**Tourist Resort **is a place where no one knows how unimportant you are at home.
**Name the 3 fastest means of communication?
**Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman!
Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either
An optimist: A man who gets married when he’s seventy-five and then looks for a house near a school.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other
Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
**Conference **: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power
**Conference Room **: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
**Experience **: The name men give to their mistakes.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
Father : A banker provided by nature
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
