Salam all. I just wanted to start a discussion on the issue of people not marrying unless someone is the same-ie punjabi and a punjabi. I think there is enough division in the islamic world w/o this. Obviously marrying w/in religion is a big deal, and i can even understand that if ure desi its easier to marry desi. But I had a friend who liked a boy and the boy like her. But his parents said no b/c her family was Punjabi. That’s so sad 
I don’t see why it matters.
I think it's totally sad as well. A muslim should be able to marry another muslim regardless of race or culture.
Fret you are right. Unfortunately, marriages between Somalis and pakistanis only happen in the US.
Chaltahai-unfortunately, its not common in the US. Our parents are not that accepting.
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*Originally posted by 714: *
Chaltahai-unfortunately, its not common in the US. Our parents are not that accepting.
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True, but I suppose the next few generations of American muslims will have a different outlook on this.
In my view, certainly it is much easier for let’s say, a punjabi to marry a punjabi if the 2 people are brought up in a “punjabi” environment. However, it should be enough that the person shares the same religion. I think the buck should stop right there. The over-and-above can matter though. For me as a muslim, the gentleman must be muslim as well and if he is Pakistani (which will most likely end up to be the case) then great, and furthermore if he is punjabi, double great for me because I AM into my punjabi culture as well, and wouldn’t it seem weird if I’m doing bhangra all night long at a wedding and my hubby has no clue what’s going on?! Hehehehe! But on a serious note, bottomline is that in Islam, it’s important to marry a muslim notwithstanding race, color, or ethnicity. All else is secondary. 
its really sad. its not just punjabi- pujabi only,,, within punjabi it gets more coplex, rajput to rajput or at the most jatt, and no one else.
I suppose it will get better when our generation will make decsions for the kids.
there shouldnt be any reason why a muslim girl and guy not get married!
but every body has own level of racism I beleive, for example
I dont mind marrying any girl who is muslim, but I do prefer that she is pakistani or from a pakistani background. so she will be able to understand and share the treditions, culture and customs. so thats me only!
my parents would only prefer a mulsim, sunni, pakistani, punjabi, rajput or similar, from a good family. so things change when it comes down to parents. they may agree with me to marry anyother but will not be fully happy intially i guess.
I suppose it will change with time, as it has changed for some people!
pakistanis marry more close relatives and less mixing with other
groups as evedensed by thalasemia.
Most of the couples screened for B-thalassemia showed identical mutations that may be due to local marriage customs and the high frequency of marriages among close relatives
rvikz is there a similar sceanrio due to marrying within castes and subcastes? Not quite sure how that works
it seems like punjabis get stuck in the traditional bs more, or so thats what i've noticed most of the time with a very few .1% exceptions.
Salam!
So i put punjabi as an example b/c i am, but its all other places as well.
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In my view, certainly it is much easier for let's say, a punjabi to marry a punjabi if the 2 people are brought up in a "punjabi" environment. However, it should be enough that the person shares the same religion. I think the buck should stop right there. The over-and-above can matter though. For me as a muslim, the gentleman must be muslim as well and if he is Pakistani (which will most likely end up to be the case) then great, and furthermore if he is punjabi, double great for me because I AM into my punjabi culture as well, and wouldn't it seem weird if I'm doing bhangra all night long at a wedding and my hubby has no clue what's going on?! Hehehehe! But on a serious note, bottomline is that in Islam, it's important to marry a muslim notwithstanding race, color, or ethnicity. All else is secondary.
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Moona-I totally agree-and what's a wedding with no bhangra? lol, i understand it is much easier, and again i agree. Chances are my situation will be the same as urs. I have no problem with that. What is sad is that there are ppl who want to marry ppl of other backgrounds, and can't, or others who are like "bas, i only want this, i wont even consider anything else" know what i mean?
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I dont mind marrying any girl who is muslim, but I do prefer that she is pakistani or from a pakistani background. so she will be able to understand and share the treditions, culture and customs. so thats me only!
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Shak kills-i actually feel the way you do. Its not to say i wouldn't accept any other culture, etc. It just makes life easier when they share it. What makes me sad is the people who absolutely refuse to even accept or look at any other options.
coconut-:) hmm...i don't know, the cases i have seen have actually,been the other way around. So i guess it just depends on what you have seen/experienced.
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*Originally posted by Shak killS: *
its really sad. its not just punjabi- pujabi only,,, within punjabi it gets more coplex, rajput to rajput or at the most jatt, and no one else.
I suppose it will get better when our generation will make decsions for the kids.
there shouldnt be any reason why a muslim girl and guy not get married!
but every body has own level of racism I beleive, for example
I dont mind marrying any girl who is muslim, but I do prefer that she is pakistani or from a pakistani background. so she will be able to understand and share the treditions, culture and customs. so thats me only!
my parents would only prefer a mulsim, sunni, pakistani, punjabi, rajput or similar, from a good family. so things change when it comes down to parents. they may agree with me to marry anyother but will not be fully happy intially i guess.
I suppose it will change with time, as it has changed for some people!
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How does the "caste system" fit in Islam?
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*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
rvikz is there a similar sceanrio due to marrying within castes and subcastes? Not quite sure how that works
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in india there weremuch more mixing of people occured
I am surprised at this thread. My friend recently got married to a girl with a Punjabi Rajput Father and a Pashtun Mother from the Orakzai clan. I myself have Pushtun relatives and one of my uncles married a Sindhi lady. Perhaps being classified as a Syed helps, but in the environment where I grew up (Pakistan Army--both parents served) I saw many many cases of interprovincial marriages. I was also under the impression that Punjabi-Urdu speaking and to some extent Punjabi-Pushtun mariages were the norm now. Just my opinion.
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*Originally posted by 714: *
Shak kills-i actually feel the way you do. Its not to say i wouldn't accept any other culture, etc. It just makes life easier when they share it. What makes me sad is the people who absolutely refuse to even accept or look at any other options.
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true, may be we just dont want to make it too complex! well one shouldnt put a ful stop to anything. but we do!
if i will have to marry anyother race, they it will most likely to be spanish, arabic or greek!
but if i fall in love with someone, I dont think there will be any restriction to any race or relegion! at the end dil tou pagal hey na.
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*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
I think it's totally sad as well. A muslim should be able to marry another muslim regardless of race or culture.
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agreed
coco syed usually limit themselves within syed families.
I have never heard what you mentioned above 714. We got almost 4 chachiya in our family who are urdu speaking. Yeah they do understand punjabi but can't talk.
i wasn't talking abt speaking. A lot of punjabi ppl can't speak. Me for one. I was talking abt Punjabi background.
Shak-dil to paagal hai? definitely
I personally would have no problem with marrying anyone. Mulsim or not, as long as she makes good conversation, and we have a good understanding;)
As for prejudices, they exist everywhere. It devolves from level to level, so you have the following for example... Will only marry Mulsim, Pakistani, of a given province, of a given ethnicity, of a given area, of a given tribe, of given town, of a given family/clan, of given profession and background etc etc etc...
This is the case with all people, an Indian family I know is looking for a Rishta aswell, their choice... Indian (preferably Indian American), Punjabi, Hindu, Brahamin (preferably a Sharma I believe). They want to avoid marrying into a Gujrati family, and completely avoid Southern and Easten India.
So where not the only ones.
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*Originally posted by Different: *
How does the "caste system" fit in Islam?
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Caste system doesnt fit in to islam! its indo pak culture only. Tribes mentioned in islam as one's identity, but all are equal according to ISLAM.