I am basically in a one sided relationship right now, but the girl is the best i have ever met in my life, and understands how much i actually love her, and therefore returns the care and concern to me.. i just dont know how to convince her how much i will be able to do for her, because that is the only thing that bothers her, scared of yet another bad relationship in the family, and the interference of parents breaking relationships.. any ideas? suggestions?
It's very hard to trust a guy after he sits back and watches his parents destroy a relationship rather than stand up for the girl. I understand why the girl would be concerned and afraid after going through that in the past. All you can do is repeatedly tell her that you will stand up for her and be there for her when she needs you the most. It's really up to the girl to trust you. For her, it is taking a big risk considering she's had a bad experience in the past and doesn't want to go down the same route again. I think she needs to feel safe and secure in the fact that you won't do a "runner" when things get tough. I think that will only come with time. You could go to her parents and tell them of your intentions in order to show her that you are serious ... but then again I don't know if that is the route you would want to take. Give her time to really trust you ..... that's what I suggest. I'm telling you though, if you do succeed in getting her to trust you and if you then end up not standing up for her if your parents start interferring and tell you to get rid of her *after * you have promised her for months that you WILL be there for her .... god help you. :)
niz_b, on the one hand you say it is a one-sided relationship, on the other, you say she returns your concern and care. A bit of a contradiction, I think. Please clarify…
i believe there is a difference in caring some one and loving.
however if u really love the girl than u can do one thing.
offer two rakat namaz salat-ul-hajat and pray to Allah that u get her with all her goods and khair & save from bads.
hazrat Mohammed :saw: has taugth us to ask and pray even for broken lace of shoes. When a person pray Allah subhanahuta’ala do reward him with the best.
if u don’t beleive give it a try.
^Advice well-given.
Hmm...Actually, she's right. Parents do try their best to interfere and break relationships. BEFORE you guys get into anything serious, first find out what your relationship is with your parents and whether it is possible for you to convince them to marry you.....except ofcourse, if you guys are willing to run from your home and get married on your own. I don't think you would make that mistake if you're from a reputable family.
Do take my advice seriously, I'm speaking from my own experience and believe me, you don't wanna go through what I am going through now.....
Re: One-sided relationships
all i wish u is LUCK!
I think you are still too young to convince a girl that you can provide comfort, security and stability… unless you are in show business. Her concerns are valid. Its time for you to analyze your ‘one sided relationship’ and answer your own questions before you pop one to her. Its natural to have feelings for someone but its wise to rationalize things. Empty words are not going to convince her parents even if you mange to talk her into it.
Ok, having demoralized you and all…now I tell you what, try convincing me just for the sake of practice. Give me your hard facts..show me that you can bring the moon and the stars…I will see if I can help you with the lines. OK? :-)