Why is it in our culture when a woman speaks her mind or is rude to someone (with good reason) people say “zubaan chala rahey hai.” But its ok for a man to do that? in life people annoy you, make you angry and treat you unjustly from time to time. I don’t think in every case you should ignore and turn the other cheek. Sometimes you should make it known that another person has annoyed you.
I get the impression that guys in our culture just want a sweet softly spoken wife who NEVER speaks up, no matter what she is put through. I would become psychotic if I had to bottle my feelings up in that way. Sometimes I just need to vent…and it gets me in trouble with hubby!
Re: Opinionated wives
Ajuba darling, it is perfectly possible to be assertive without being rude.
Re: Opinionated wives
^++!
But you are right, ajuba. It is not just our culture. Even in western countries, if a woman lets her anger show, she is a b*tch. If a man does it, he is just a man, and sometimes quite-a-man. Unfair, indeed.
Re: Opinionated wives
^True but our culture takes it to an extreme where even if a woman is being given a hard time by someone (esp family member or husband) and tries to speak up she's often labelled a 'trouble maker' or accused of not having decency.. To some people apparently being 'decent' equals being a doormat..
Ajuba, better u got all that out of ur system than let it all buid up and lead to resentment.. Hope u manage to work something out regarding ur MIL situation..
Re: Opinionated wives
^True but our culture takes it to an extreme where even if a woman is being given a hard time by someone (esp family member or husband) and tries to speak up she's often labelled a 'trouble maker' or accused of not having decency.. To some people apparently being 'decent' equals being a doormat..
Ajuba, better u got all that out of ur system than let it all buid up and lead to resentment.. Hope u manage to work something out regarding ur MIL situation..
oh wow you spoke my mind, standing up or actually speaking up when somebody is abusive or hurtful usually just gets the woman into more trouble for not adjusting....
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I agree with you guys, its so unfair that we are expected to be bottling up everything, and are only meant to be oozing maternal emotions, kindness, love, submission, and all that other sop, otherwise we’re labelled “too adavanced” or “sharp”. :khums: Its our right to speak up against something that is done wrong against us, and we should. Bottling it up just creates bitter feelings and resentment, and harms only yourself. Also, the worst thing about brushing it under the carpet is that the wrongdoers no doubt repeat their mistake. As they say, “zulum doh logon ki wajah se hota hai: zulum karne waala, aur zulum sehnay waala.” (“it takes two to commit wrong, the wrongdoer, and the one who suffers the wrong without objection.” - though i think i might have misquoted it a bit, but you get the gist of it…) :halo:
Re: Opinionated wives
I can relate to your feelings 
This was one of the things I felt after marriage I was not even allowed to say “uff” bus chup kar kay saho.
Even when I cried without saying a word I was subjected to silent treatment for weeks followed by shouts , verbal & emotional abuse and lectures on how bad of a wife I am and there can be no worse person than me on this earth.
Honestly , I don’t know how to deal with that kind of mentality. It is enough to drive you crazy and to make you a living dead.
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Pipe down woman.
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I have no problem speaking my mind and that's why most people don't like to mess with me or my family. I know many families do consider it rude but my parents raised us kids equally so we all were able to speak our mind without being rude. I honestly think pakistani culture needs to let go of these hindu teachings and believe in equality for men and women!!
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guys in our culture just want a sweet softly spoken wife who NEVER speaks up, no matter what she is put through.
It is dream of every man on this planet but hardly comes true . :)
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^ not mine.
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You can be opinionated without being rude...its not that hard. You can also make contradicting points without ruffling too many feathers.
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el topo and reha hit the nail on the head, be assertive while not being rude.
begum was too nice when we got married, and I had to help her stand up for herself
and now she is someone who you dont mess with, kind, sweet but strong and will not let anyone walk over her.
no issues with opinionated women, more power to them
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Woh Wife Hi Kia Jo Opinion Hi Na Dey.
It is better for him to buy a blow up doll if the husband does not like his wife to have opinion.
Re: Opinionated wives
Woh Wife Hi Kia Jo Opinion Hi Na Dey.
It is better for him to buy a blow up doll if the husband does not like his wife to have opinion.
fo sho :)