very true, i think asians get too much into planning the whole first night, u have so many emotions in ur mind after ur rukhsati that in the end this is one of the last things u really want to do…most things that u have in ur mind for ur wedding night dont go to plan due to the hussle and bussle (lol - wrong spelling i know) for asian weddings. For us it wasnt even a question of doing it, we just wanted to enjoy our wedding day and relax for the walima and spend time with our families as one big unit. there are times for things like that later! some ppl who have arranged marriage are pressured into doing it and poor girls dont even emotionally know there husband, we girls are lucky.