thing just ask her one day that you forgot to bring ur lunch and if she wld want to go grab a quick bite .... if she says yes then you're gold if she says no she already brought lunch then don't lose heart just be like alrite but you owe me one now with a lil smile and go around and about ur business ... once you have a frndship thing worked out with her just ask her fi she wants to go for coffee or dinner after work and game set and done :p
Tear it up.
OK, people I need your opinion about my situation that I am in.
First of all, I am a shy person (I hate myself for that :( ), anyways at my office, a few months back a girl joined in the same deptt I work in, its a big deptt so we dont get to know or talk to every memeber that often.
I am not sure the way that girl behaves, is just normal or she is sortof interested in me :$. I find her looking at me even if she is talking to a group of people and i am just passing by, sometimes she would trun back and say hi, if she knows I am behind her (our rooms are not that far so atleast we get to see each other a few times) and sometimes when she is passing by my room, would stop at the door, say hello and move on (even though I have never talked to her except of hello when we see each other like anyother collegue).
I started noticing this since last few weeks. And before I could gather enough courage to talk to her :(, I can talk normal work stuff, but I have never talked to anyone when I have this feeling in the back of my mind :(. now, the recent twist in the story is I see her nowadays with some other collegue (who is her team member unfortunately, a married guy, and a gora).
Now I am not sure how should I interpret all this? She is pretty, goris mostly are :), but pretty in a good way i.e. my type of pretty. I dont know how should I procede :(. Now that I really sooo very much want her, she might not be interested in me anymore? kia meinay bahut dair ker di? what should I do now?
The moral brigade, please spare this thread.
I guess I would be included in what you term the "moral brigade."
Assuming that you start talking to this girl and things develop to the point of a relationship.............what next? Would you have the courage to commit to her if you have a serious interest? Or in the end, would you rather prefer to settle down with a desi girl?
I'm just confused as to what direction you this would go in? Are you just looking for a "good time"? Because, that seems wrong to me. And I wonder if that's why you wanted the "moral brigade" to spare the thread.
Reading your post, it seems that you're wanting to initiate something "more" than friendship with this girl. But what is your intention? Do you just want a good time with no strings attached (kinda messy in the workplace)?? Or would you be serious about getting to know this girl? I guess what I'm trying to ask is that are you deliberately wanting to initiate things with this girls on a purely temporary basis................or are you serious? If you're not truly serious about her and if you're only looking for a good time........have you considered the potential of one party being misled by the other? And let's assume that things get messy......keep in mind that it can be awkward seeing the former love interest at work on a daily basis.
I'm not trying to kill your hopes here. I just think it's good to also consider the negative aspects before starting something. Several times, people in the Life Forum have asked the general question, "**If a guy/girl KNOWS fully well in advance that he/she can't commit to relationship....either due to future parental objection......or differences in culture..........then why bother starting things in the first place?" **This is commonly seen among desis. And if one knows that there is no real direction or future to a situation..........isn't that like toying with the other person's feelings?
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In general, it's considered **unprofessional **to start relationships with coworkers. In the event that things turn sour.........it will not only be very uncomfortable to face that person at work each day......................the other person might find ways to screw you over at work out of spite/revenge.
And as Mamaof3 suggested.........she could just be displaying friendly co-worker behavior that could be misconstrued as a romantic.
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Make the 1st step and pay-off her credit card balance, she'll be yours forever. :p
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Have all the desi ladies died? Grrr
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make an effort
ask for her number?
ask her to do somthing with you etc.
if she accepts, shes interestedish. and u take it from there
if she doesnt u go back to the hello routine.
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Uskey sar pe kya seengh hein???
Go and talk to her like a normal human being.
Based on your post, it seems to me that you have a romantic interest in her. So think about the consequences of staring things and the direction that they have the potential to take and whether or not you think you're able to handle the challenges that might arise from the situation.
As far as striking up a conversation with her, if you're shy.......you can start of small at first. Just saying "Hi, how are you?" whenever you run into her. That's it. It'll take but a few seconds. Once you feel comfortable with that, then progress toward asking/making general comments about work.
i don't think its abt average goris u r talking abt but perhaps the gori cheap gals that u hang around with.
You have to understand Mabrook. Its an evolution thing. Its not the Goris fault. Its just how they developed. I am talking about way way back. Ask mama of 3 about it. She explained it to me.
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A few things. First of all, my desi brothers seem to think that every time a girl smiles at them or stops and says hello, it means she's into him. Guys come on, this is just someone trying to be polite and being themselves. Maybe she's noticed that you are 'too shy' and is just trying to make you feel welcome. Trust me, if she were into you, it would be OBVIOUS.
Secondly, if she's hanging out with some other dude who is married, there's nothing to INTERPRET. She's hanging out with a coworker, absolutely normal. Don't read too much into things.
Lastly, if you like her, it's tough, you WORK with her, if you try anything you might get FIRED.
A few things. First of all, my desi brothers seem to think that every time a girl smiles at them or stops and says hello, it means she's into him. Guys come on, this is just someone trying to be polite and being themselves. Maybe she's noticed that you are 'too shy' and is just trying to make you feel welcome. Trust me, if she were into you, it would be OBVIOUS.
Secondly, if she's hanging out with some other dude who is married, there's nothing to INTERPRET. She's hanging out with a coworker, absolutely normal. Don't read too much into things.
Lastly, if you like her, it's tough, you WORK with her, if you try anything you might get FIRED.
THANK YOU! I mentioned that as well. It seems like not all consequences are being taken into consideration by the poster.
I have heard of stories where people have complained to their bosses about a co-worker's romantic confessions or inappropriate behavior. There have even been cases where even flirtations can be taken as sexual harassment by some people. Plus, what if you start something with this girl.........and things go sour or you offend her in some way............not only will it be awkward facing her at work............she could potentially try to screw you over at work as well. Just because someone is smiling all the time.....is not a strong indication of their character.
Whatever you decide to do, proceed with caution.
A few things. First of all, my desi brothers seem to think that every time a girl smiles at them or stops and says hello, it means she's into him. Guys come on, this is just someone trying to be polite and being themselves. Maybe she's noticed that you are 'too shy' and is just trying to make you feel welcome. Trust me, if she were into you, it would be OBVIOUS.
Secondly, if she's hanging out with some other dude who is married, there's nothing to INTERPRET. She's hanging out with a coworker, absolutely normal. Don't read too much into things.
Lastly, if you like her, it's tough, you WORK with her, if you try anything you might get FIRED.
Someone speaks common sense here, finally.
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Julmi Bhai, get over "Hansi tu phansi" thingie. Its quite a norm here (in west) and people do smile on eye contact no matter if its gal or guy specially at workplace.
If you like her, you can tell her she will appreciate it. She might just be looking for friend at workplace.