yar jab engagement baat kiyay baghair kar li hai,toa ab baat kar kay kiya karna hai. sabrun bachi sabrun. dont tell me tumhay compateebeeleety issues ka ab khayal aa raha hai.
Kaleem & Shikra -- I agree that Islam might not allow talk at times; but she seems to want to plan for the wedding, and perhaps even for the marriage (where to live, what kind of furniture to get, little things like that that might make a difference).
Maybe this thread should be moved to religion?
Are there Quranic verses and/or Hadith that suggest that talk is forbidden in many circumstances?
i thought it was ok (islamically) for the 2 to meet with a chaperone present.... or is that just a one tiem thing.. for the initial meet?
No. YOU’ve gotta be kidding ME. Just because people do wrong things, that majority doing the wrong things does NOT make the things “allowed”. Listening to Music is not allowed (where instruments are involed except a few i.e. Daphli [arabic]) but do people stop? NO. Selling/buying/drinking/carrying/anythong to do with liquor is not permitted but do people stop doing it? Nope. Just because a lot of people in the Islamic republic of Pakistan hang out at night with hands in hands, does that make it okay just because the majority is doing it? No. But let’s not get off topic, let me just give you a reference and I am not trying to make any fun of you or sound mean, but you should really invest some time reading Ahadees. You’d be surprised how many things are not okay to be done but we all do it anyway, I am no saint either.
I am not gonna “bore” you with a long cut-paste but I’ll just list some points and give you the reference and you can study it yourself. You’ll be surprised. That source also includes 2 ayaas from Quran and that should be enough to convince you.
**It is permissible for a man to speak to a non-mahram woman, subject to important guidelines and conditions, the purpose of which is to prevent fitnah and sin. These conditions include :
1- That it is not possible to speak to her through one of her mahrams or through a woman who is his mahram.
2- That should be done without being alone with her (khulwah).
3- That should not go beyond permissible topics.
4- There should be no fitnah (temptation). If his desire is stirred by talking to her or if he starts to enjoy it, then it is haraam.
5- The woman should not speak in a soft manner,
6- The woman should be wearing full hijaab and be modest, or he should speak to her from behind a door. It is better if they speak on the phone, and even better if they communicate via letters or e-mail, for example.
7- That should not go beyond what is necessary.
**
Sahar Same reference goes for you as it goes for PCG.
Khawateen You are right, that’s one of the conditions written above.
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*Originally posted by M: *
Shikra I didnt disagree entirely with what you or Kaleem wrote. And yes there is a difference between something necessary and fazool talk.
Seriously though how many people are this strict in following islam, especially if their gonna be spending 5K on a lengha. And remember these rules dont just apply to engaged couples but for all gender relations.
[/QUOTE]
You are right. It applies to both genders, married or non-married, engaged or non-engaged etc.
From Islamic point of view its not but in our society its not considered that bad a thing. And then non of us is a perfect muslim so if your family allows it I dont think its such a bad thing.