What do you think about this news. I read it to day. This is from'The Dawn' to day's edition.
"A British MP, Ann Cryer, has claimed that a Pakistani family living in Bradford has employed private detectives, bounty hunters and hit men to seek out and kill their "once much- loved" daughter and her husband because she had refused to marry the man of her parents' choice.Labour MP Ann Cryer, local newspapers said, while participating in a short debate on rights of women in the House of Commons on Wednesday, spoke about the fate of Jack and Zena Briggs who had fallen in love and married.She told the house that the parents of Zena had promised to marry her to a first cousin in Pakistan, a young man she despised, regarded as arrogant, with no knowledge of English and who held women in contempt. The MP said that, to escape marriage with her Pakistani cousin, Zena decided to run away and marry her lover, Jack. "To this day a death sentence is hanging over them and through the years this otherwise decent Bradford Asian family have employed private detectives, bounty hunters and hit men to seek out their once much-loved daughter for the purpose of killing her and her husband," the MP added. Ann Cryer said she wondered whether there were still such families who were prepared to go to these lengths to force their daughters into such unsuitable marriages?"
I know your first objection would be about the reliabilty of the news and second would about the British MP Ann Cryer, that why she is interferring into this matter. This is another discussion and we can talk about that later on.
But lets assume that the above news is correct and accurate, lets forget about the that MP. Just concentrate on the contents of the news.
Do you think that parents are justified killing their own daughter because she did not want to marry a man whome she did not like and she thought is not a suitable for her (I am using very modest words for the man, although the news tells us more).
Or the second part of the story. Should the parent kill their beloved daughter if she marries to a man who is Christian but she likes him and they love each other.
I’ve heard about these so called "bounty hunters" . There was a story on a U.S. T.V show about it. The next day everyone at work expressed concern about the possibility of my death if I didn't marry my parents choice.
i think parents are more upset that the child doesn't take their advise and their "Naam/badnaami" not what the child actually does.
Again the kids have a choice.
Make their own decision and live with the results.
Decide to go by their parent's decision and live with the results.
I have also heard about this news. This is sad. I do not know when we will be able to get rid of this narrow mindedness.
Let the boy and girl decide about their future because they are the one who have to face the consequences in thier life.
Fatah
I am not sure why you asked me to comment on above news, I think any one who has read my last few posting should have known my response very well, but if this is not the case, then I should quit writting, because it means that I was unable to communicate my views in spite of all my efforts.
This is not a news for me, these thing are not rear in our society and every now & then you get these kind of news in the media. the only glamorous part of the story is, that it is happening in" WALAYAT."
I could only say this, "If Iwould have the legal and moral authority then I will hire another group of bounty hunter and hit men to take care of such parents before they could harm their childern esp. (daughters)".
By posting this news you are trying to divert the current discussion, by compareing apples and oranges. I think we were discussing the situation and the dilemma face by sensible people and not the insanes.
I am still waiting to get any response to my last posting.
aadmi !
I did not understand your point. All of your postings suggests that you are in favor of consideration of parents wishes when we should decide about our marraiges (even if the boys and girl are in love ). But now you are saying that you would kill the parents who want to kill their daughter. Is it a shift in your opinion ? or did I misunderstand you?
i think that as far as this situation is concerened , the families advise their children of what is right in their opinion , but not impose it on them . i would suggest that they should get married.
amin:
You got it right, yes I am "in favor of consideration of parents wishes when we should decide about our marriages (even if the boys and girl are in love)". But I am totally against of any kind of in humane attitude of parents, when it comes to marriage of their children's. I am also not in supports of any kind of emotional blackmailing of some parents on marriage issue. This is not any shift of my position on this issue. Whatever I have said before was in a different context. I still believe that parents consent is important, and I have said that " I think both option will be right but its impact will be different, or in other words getting married with out parents consent and participation is absolutely justifiable and a right one, on the other hand not getting married because of parents opposition is also a wise and right decision....! In view of my above comments." My whole discussion was on (IT'S IMPACT) on ones life and tought process, when you hear such shair
" Aak khalish ko hasylay umray rawaan rehnay diya
Jaan ker humnay onhay na mehrabaan rehnay diya"
Then one should think what kind of message someone is trying to Conway and why? And if you notice there is no force (jabbr)
What I am trying to say, be that one should not generalized this issue, in one or other way. And again the whole discussion of "LOVE and MARRIAGE."
I am sorry I could not respond to this site for a while.
For the last few days I was busy in another front and doing a JIHAD against the beaurocratic and Jageerdari mentality of some of the people who thinks that if they are in position, they can make us think and write, the way they think and write. My jihad against them is still going on and I want my other friends who havetheir conciousness intact, that they should write against this suprresion of freedom in the name of rules and regulations.
Lets come back to this perticular topic.
Aadmi
I enjoyed your comments. I should say that you think and write quite differently but not quite correctly.
First of all, we are mixing a the lots of thing here. We were not discussing ONLY the LOVE and Marriage here. WE are talking aboult the whole attitude of human relationship. and the importance of some factors such as money, family, religion, cast, culture and social diffrences on this interpersonal relationship.
About your comments about love and marraige.
I was unable to understand the shaere which you qouted but let me tell, I trhink that you never fall in "true love" with some body otherwise you would not say some thing like that. I am sorry but your concept about LOVE is not mature .
A love under the coating of rationalization is not a love at all.
fatah thanks for your comments, and let me admit that I am not correct all the time and I don't claim it either, (and I also make lots of mistakes in writing as well)
I really don't know what this "TRUE LOVE" is, I never claim that I ever had one, and you may be right that "my concept about LOVE is not mature." I think that there is always room for improvement. Let's forget about me and my concepts. I am quoting here your own words from a different thread, here it is,
"If you are in " true love" then go ahead don't ask any body, JUMP in this fire. Don't think twice and don't think about the result. The love is war in which there is no defeat. If you loss the battle or win it, You will win the war either way Let me quote you a very beautiful shere from a beautiful shaier Faiz ahmed Faiz, just to make you feelbetter.
Gur baazi ishq ki baazi he, jo chaho laga do der kesa
Gur jeet gaye to kiya kehna, hare bhi to baazi maat nahi"
Could you please explain me what you mean by 1)"don't think about the result.", 2)"The love is war in which there is no defeat." and "hare bhi to baazi maat nahi"... really! I think that's what I have being trying to say since the beginning.
And if it is not about true love then ......what is all this fuss about.
[This message has been edited by Aadmi (edited February 17, 1999).]
Aadmi
I did not write any thing over here because I think both you and me are repeating the same things. We both have points and reasons and we made it clear here. There is nothing to add on at this time.
I will wait for somebody else to write and give his or her opinion on this topic. I am wondering where are uicdoc, achtung and PG. Why they have gone into silence ?
[This message has been edited by Fatah (edited February 25, 1999).]
I didn't respond to this thread, because frankly speaking, I don't think I'm qualified to discuss the concept of "love" (at least not in the terms that this thread seems to be discussing it).
The socioeconomic differences. This is a big issue. In many of the recent pakistani dramas and indian movies, they are telling us that money doen’t make any difference. its old and conservative ideas. and the guy and the girl should marry.
Now the question is that what did ou prophet Mohammud SAW said about this topic. He said that you should first look for the faith of the girl, what kind of muslim is she? does she follow namaz roza etc. Second thing is that YOU SHOUL MARRY IN YOUR OWN CLASS. if you are not very well economically then you should marry in the lower class. If rich then marry in upper class. I HOPE ALL OF YOU SHOULd UNDERSTAND NOW. Third thing is that how pretty is that girl. Many people also say that shakal is not important. It’s wrong. I don’t mean that you ask for the prettiest girl in the world. But should be reasonable.
Answer to question number 4 that should they marry or not, ANSWER is NO. You are not supposed to do anything against the will of your parents. There are exceptions in some cases where its a matter of religion.
Why I am against this kind of love?? I explained it in another thread
and now i am copying it here.
Hi everybody,
Love?????????????? Big Question.
Usually when people say are you in love? that means love with a
girl..... But if we jsut look at the love then you can love your family,
you can love your country, you friends etc.............. But as
evreybody is talking about the other love, so I would reply to that.
Actually, I am against that kind of love. I am against this thing
that you go in streets and pick a girl and say "I love you, you love
me, lets go and marry". Thats wrong. I agree with the point of Khalifa
sahib "Thoray arsay may love ka bukhar utar jai ga" I don't
want to insult anybody, but I would say that atleast in this North
American and European Society, all love is really sexual attraction.
So, I would advise girls that don't believe guys when they say I love
you. Flirt........My point is totally proven by the statistics. Do you
people know whats the divorce rate of US????? Its 50%. Imagine
every second marriage ending up in a divorce. And the divorce rate
in UK is 40%. Beside many many other reasons, one of the reason
of low divorce rates in east is that they don't just pick the girls from
streets and after some time throw them away.
All guys and girls, be sensible. Life is not of 1 or 2 years that you
can just laugh and play whenever you meet. You have to stay
together for the whole life and as khalifa said, love ka bukhar utar jai
ga.
Watch less indain movies .............
KHUDA HAFIZ