You dont know how they come across to guys or to families. There are people who are fantastic on their own and when things are going their way, but cant do so well in other settings.
PCG, I am sorry but I call BS on that argument, I lived on my own, in a new country and new city with no family, and even leaving behind the network I had built in undergrad, and had just a handful of desi friends, and in mid 90s I was able to meet enough women through common friends, family and even online that I never felt that there was a dearth of candidates.
so on 'the dont know where to go to meet people..its not a place that you go to, it is about building a network, meet people through people, build a network of people of similar cultural and educational background etc.
also, I keep going back to examples I have seen.. foir both guys and girls, living in the same city, going to the same uni, similar level of attractiveness, some have no problem finding anyone..and they did marry professional, decent looking guys or girls, others are still looking and give all the same reasons you just noted.
I am not shocked, what is shocking is why people in the same city and of same educational level have such different experiences.
There are many girls on GS who grew up here and are happily married, did they go for fat greasy faced high school diploma gas station attendants? … I dont think so