Hey, I was talking to a friend yesterday and we started walking about weddings as the wedding season is just around the corner.
I don’t really give much thought to these things as I’m not married nor getting married anytime soon. But I started thinking of how it would be when I got married. I really want to do it short and sweet. I’ve seen sikh, hindu and christian weddings, where they do the temple/church part in the morning and then reception at night.
Can that be applied to a Muslim Pakistani wedding, you think? Nikkah in the morning, walima later that very same day?
How would one go about the practical part of things? Serve lunch at the mosque and dinner at the walima?
What are your thoughts on a Nikkah/dholi/mehndi/mayoon/barat/walima-wedding vs a Nikkah/Walima-wedding, also how was your wedding and how would you have liked it to be? I know of my people who get pressured into having huge weddings, when all they want is a simple wedding “by the book”, some convince their parents, some don’t. Some also want a huge wedding, but have a simple wedding for different reasons.
If you were one of those who persuaded their parents to go from a huge wedding to a more simple wedding, how did you do that? How did you convince them?
Correct me if i am wrong, but i thought walima is to be done after the marriage is consummated?
If that's the case it's wouldnt be practical to have nikka in the morning, and walima the same day. I could be totally wrong though
Correct me if i am wrong, but i thought walima is to be done after the marriage is consummated?
If that's the case it's wouldnt be practical to have nikka in the morning, and walima the same day. I could be totally wrong though
The only requirement in Islam to be married is nikaah + walima. There is no concept of baraat or rukhsati, plus it is not fard to consummate on the wedding night. So YES, IAGW, it CAN and SHOULD be done, but you will probably get a lot of criticism for it based on our cultural "standards."
In our family... we've done our sister's wedding in continuously 4 days... i.e. ,
Friday: Mehndi ( it was not a big gathering .. just 20 , 25 ppls )
Saturday: Mayoun
Sunday : Nikkah + Reception
Monday = Valimah..
as we didn't want long gaps in between mehndi, mayoun , thn nikkah :)
i wanted a simple nikkah and ruksati from home and a simple valima; i tried hard and i lost the battle. it is not so easy to
convince your parents; over the years older people tend to develop a sense of responsibilty towards society; we have attended so many weddings how can we not invite falana and falani. and thats just one thing.
alot of lucky people do get their way but more often than not
culture will make you bow down.
yes ofcourse it can be done and thats what I want but my parents are not getting convinced, neither are my inlaws. So I'll have my way with my kid's wedding inshaAllah :D
In a Masjid..do Nikah.. and hold a big walima in the Masjid next day..yes Walima is usually after consumation of marriage. Barat is sick Hindu tradition that puts the burden on the girl's side, when there should be zero burden on the girl's side in marriage. We have people who go eat like pigs on barat and then complain about the food. So in a Masjid, nice Walima..segregated. Don't let a wedding become the cause of fitna for other boys/girls who only dress up for each other.
Thank you for all of your comments. It's sad that parents pressure their kids into these huge weddings and that is my biggest fear.
I think when the time comes, I will have no problem convincing my dad, my mom MIGHT be a problem, but my parents siblings and cousins will definitely be a problem. But I just LOVE the idea of a Nikkah and a Walima and at the end of the day, I'd rather please God then relatives.
I'd also rather put that money to good use, a house, a car, charity. When I see the amount of money people used on wedding these days, it saddens me. That money could be used for charity or something else, but to pay that kind of money to sit on a stage and feed people who are going to bad mouth you, is beyond me.
You know what I'd do? I'd do a small mehndi at home because I love the halla gulla, nikah in masjid and then a small valima. Minimal kharcha and lots of duas.
