Re: Only "one" child please
I used to think 1 child is enough, I would my heart & soul into his upbringing/education...etc.....and wondered if I'd be able to love a 2nd child as much as my son.....until my 2nd was born.What a life changer she has been!!! Alhumdulillah. Even though my son has his little bouts of jealousy which is normal, he already loves her so much and is so affectionate and excited to have a sibling. I think as they grow older it'd be great to have each other in their lives.
this is why the thoughts of adopting are so dominant in my mind these days.....
Muzna my advice to you would be start the process.
You go through so much with the process that you'll be able to make a concrete decision one way or another. Meeting w/ the social worker in itself is such an eye opener; I think you may be thinking about it now without all the facts. You'll learn so much about yourself, trust me.
Re: Only "one" child please
I have only one brother and I had wished I had more siblings--if it's in my kismet, i would like to have more than one child, i can think of alot more benefits (emotional) than drawbacks of more than one kid....
I can only feel sorry for those who think siblings are totally useless.............
Re: Only "one" child please
Don't be so quick to judge Sara - who are we to feel sorry for anyone?
I dont want to sound ungrateful and Allah mian knows I wouldn't give up a moment of my time with Ayman - but it was so different from what I imagined? Pre children we tend to think of all the positives - ie cuteness factor but in reality children cost allot and are constant work.
Its like marriage - pre shaadi we think of oh how I'll never get married and want to so badly and think of all the pretty clothes and the dawats and romance with hubby; but after the honeymoon reality sets in.
I'm not saying anyone who has 8 children is a nut but I am saying its not easy. And I want to have 3 ideally but with a Nanny and no have to work full time -- now its a choice of having three or dealing with the reality that after a long day at work I have to go home and tend to a whole new job.
Re: Only "one" child please
I believe in US's policy of "Do More" :)
I'm not saying anyone who has 8 children is a nut but I am saying its not easy. .
ok, if you wont say it,** I will!!** Anyone who has 8 children is a nut!!!! I almost ended up in the nuthouse meself lol and Ive only 3. I feel bad sometimes for the things that we cannot afford to give them ... but then we go on one of our camping weekends and for less than $40 we have the time of our lives. Nature, bugs, outside alllllll weekend, bbq food, playplayplay. Priceless. You cant have a better time if you spent hundreds.
Re: Only "one" child please
^ yaara I'm not talking money here; woh tho saab Allah mian key haath mey hai. Im talking time - and quality of time spent.
I dunno maybe I could change my mind in a couple of years.
Re: Only "one" child please
I have two siblings (borther and a sister) that I love to pieces.
I have two daughters that when they play together - I feel like I have given them the best gift - each other
**However - **I also have days where I feel like if I had one child I would give it my best instead of my 2nd best. (quality, time, attention, love).
I have two friends that have one child. Honestly they are not as frazzled and a nut case like me on most days. They actually sit down and enjoy their meals with their kids instead of chasing them down like I am.
Maybe my girls are younger but hopefully they will remember a sane calm mother and not someone that just kept running around.
Re: Only "one" child please
I would not be able to live as a single child, would feel so lonely.
A friend of mine is a single child of her parents, yea she might be 'laadli' and getting most of her wishes come true and so on but she says that she sooo wants a sibling.. just to share feelings with and have someone to talk to. So,siblings are a must!
Don't be so quick to judge Sara - who are we to feel sorry for anyone? I dont want to sound ungrateful and Allah mian knows I wouldn't give up a moment of my time with Ayman - but it was so different from what I imagined? Pre children we tend to think of all the positives - ie cuteness factor but in reality children cost allot and are constant work.
Its like marriage - pre shaadi we think of oh how I'll never get married and want to so badly and think of all the pretty clothes and the dawats and romance with hubby; but after the honeymoon reality sets in.
I'm not saying anyone who has 8 children is a nut but I am saying its not easy. And I want to have 3 ideally but with a Nanny and no have to work full time -- now its a choice of having three or dealing with the reality that after a long day at work I have to go home and tend to a whole new job.
Nahi yaar, i'm talking about point #3, in the first post. I'm not a parent but I know it's not easy at all, and if someone doesnt want more--they are perfectly within their right.
however, I do have a problem with the reason "siblings are not that important anymore." If they think a sibling is not important b/c they loved being an only child--then good for them. But if the reason for not believing siblings are important is b/c there may have been bad experiences--that's where I would feel sad for them.
Re: Only “one” child please
blurrbbb
what do you call a girl standing under your windo?
“misunderstanding”
Re: Only "one" child please
Most desi couples I know have 2 (that goes for parents' friends as well as family). I've always wanted 4 tho (inshAllah) and will defo look to adopt one if at all possible. There are apparently a lot of mixed-raced desi babies given up for adoption nowadays when the girl gets pregnant and obviously can't bring it up the way a non-Muslim single Mum usually can because of the 'shame' :(
Re: Only "one" child please
You're opening a whole other can of worms there.
BTW do you know of any such babies/places?