One liners

Hangout GupShup Cafe
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  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
  • Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  • Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
  • I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
  • Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
  • Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  • Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
  • Remember half the people you know are below average.
  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set
  • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
  • The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
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Re: One liners

Some of these are truly LOL!

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Re: One liners

I like the first one.............and the spontaneous one is funny :)

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Re: One liners

** Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?**

very true :(

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Re: One liners

*Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. *

true

Full Time Masti - May 2013
Full Time Masti - May 2013
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Re: One liners

:rotfl:

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:slight_smile:
:blush: :smiley:

:slight_smile:

~~~Missing Someone~~~
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Re: One liners

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

:omg:

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Re: One liners

:rotfl:

nice ones gizzy :k:

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Re: One liners

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
:cb:

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Yep..! :cb:

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Re: One liners

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name

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Re: One liners

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”

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Re: One liners

this thread is nice.............:)..........I am too lazy to copy some of the things maybe tomorrow :)

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Re: One liners

lazy lazy lazy :mocking:

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Re: One liners

hey................I had a long day.........leave me alone :(

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Re: One liners

y what happened atleast tell me :@:

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Re: One liners

nope

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Re: One liners

tell meeeeeeeeeeee :mad: