Oldest Child Syndrome

[asimaan]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

ah well im probably one of those authoritative oldest child types :D
but part of the reason is because i feel i have this responsiblity to be the sort of leader for my siblings and look out for them when my parents can't
and the other part is that i enjoy the little authority i can lord over them :)

[SindSagar]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

@Dushwari

sindsagar, good topic.

being an eldest sisbling can be a blessing for many.
it gets to be a role of an example setter and also in the olf school way, to be able to be a friend and supportive shield for parents.
so the whole democracy talk, even if genuine, is not necessary because in fairness aware families, the birth order is not down-graded, even it has to be a younger sibling turning out to be more responsible.
it is all about making the right choices and being honest in everything that one does without being seflish.
best,
Dushwari

Thanks Dushwari…However in the Western societies there does not seem to be any of this preferential treatment for the Oldest Child partly because the norm around here is only two…when you only got two or less…then Each One is equally precious…

^pyari^sii^bachi^Re: Oldest Child Syndrome
I am the middle child and it’s not easy. ]

Yes and it makes us tougher…

[pinks
being the eldest means youv’e expereinced life a tad bit more then your siblings and hence at times, ]

Yes and the middle ones have experienced all …that is dished out by the Chosen One…

Thanks asimaan, legally_desi, Sabriya786, Niksik, aly-sam, MatineeSiren

[Sahar02
I am very much an oldest child and I do think that we have a certain style to us. However, I’m not sure that I understand your point completely…I’ll address it in parts.

Definitely, but that is because we’re the **best.**and always carrying a Chip on their shoulder

I’m not sure what you mean by this. I don’t think it connects with the arrogance. Is this a separate point about how they are always resentful? I do feel that oldest children often feel an over-inflated sense of familial responsibility and feel the need to take on everything to themselves,I have a few questions to ask all the Oldest Children that feel it is their God given right to carry around an Air of High and Mighty…:halo:[/color]

Yes, at times I think most of us do. But it’s not always there, and I think it depends on the context. It also relates to what I mentioned above, their sense that they are the only ones who are taking responsibility and have the necessary knowledge. I don’t know why they feel that way; they just do.I]Shouldn’t there be “*DEMOCRACY” in Each Family?What does that have to do with the oldest children?

Are Parents responsible for creating this attitude in their OLDEST Offspring? (or the OLDEST OFFBRING)…Definitely. I think they often listen to the oldest too much or they are themselves quite young when they have the child so they don’t completely know what they’re doing and the child doesn’t take them completely seriously as authority figures. I also think that in my case, I felt that I knew way more about life in America and growing up here than my parents did as immigrants, so I took on an air of authority. Feb 1st, 2008 09:54 ]

Sahar02…Thanks for the point by point analysis and responces…in essence what you are saying is true…us middle children…got to wake up and quite dreaming that someday WE can be the Oldest!**

[AMadrasteiaRe: Oldest Child Syndrome
I dont think oldest children are like that.

Im the oldest and I despise being oldest cause my brother used to get away with everything and I used to get blamed for it. ]

adrasteia…right you are kind proves my theory it is the Sons that can influence Mom & Pop and get away with transgressions.

[Mamaof3
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Mamaof3 your responce is unique…I mean your boys!
But Promise me That you WILL treat all three of your Sons EQUALLY:)

[tweety_pie]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

@asimaan

ah well im probably one of those authoritative oldest child types :D but part of the reason is because i feel i have this responsiblity to be the sort of leader for my siblings and look out for them when my parents can't and the other part is that i enjoy the little authority i can lord over them :)

lol tht is true, i'm also the oldest and I AM very dominating, this is very commob, but is not always the case. I have to say that the youngest get their way 2.

[starcity]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

1stly my parents dont give the boys that much preferencial treatment- we are all 4 treated more or less the same. The only thing being that we are all in different stages in our life and hence my parents need to respond to each differently.

As an oldest I guess I do have ‘I know it all’ attitude sometimes- however u have to remember the oldest often do have more experience and sometimes what they say should be taken into account.

Also being a female mum treats me like a friend and that means more responsibility- sometimes it looks like favouritism but in reality mum doesn’t really want the others to have to worry about certain things and as I’m the oldest and most mature she tells me:D

That is not to say that I dont exert my ‘eldest’ power on them at times:D, however in realty we are quite a gobby bunch:smack: and we can all stand up for our selves- so my power doesnt work that much… ah when they were younger and how I used to boss them about…

[S02]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

^ Very similar experience to mine.

[Sara516]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

I'm the spoiled brat :)

[Iconoclast]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

Oldest carries more responsibility than the younger ones and is always expected to do more for the family.

My oldest son does have bit of arrogance but then he is the one who is always looking after the younger ones.

[Kaka_MaNNa]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

i'm the oldest child in my family and i don't think i have a chip on my shoulder and i hope i'm right in saying i that i'm not arrogant. So maybe it's just the people you'v come across??

Ditto

[NaMaan]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

Yea eldest ones are DOMINATING … I am the youngest one and yea spoiled

and middle ones are just nuts

[SindSagar]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

@NaMaan

Yea eldest ones are DOMINATING … I am the youngest one and yea spoiled

and middle ones are just nuts

Nuts is far better than…No Nuts…:biggthumb

[mizzrani]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

I so agree wid u singsagar , my eldest sister can get away wid murder , she is parents absolute favourite . they turn a blind eye when it cums to her bt they have equal arguments too

my middle sister is like the angel , who never answers back has never done nefin bad

now the youngest - i am not spoilt bt i am a brat , i am the mouthiest bt yet also teh most intelligent one and the most samajhdaar my dad calls me his philosopher . ( if i spelt dt rite)

[SindSagar]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

I so agree wid u singsagar , my eldest sister can get away wid murder , she is parents absolute favourite . they turn a blind eye when it cums to her bt they have equal arguments too

my middle sister is like the angel , who never answers back has never done nefin bad

now the youngest - i am not spoilt bt i am a brat , i am the mouthiest bt yet also teh most intelligent one and the most samajhdaar my dad calls me his philosopher . ( if i spelt dt rite)

Thanks for the supporting stance.......in some ways Parents do influence their children's behavior.......and part of it comes from the Tribal Society we all belong to........blindly nominating the Oldest to be the heir, whether or not they are capable or not..........

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You get "A" in spelling dt 'philosopher' rite..............:)

[mizzrani]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

^ haha thanks :)

[amana]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

Oldest children are superior to our intellectually challenged siblings - that’s why we were put on this earth first

[SindSagar]

Re: Oldest Child Syndrome

@amana

Oldest children are superior to our intellectually challenged siblings - that’s why we were put on this earth first

Sounds more like Undhoun mein Kana Raja…