Many people stop looking for work when the find a job.
He who hesitates is Boss.
Excuses are like asses, everyone got’em and they all stink.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
Re: One Liners
2B or not 2B?
I think it's a grade of pencil.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age
A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.A tax is a fine for doing well
Sit next to a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. Sit on a red-hot stove for a minute, it seems like an hour. That's relativity. (A. Einstein)
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you never realise wht u have until its gone.....
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@ All:
Hey thats a good one, Ill keep it in mind you decide.
:D
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A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
:k:
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hum do.. humaarey do…jub tak teesra na ho…
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He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Next time you wave, use all fingers.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Double your drive space, Delete Vista!
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
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alwayz remember u r unique:)…just like everyone else…
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NO one is listening until you make a mistake.
You cant have everything. Where would you put it?
I started out with nothing and I still have most of It.
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Nobody dies a virgin, life screws you anyway......
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I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
I was born nine months premature.
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
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If you think the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, maybe you are aiming a bit high.
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would have been interesting if you had come up with your own or new ones, been reading these ones in forwarded emails since 1994
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He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
A mystic is someone who wants to understand the universe, but is too lazy to study physics.
**If atheism is a religion, then health is a disease! **
**Moral indignation—jealousy with a halo. **
**Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. The answer is no. **
**What’s the difference between a fanatic and a zealot. **
A zealot can’t change his mind. A fanatic can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I used to have a handle on life , but it broke !
Ever stop to think and forget to start again ?
I don't suffer from insanity , I enjoy every minute of it !
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There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Actually, there are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t :p.
“My goal was to create the fastest run possible using whatever means the game would allow.”
“I’ve been planning to end at 1 hp for years now.”
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^^ Some people are only alive because its illegal to kill…
Make it idiot -proof..& someone will make a better idiot !
Friends help you move.
Real friends help you move bodies.
Few women admit their age.
Fewer men act it …
Where there is a will , I want to be in it .
Keep honking. I’m re-loading. ( my favourite…LOL… )
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Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
Just like you choose a babysitter or day care for them:D