When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in
the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the
papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained
bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not
gonorrhea.” Replied the widow, “I nursed him night and day so of
course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better
for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big
**** he always was.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
New Lingo for an Old Priest
There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he
said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”
Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who
had committed adultery would say instead that they had “fallen.”
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the
priest passed away at a ripe, old age.
A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the
town and seemed very concerned
“Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When
people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they’ve
fallen.”
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest
shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, “I don’t know what
you’re laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three
times this week!”
++++++++++++++
