We had told our daughter that there is no Santa. We are pretty up front with her on most of these things. She usually doesn’t argue and accepts things. Though the issue is, she pretty out spoken about it and at her school she tells off everyone that there is no Santa. I am pretty sure she got into arguments with her friends. I have tried to explain to her that her friends don’t know it yet cos they are not a ‘big kid’ like her.
Last week she lost her first baby tooth. She was excited about the tooth fairy giving her money. We told her there is no tooth fairy, but here is a dime to put in her buggy bank and that we give Sadqa to poor people instead. She accepted that rather well.
I wanted to know how other parents are handling this. I know some desi, even Pakistani parents who bring home the Christmas tree and I have heard of Eid Tree traditions.
If you live in the west then santa claus and the tooth fairy are a way of life, those things are HUGE here. And I am an advocate of granting some magic to the childhood of my children. There is nothing Islamically wrong with it, I teach them nothing against Islaam yet I am able to give them the magic of santa and the tooth fairy to make their childhood more special.
Hard reality can come later when they are more able to understand and deal with it....but for now, a bit of magic is a lovely thing.
My daughter thinks that Santa just doesn’t visit muslim homes, no issues there. No conflicts in school either. She doesn’t know if he’s real or not because she saw the Polar Express and it was a fantastic movie.
She hasn’t broken a tooth yet but the other day she told me that she doesn’t think fairies are real so mom, make sure you put what I want under my pillow .
I don’t want her to think what other people do is wrong. She’s too young to understand her religious comparisons. But I can tell her what we do and do not do as muslims.
Milly, have you ever read the "Dear Virginia" letter written by "santa" to a real child who wrote a real letter to santa? What a lovely thing that is!!! and basically what it says is that "santa" DOES live...in the hearts of those who love. Santa Claus is as real as the love between a parent and a child....thats real enough for me :)
Milly, have you ever read the "Dear Virginia" letter written by "santa" to a real child who wrote a real letter to santa? What a lovely thing that is!!! and basically what it says is that "santa" DOES live...in the hearts of those who love. Santa Claus is as real as the love between a parent and a child....thats real enough for me :)
I have never ever discouraged the children to not believe in Santa, its not my job, we actually wrote letters to Santa as part of a literacy lesson, I didnt send them anywhere though, but they were ok with that. Im just saying, as someone who doesnt believe in Santa, it was difficult having to be as excited as the children were. What I dont get about my kids is that they lack real imagine skills, yet believe in Santa...I don't get it.
Milly, you did the right thing for the kids...I know it can be really hard sometimes to share the excitement lol!!
As far as imagination skills, the little ones find it pretty easy I think to understand the story of Santa and tooth fairy etc - they are told the stories and its a very exciting, magical thing for them. But when it comes to creative skills and imagination play, they have to figure out and create completely on their own - its a much tougher thing to do I think.
ahmadjee bhai jaan, have you seen those kids who don’t laugh much on anything and can’t figure out if the other kid is making a joke/fun of them? the kids who are not much into disney movies 'cause guess what “'mermaid don’t fudging exist!” …well that’s what happens when you don’t lie to your kids a little and let them live in the fantasy a little. You don’t want your kids to be uptight nerdy nerds or do you?
santas and tooth fairies are just some things to tickle kids’ imagination. You have any idea number of stories I dug up when I was kid where poor farmer’s son gets to get the princess after he rescued her from zaalim wizard? and look at me, how shaandar I turned out to be. so there. :k:
Niksik, actually Misbah also thought that Santa doesn't visit 'Urdu people'. She said it a few times and I let it go but when she asked me as a question, rather than a statement, I had to come clean.
M3, we all raise our kids based on what we feel is right, either through what we learned by observation of others' parenting skills or our own childhood experience. Sometimes just with our gut feeling. Maybe you were raised with the concept of Santa and you enjoyed it and you don't want to deny that to your kids. Fair enough. My parents, especially my father, didn't shelter us at all. He never exaggerated when he praised us nor was he a miser in his compliments. All his conversations were truthful and honest. And while I know I can never be like him, I can at least give it a try. I want Misbah to know that when I say everything will be ok, it will be. When I say there is a tiger on the other side of the wall, there really is one.
Funny thing, I know a Pakistani Auntie who has not told her grown up children (30+) that 14th of August is not her real birthday and that she actually doesn't know her real one. Fearing the emotional scars. I am sure she made that up when they were young so they don't feel so "different" and later stuck with it. I can totally understand where she is coming from but I wouldn't do the same.
Oh and I don't think Santa is the only window to imagination. Misbah the other day picked up my 'Thee cups of Tea' book and just by looking at the book cover started making up a story, along the lines "There were three sisters and they were very poor, their Dad didn't have a car and they had to walk all over the hills to go to school ..." She literally went on for fifteen minutes. It was quiet amazing.
Roman Bhaijaan, are you afraid that if you don't tell your kids about Santa, they will become nerds? Do you really think it's that simple? I don't. Just like when a see a suicide bomber, I don't say 'Damn that forced potty training'.
Yes you are right ... a child will never be scarred for lack of santa! Imagination is important - it can be Santa or your own creativity that feeds the imagination of your children...
Kudos about the 3 cups of tea book!!! It is my favorite book :) and I am still trying to get together a plan with my boys to gather enough donations to build an entire school!
Imagination is important for a child's sanity. My girls are into Disney princesses and all that color and pizzazz. Who am I kidding, even I still love that stuff :D
.