Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-oldsaid, "The
best thing that could happen to me would just to beable to have a good pee. I
stand there for twenty minutes, andit dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and
over again."The 85 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to
me isif I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind oflaxative I
can get my hands on and it’s still a problem."Then the 90 year-old said,
“That’s not my problem. Every morningat 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long
pee. At 6:30 am sharp I havea great bowel movement. The best thing that could
happen to mewould be if I could wake up before 7:00 am.”
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation whenone of the men asked
the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinicyou went to last month?”
“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest
psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc.It was great.”
"That’s great! And what was the name of the clinic?"Fred went blank.
He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember.Then a smile broke across his face
and he asked, “What do you callthat flower with the long stem and
thorns?”“You mean a rose?”"Yes, that’s it!"He turned to
his wife, “Rose, what was the name of that memoryclinic?”
Lou goes to the doctor’s office complaining of not feeling well.The doctor runs
some test on him and in a few minutes comes backin. The doctor says, “Lou,
sit down. I’ve got some bad news.You don’t have much time to live.” Lou
is obviously upset aboutthis, but asks, "How much longer do I have
doc?"The doctor says, "10."Lou says, "10 what? 10
weeks…10 months…10 years?"The doctor replies, “9…8…7…”