My youngest is proving to be a really really difficult child for me, for last few weeks or so.
Anything n I mean ANYTHING can push her button n she cries non-stop.
She is 3 years old…and very bossy specially when it comes to her brothers. She gets upset veryyyy easily n then cries. And trust me, without exaggeration she cries for at least 40-50 minutes WITHOUT any stop.
Sometimes we don’t even know the reason. And we beg to her to tell what happened but she acts as if she didn’t hear wgat i asked.
She does it at least once in a day. But yesterday, it happened thrice…n in the end i had to give her a few smacks…but honestly it didn’t help either…I just did it out of frustration n had to leave the scene once again as she never stopped crying. Needless to say, I’ve a terrible headache since then.
I’ve used everything i knew of, …I’ve never bribed my kids to do something…but for her i even gave up on that rule…I give her hugs n kisses…offer chocolate and all the junk…play her favourite dvd…but she won’t pay attention to anything. its a continuous nerve shattering ‘reeeN-reeN’
This morning, she woke up n started crying…I kept asking what happened…tried everything to comfort her …but no. Funnily enough she got a bit busy with some toys but continued rona dhona with it. it was like a background music…oh but a horrible one.
In the end she just went to sleep again in my arms.
She is normally a very active child mashaAllah. laughs a lot n makes us laugh too. but the crying sessions are just not normal. one of her crying session started yesterday while in the car…after half an hour i felt like banging my car in someting.
strangely enough, whatever works AFTER an hour of crying does NOT work earlier. like once she stopped when her father picked her up in his arms…but he had done it earlier too…but had to leave her again as she won’t stop.
afia: I hope that she’s ok, InshaAllah - just wondering, have u taken her to a pediatrician?
we know someone who had the same experience, the child just started crying one day and wouldn’t stop no matter what…and it turned out that he was in pain physically due to something, but couldn’t describe it cuz he was too young…and it wasn’t anything obvious either, so the parents couldn’t figure it out themselves…i don’t remember what was wrong exactly, but everything was ok after treatment…
I agree with DM, sometimes the kids r in pain and cant explain...A visit to the dr is a must...Sometimes acidity(reflux) makes them very irratable...so make sure the dr checks that out....it can often be neglected...
if there is nothing wrong then move to the next step which is emotional needs
My 3 yr old is a high maintenance child too...what we can say High needs
...read some books or articles about high needs children, I'll post the websites a little bit later..but I have seen that children like these need schedule...they thrive much better on that...Enrolling her in some classes may help...Mine is getting better with those..:)
Do keep us Posted????
We have been in the situations like the one described by DM…I’m usually the first one to panick n run to the hospital. In this case I strongly feel its nothing physical. Its just like throwing a tantrum when you don’t get things your way. 80% of times it IS the case…but 20% of times we are clueless as to what triggered the crying session.
Maintaining a routine is a nice thing and I’m all for it. But there comes a tantrum in routine too. call it a ‘bonus’ for doing things in routine. hehe…
You know what, she goes to day care…from 8-15…I go there to pick her up …n thats just when she wakes up after her nap.
If I’m a bit early there…like around 14:35…I’d find her still in bed…I’ll take her to loo…dress her n everything…she keeps a face on…not crying but a very annoying look. …that day, her crying session begins exactly when we reach her brother’s school to pick 'em up. Either she’d refuse to come out of the car…or would insist k I carry her…or none of above but she’d cry nonetheless.
If I go to pick her around !4: 50 or so…she’s already up…dressed n all…n she is just ok until she spots me there. as soon as we have eye-contact, she has a face on!!! N then Itry to put her jacket/shoes on…n just then she would start off from screaming…n then an hour long crying…:sigh:
The only times she is happy at pick up time…is when I’m late like half an hour (in exceptional cases) by then it seems she has gotten back to senses after nap time.
Today was a good day in the sense k she didn’t cry except for once in morning…but in the end it had to happen. She cried herself to sleep.
Anyway, I’ll definitely take her to doc. next week InshaAllah. Lets see what he says.
I just hope that I don’t run out of patience before that.
Afia - :sigh:
Been there done that.
I know how frustrating it is with a whining and crying kid all the time, and I totally understand how you’re feeling and going through while one your kids non-stop cries and does REEN-REEN…
Abdullah was just like that when he was in that age, usually I tried hugging and kissing him, and ended up smacking instead. There’s nothing you can do. What I feel and have experienced its the AGE she is in.. Yeah blame everything to her age… Its just a phase which will pass. You just have to be patient with her. People used to tell me how horrible the “terrible 2” is and I keep on telling them, no its not the terrible two, its the terrible 3, i faced.
Well, in her case I guess, she gets the advantage of getting things done HER way because she’s the youngest and have brothers to look after her. They might end up fulfilling all her demands and she might end up utilizing the benfit of being the youngest.
I agree sometimes kids do that because they want attention. And sometiems we think that we give them full attention but from their point of view they arent getting any. This is what you can do, take 1 hr of your day for her. And that time should ONLY be for her, when she can feel that her mom is hers only. Tell your elder kids that its Zainab’s time. Play with her, sing with her.. let her know how much you love her and how much her each and other word mean for you.
Well, good luck…
May I just conclude by saying the MOST typical thing in Pakistan
Haey haey, meri bachi ko nazar lagi hooi hai, mirchain waar ke jalao
That’s such a terrible situation Afia….but it should pass.
Just my little advice would be to watch her diet. Try and include as many natural and fresh foods as possible. Avoid sugary and processed foods. This may be causing her terrible threes to worsen. I usually give a Rescue Remedy…which is made from certain flower essences to help calm restless fretful children (and adults). It may help smaller tantrums. You are in Germany…so you will find Bach Flower Rescue Remedy or other such alternatives there. Read about them cos there are many flower essences which can actually bring about the correct balance in personality disorders in adults as well as children. If possible go to a qualified practitioner. Otherwise do read about them…May help. And Good Luck. I give my 15 month old Rescue remedy in tablet forms when she gets hurt or experiences a tantrum. It usually does calm her down. And its absolutely natural without side effects.
I am going thru the same thing and hubby dear tells me that I spoiled our only child.
Sadaf: I spend like every evening only with him but he still does reen reen.
Sadaf: I spend like every evening only with him but he still does reen reen.
awwww. :(
to tell u the truth my son was also like that... but now that he's 4 yrs now he's a lot more samjhdaar.. but that phase was just a nightmere :(
well m not married neither i have any experience wid kids but by watching lil Devils (a show like nanny 911)....i have learnt tht usually parents arent aware tht the irritating habbits of children are due to their own behaviour.....if any1 of u has seen this show....the kids change as soon as parents change their behavior wid em....maybe she isnt getting enuff attention due to her younger bros....maybe u r very loving at times and not at all at others which is confusing her attitude...try to watch nanny 911 or little devils u will learn a lot of gr8 techniques to make ur life easier ....and yes i hope u r making it sure she is getting proper sleep n diet
Age 3 makes 2 seem like a joke. They all go through it. I remember our pediatrician asking whether Safia was having tantrums and crying. He said it was a normal developmental step at that age. And I saw the exact same behavior amongst Safia's playdates at that time. Thank God she's grown out of it now. Your daughter will also Inshallah be out of it soon. In the meantime, patience is required. Ignoring is sometimes necessary. With Safia I found she needed her schedule to be very predictable and routine. She needed alot of sleep, good meals at a certain time, alot of physical activity, lots of creative play/painting/playdo. It wasn't easy. Good luck to you.
please keep us updated as to what happens…
