obviously when your parents were seeking a rishta outside
they were looking for
good job
education
age
family sharafat
when looking for rishtas outside of family how and what parents should look for exept these..
in family we knows them for many years know the culture,traditions,values,job,education,habits,nature ,naiki sharafat,khandaan,age,what family members do,father job,ex marrige if any,diseases if any,financial status etc
but in outsides u dont know these and u cant just bluntly ask about all this so so how to ask or inquire,how to inquire about boy and his family etc that they wont mind inquiries..
and girls after rista or before rishta u must met,talk with the boy
so how to judge him ,his views,thoughts,habits,nature,sharaft etc?as u cant ask straightly and might he wont say truth just like this..
and things what u judge about your spouse or your parents about son in law how much went accurate after mariage..
what u thought about him he was just like this..nothing wrong came out after mariage
Re: only for those girls who r married outside of family (arranged marriage)
I would think you have to find some people you know and trust e.g. Friends, relatives who know them as well to give some references.
Any friends of yours with Sisters or brothers in colleges who may know the family, guy.
For me the must things are whether the family is generally respectable, how do people in you mohalla/city rate them.
also everything about the guy which you can find out.
the family set up. If joint family you should be prepared for all that it entails.
Things like their views on education, working. If You want to work after marriage does his sisters work? How many members of family. Who rules the roost?
There is always an element of uncertainty in arranged relations as no can give you a true picture unless you live with them. Also you have to be aware that other people may have thir own agendas, and the family itself is rarely forthcoming with the faults of their off springs.
Re: only for those girls who r married outside of family (arranged marriage)
in family we knows them for many years know the culture,traditions,values,job,education,habits,nature ,naiki sharafat,khandaan,age,what family members do,father job,ex marrige if any,diseases if any,financial status etc
but in outsides u dont know these and u cant just bluntly ask about all this so so how to ask or inquire,how to inquire about boy and his family etc that they wont mind inquiries..
and girls after rista or before rishta u must met,talk with the boy
so how to judge him ,his views,thoughts,habits,nature,sharaft etc?as u cant ask straightly and might he wont say truth just like this..
and things what u judge about your spouse or your parents about son in law how much went accurate after mariage..
what u thought about him he was just like this..nothing wrong came out after mariage
All this you can ask directly. No need to beat about the bush. They will be well aware that this is a contract for life so people will be asking questions.
Re: only for those girls who r married outside of family (arranged marriage)
meet him as much as u can and see how he usually behaves around his friends and family.... where and how he spends most of his free time now...and how is he going to change his routine once he is married ..... discuss and exchange ideas face to face, not via phone or text or email etc. ..... get some ideas about relationship issues from this forum and present him some scenarios and see if you can live by his theories ....
Re: only for those girls who r married outside of family (arranged marriage)
Well, what actually happens is that 50 suitable matches among the first 100 considered are rejected for reasons such as, kitchen is too small, the street is too narrow, his duty hours are too hectic, he has too many sisters, the elder brother is divorced etc etc and then there is hardly anyone left to consider, then the fifty first is taken and baat pakki.
Re: only for those girls who r married outside of family (arranged marriage)
well, if you guys are going outside family then make it at least 6 month process, where you both khandan meet several time. Ask common references, that usually work good in rishta settlement. give some time to larka larki too. once they both feel comfortable, you may proceed to next step.
