I accidentally taught my son nothing but English!!
he started full time daycare at age 1 and most of the time we spend together in evening is spent reading books (English only) watching cartoons or apps on iPad ( more English) or repeating things he learned in school like his nursery rhymes.
I thought Urdu would/should have come along naturally because his dad and I converse in Urdu in front of him and ofcourse we use Urdu when speaking to him too like “a jao” “kha lo” etc but for teaching purposes we only focused on eng.
now it’s embarrassing when his dadi or nano speak in Urdu and he doesn’t even reply to them because he doesn’t understand. Shouldn’t he have learned naturally just from being in the mixed environment?
he is almost 3.
not speaking the language is one thing and not understanding is yet another. most kids do NOT speak Urdu but do understand to a certain degree. it’s the hesitation on their part to speak a ‘foreign language’.
besides, he is too young…there is still plenty of time to teach him your language…start now! good luck.
Lol, my daughter is 7 and was in the similar situation till few weeks ago. Her Quran teacher mainly speaks Urdu and she is picking up pretty fast.
Don’t worry too much and don’t be hard on yourself. He is going to pickup in few weeks when the time is there, especially if you ever decided to visit Pakistan for few weeks, your son will catch up.
I’m not too bothered about my children not learning Urdu. Living in England, English is all they need to know. I say this as I see my SIL’s in Pak emphasising so much on the English language with their kids.
Now’a days most GrandParents & other relatives are educated enough to communicate in English, so there isn’t really that barrier there either.
And kids are very sharp, if you’re goin to fluently speak Urdu within the house, then they’re bound to pick up and understand the language anyway.
It’s never too late to start. You just have to be conscientious about speaking to him in Urdu in complete sentences, not just in these little phrases. And he will start responding to you too. Talk to him like you would your husband.
There are also tons of Urdu shows online for kids. Maybe try to get him interested in one. He’ll pick it up. But you just need to make an effort.
Well, my DH and I really messed up as none of our children speak Urdu, and they are the only ones in the ENTIRE khandaan who cannot speak the language.
For hubby , English is his first language. Grew up speaking English in the home with immigrant parents. He has mastered quite a bit of Urdu over the years, but it is hilarious.
Myself, Urdu/Punjabi spoken in house, but all sibs speak it with somewhat fluency. Back in the day, my father would put on the Indian movie VHS tapes with English subtitles, we picked up quite a bit from there. I am happy to be able to converse with elders / non English speaking folks etc in Urdu quite easily (or my version of it).
My children struggle to converse with the older generation. I never thought I would have this dilemma. In the beginning all of my children spoke Urdu quite fluently, but over the years more and more English crept in, until the Urdu was wiped out. I am facing rishta problems for my daughters, especially for those who are looking for ‘Urdu speaking’. I say upfront that they are unable to converse in Urdu, after which all interest is lost.
I have cousins whose wives are Arab. Their children speak Urdu (father), Arabic and French (mother), and English which they picked up.
It is not late for you at all, please, please speak in Urdu, especially if Urdu is your native language.
Languages are an asset I think. It helps to broaden your view on life. 3 is still quite young. Start conversing in Urdu with your son and encourage him to reply in Urdu.
I have a 4 year old niece and my sister used the one parent one language technique with her. One parent speaks exclusively in one language and the other in another language.
Since your son is going to daycare he will be using English anyway so you can concentrate on his Urdu without it affecting his English.
Ive heard that children can pick up many languages while growing up, via television, songs/books and ofcourse via conversation. So start talking to your kid in urdu and in order to make it easy you can easily throw in english words so he/she can comprehend and start picking up phrases…ho jaeyga aur aa jaeygi urdu no worries
I love speaking urdu with my kids or with anyone on the steet, but sadly my husband only speaks and few words here and there and doesn’t want me to converse with the girls in urdu, his stance is ‘oh they will be so confused when they start school FT’…but to that I say ‘chal hatt angraiz ki ullaad’
Kids under 5 years of age are believed to learn languages way easily than when they are older.So even if your kid is 3,it is not too late to start.
My 3 year old understands almost all the Urdu we speak…the husband and I talk in Urdu only but for some reason we drifted onto English when talking to her.I try my best to talk to her in Urdu but the husband talks to her in English.She is anything but confused…!
We searched for Urdu programming (there is a Pakistani version of Sesame street called Sim Sim Hamara.It is nice),but my kid was least interested.Got some Urdu books but she translates them all.It is like she has a google translator in her head.If we are at a park and I tell her ‘Chalo ghar chalain.Aap thak gay ho ab’…She will say ‘I don’t want to go home.I am not tired’… .
My parents visited last year and she picked up on lots of Urdu words when they were here.So I hope whenever she visits them back home and is around more people speaking Urdu,it will do her good.
Just keep talking to the kid in Urdu at home.
We have two cats as pets. When we got the first one our daughter was 3.5 or 4 years old. She had already been speaking Urdu fluently at home because we refused to speak anything else to her but as she started pre-school she was picking up more and more English. I decided to tell her that the kitten only understood Urdu and she needed to speak to him in Urdu only. It worked.
We also taught her that all the elders she meets don’t speak English (even though most did) so to be polite she needs to speak with them in Urdu. That worked too.
Once she started grade school she realized that Urdu could be used a a “Secret Code” to communicate with her desi friends. That turned into a “totally cool” thing for her. She still does this.
I do try to stick to Urdu when I speak with her and more often than not she replies in English. But there are times when we have “Urdu Only” days just like “Sing’n’Talk” days and “Speak in Opposites” days.
It is a challenge but the benefits are great enough for me to be up to it.
That’s great Muzna. I wish more parents are like that. I don’t see what’s the shame in teaching your kids how to speak, read and write in Urdu. It is a language just like any other and it will add to your kids’ intellect. My aunts kids, 3 and 4 yrs old, have been going to day care and don’t speak a word of Urdu. What many parents don’t realize is kids pick up English anyway once they start school or day care so isn’t it better that you teach your kid another language instead?
Fortunately, at least where I live, the age old imperial arrogance (or in some cases read colonial mentality) that learning English is enough to get on with life has been thoroughly outlawed. More and more efforts are being made to make kids naturally bilingual from a young age. there is no doubt that learning mastering different languages is a sign of intelligence, it builds confidence along with opening so many different doors of opportunity and the fact that through language your kid gets to learn whole bunch of things about a different civilization, culture, customs, history, people, arts and contemporary society of another country, in fact a whole continent, is a sign of great intellectual mind in making.
To me there’s no reason to make a child lingually handicapped at the age 8 or 10 or make him/her develop identity crises during teens years when all that could be prevented from such an early age. Not directly at any parent here but just saying.
I actually know few parents who very proudly say that " oh our kid does t speak a word of Urdu" I don’t see why they are so ashamed of Urdu. My son is 7 months old and we plan on teaching him urdu Inshallah
Tell them that Asia is a rising star, the economic giant of future. This is where all great minds will eventually gather. That might shut up those oh so up to date minds.
As Oscar Wilde said it, “people know price of everything but value of nothing”
My younger brother at 23 has picked up so much Urdu because we have some of cousins around him speak the language. He took an interest and he’s very fluent now. I wouldn’t give up. I think it’s never too late to learn a language.
good luck.
