Re: Ok, who's next?
Hence I get a veto on who my parents pick. The idea is my parents will pre-screen good candidates, but I get to decide whether to marry one they suggest, or get them to go find me another person instead.
Re: Ok, who's next?
Maddy, don't you think it's a bit downgrading of a process. If you are the one making the ultimate choice, why not just go find one on your own? Why degrade the girls and your parents?
Re: Ok, who's next?
i soooooo agree with mad scientist.....i'm sure he'll be rewarded for that InshaAllah!!!
Re: Ok, who’s next?
i’ll say it again.. I suspect Fayz is next 
Re: Ok, who’s next?
Why is it degrading to anyone?
My parents have a list of qualities they want in the person I marry, and want me to only consider girls who they believe have those qualities.
So they identify a girl - a girl whos parents consider that I have the qualities they consider important in a son-in-law.
Then the girl and I meet each other, and we decide independently whether or not we see a problem in being married. We then independently either agree or veto each other.
There is nothing degrading in a system that ensure that only people definately meeting the parents’ standards are considered as possible spouses.
Re: Ok, who's next?
How long do you date the girl that your mom serves up?
Re: Ok, who's next?
You know, I used to be against arranged marriages when I first heard of them. I have had 2 love marriages that worked for me.
But I have met arranged marriages that seem to be perfect because the parents involved know their child. And, here I am confessing, my husband is arranging for my daughter to meet some guys to maybe set something up for later if she agrees and they agree and I don't know barely anything about how this works so I am along for the ride right now, don't bash me!!! (she's 16 and I don't want her to marry before 20, so now it's more of a tentative welllllllllll, maybe kinda thing).
If Mad_Scientist has faith in his parents that they will chose the right person, then he has what it takes to make it work as opposed to someone that inside is opposed to it but doesn't want to hurt their family and goes through with it, but has resentment. It all depends on the mentality of the people who are doing the chosing and the mentality of the people who are being put together.
You shouldn't be bashing his choice to do this, it is his life and his choice.
Re: Ok, who's next?
MS if you were going to just marry the girl your parents chose for you out of a sense of duty and respect that I could still understand, but if you still plan to go one on one with her to see if you are compatible or not then u might aswell be choosing the girls yourself too. No?
Re: Ok, who's next?
Maddy, why don't your parents marry the girl, that way they can be happier.
Re: Ok, who's next?
MS wants his mom to do the legwork and then he can reject it (her) should he choose, that's what it boils down too.
Re: Ok, who’s next?
You don’t date before agreeing to marry. It’s one meeting and them you make a commitment.
The idea is that the only girls I should consider are girls who my parents already feel are the kind they want me to marry (and similarly for the girls’ parents attitude to me). Beyond that, the decision to marry is up to the girl and I both. The idea is that the initial meeting is intended to see if there is anything instantly that I don’t like about the girl or the girl doesn’t like about me (yes I will be wearing socks! 
)
Case in point is a distant relative of mine. Successful investment banker, late 20s , very eligable, his parents foudn lots of girls who were just what they wanted, but the guy ended up getting rejected by all but 1 girl due to being near 50% bald.
Re: Ok, who’s next?
True. Similarly when I have say, a daughter, I want to do the legwork and find a guy then she can reject it if she likes. Then I’ll just go and find another guy. Likewise for any sons I may have, except I’d be finding them a girl.
It’s a tradition that’s served my family well over centuries, that I’m proud of, and which I intend to keep going.
Re: Ok, who’s next?
I’m sure it’s taking a lot of willpower to resist the lure of the lovely ladies who are all beckoning for your call.
Re: Ok, who’s next?
Or if they’re gay you can find search out a fancy boy for your son or a solid girl for your daughter.
Re: Ok, who’s next?
exactly.
I dont know for how long can I hold my fort :-/ exhausted all means to get more time but …
Re: Ok, who's next?
Saby!
Hahahahahahahahahhahahhahahaha!
Re: Ok, who’s next?
PCG, dont you dare enjoy my misery. Sometimes parents can be so stubborn!
Re: Ok, who's next?
it sure is not gonna be me. i told that masoom pathan last week to leave me fkin alone. i dont know why but i did. oh relationships can be too demanding. i am a simlple girl.