I have a friend who is 22 and she has an older sister who is 25. My friend has liked this guy for over 3 years and she really feels like they should get married soon. That guy is also well settled and he is the oldest son of his family so his parents r starting to bug him with the marriage talk.. but the problem is, my friend’s older sister is not married and my friend feels awkward telling her parents abt that guy knowing that her older sis should be getting married first. The sis seems to be not interested in getting married at all. There have been plenty of proposals but she keeps rejecting them. She has not met anyone that she may be interested in.. and Its starting to annoy my friend. My friend feels that by rejecting people and not giving ppl a chance, her sis is being really unreasonable and unknowingly, unfair to her. She has spoken to her sis many times and hinted her about this situation, but her sis just doesnt get it. My frd even takes her out and introduces her to some nice guys, hoping that her sister might take some interest in them but still nothing. She is starting to feel depressed now as that guy also keeps asking her to tell her parents. He cant even tell his family cuz if he did, his family would want to meet her family and she isnt ready to tell her family yet.. she really needs some advice. Is she being unreasonable by getting annoyed? Should she just go n tell her parents abt this guy and atleast get engaged until her sis gets married? What do u guys think?
Re: Older sister still not married..
oh pls. why do girls need to get married in age order. this isn't even an issue imo.
Our Stupid culture!
rishtey asmano mein bante hain. My cousin was in the same exact situation. :) Ayesha the eldest one and Uzma was 1 year younger then her.
A wonderful rishta came for Uzma but her father got stuck on the idea to get Ayesha married first. The guy side loved the khandan so they said they will do it with Ayesha. Shadi happened January 15 and she died on January 31 of the same year.
Rishta came for Ayesha originally.
Today Uzma is married with the same guy (i dont understand how sister can marry her brother in law- insanity) Ayesha is 6 ft under resting in peace. It was meant for Uzma to get married first not Ayesha.
Reason for sharing; your friend should try explaining to her parents if a similar situation occurs where they get stuck on getting the eldest one married. :)
May Allah guide your friend!
angel fairy didnt mean to get you disgusted etc. but thought to share it.
Re: Older sister still not married..
a sis can marry her bro in law...hes still non mahram to her...islamically it is allowed....even tho it is insane and i wud never do it....it is what it is...
thts why if a sis does hijab..she shud do it infront of her bro in law as well..
angelfairy,
Our culture people are full of log kiya kahiengay log kiya sochiengay. and these issues are issues because of this mentality.
i went through this situation. My sis is 4 years older then me and does not want to get married yet. Keep rejecting proposals. My now fiancee and I liked each other and faced this trouble. It depends on parents. Some parents are a little resistant to this idea, they think by getting younger one married first we might not be able to get older one married and my parents concern was what if my older sis get a complex and self esteem issue because her young sis getting married be4 her. I talked to my older sis, asked her permission. My sis also talked to my parents and said I am not ready for marriage and if she is then i dont mind.
Its gonna take some effort. I think getting engaged at least is a good idea.
Re: Older sister still not married..
My younger brother got married 2 yrs ago coz he found the girl and was all ready 4 gettin married, my parents had sum concerns earlier coz v elder siblings are still unmarried, but then v enlightened them that times have changed and they agreed. Now my mum is quite open 2 the idea of my younger sisters getting married as they are getting rishtay.
Re: Older sister still not married..
I think it's totally stupid to wait for the older to get married first.
The younger one has found someone so why should her chance of a good proposal be slided away?
I don't know about others, but I really think it makes sense to settle down once you found the one! You should not be made to wait for your elder siblings to settledown.
Re: Older sister still not married..
tell her not to put her life on hold cos of her sister, she should go ahead and tell her parents. who knows, they might really be happy that atleast one of them wants to get married.
Our Stupid culture!
rishtey asmano mein bante hain. My cousin was in the same exact situation. :) Ayesha the eldest one and Uzma was 1 year younger then her.
A wonderful rishta came for Uzma but her father got stuck on the idea to get Ayesha married first. The guy side loved the khandan so they said they will do it with Ayesha. Shadi happened January 15 and she died on January 31 of the same year.
Rishta came for Ayesha originally.
Today Uzma is married with the same guy (i dont understand how sister can marry her brother in law- insanity) Ayesha is 6 ft under resting in peace. It was meant for Uzma to get married first not Ayesha.
Reason for sharing; your friend should try explaining to her parents if a similar situation occurs where they get stuck on getting the eldest one married. :)
May Allah guide your friend!
angel fairy didnt mean to get you disgusted etc. but thought to share it.
wow =/. thats sad... :(. I hope the younger sis is happily married now.
Re: Older sister still not married..
thx guys for ur help. U guys said exactly wat I was telling my friend for the longest time.. she should tell her parents and if they dont feel comfortable with the idea of te younger daughter getting married first, then atleast get engaged with the guy so there is some sort of proper commitment. I will show her this thread and knock some sense into her. She just does not feel right talking to her parents but I think its time that she starts taking things into her own hands and stop worrying abt wat others would think.
Thanks again ya'll :)
Re: Older sister still not married..
They should get engaged and get married when they feel it's the right time, regardless of what the sister's situation is. It could be any time before she gets married, 1 year or 10 years, so there's no point delaying the marriage of the people who do want to get married if they are ready for it.
Re: Older sister still not married..
My sister got married before me...I didnt care one bit and no one said anything to me. Yes, I had aunties sit down and samjhakey tell me that I should get married and blah blah blah. They eventually stopped because I would laugh it off so well...they knew they werent getting to me. I didnt pay any attention to them...its my life and I will get married when I want and to who I want. And I did.
If you are truly happy for your sister, people will feel stupid even saying things to you.
your friend needs to talk to her parents.
i got married before my older sister, and she was happy for me. a few relatives hinted to her that she should be marrying first, but she was like i dont care,sazzie(lol)'s found someone,its her kismet bas etc.
sigh,sometimes our culture is so backwards.
Our Stupid culture!
rishtey asmano mein bante hain. My cousin was in the same exact situation. :) Ayesha the eldest one and Uzma was 1 year younger then her.
A wonderful rishta came for Uzma but her father got stuck on the idea to get Ayesha married first. The guy side loved the khandan so they said they will do it with Ayesha. Shadi happened January 15 and she died on January 31 of the same year.
Rishta came for Ayesha originally.
Today Uzma is married with the same guy (i dont understand how sister can marry her brother in law- insanity) Ayesha is 6 ft under resting in peace. It was meant for Uzma to get married first not Ayesha.
Reason for sharing; your friend should try explaining to her parents if a similar situation occurs where they get stuck on getting the eldest one married. :)
May Allah guide your friend!
angel fairy didnt mean to get you disgusted etc. but thought to share it.
Thats sad. But i wonder why u shared this incident in this context?! Doesnt make any sense. Don't tell me that the elder one died cuz the younger one was meant to marry the guy. Huh.
Anyway...,
Its wrong of u @ Angelfairy to expect your sister to marry when she is not ready. You should talk to your mother perhaps or your sister can do that on your behalf if you don't feel that comfortable.
Re: Older sister still not married..
haha the sameeeeeeeeee exact things at my place my sis is almost 25 dosnt wana get engaged/married or either shes not finding her match n i already have a guy since yearsss n im 22 so i spoke to my mom n shes said ya sure go ahead anytime u want well get u married hahaaha
wats the big deal? chill n ask the guy to come home n talk to ur parents!
desi ppl wid daughters arent picky..my mom says jab jisko acha lagey karlo haahha :D