Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
Congratulations Inspiron, that's great to hear mA :) It's early stages right now so its perfectly normal to feel panicky but just take things slowly and get to know him and InshaAllah you'll soon get used to the idea. I felt exactly the same as you did but as time has passed, I have become more comfortable with everything. Just make sure you communicate with him clearly so that you can establish a comfort level because at the end of the day, you will be spending the rest of your life with him. Best of luck with everything..
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
**Its very normal when faced with “Commitment” to totally freak out…in fact if you weren’t THEN you would be a weirdo
Anyways there is NO RUSH…take it easy , get to know him , look for compatibility , language is a minor hurdle and not a reason to reject a potential rishta…see how this person fits in with your future plans for yourself , your career and within your family and vice versa. Also do an Isthikhara to ask God to help guide you to the right decision…
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
Aww inspiron, i can so relate with u as i went thru something similiar very recently and i freaked out cuz it was my very first rishta and it seemed all too quick to me. I don't know if this was cuz i had 1-2 reservations abt the rishta, maybe it happens to evryone even if evrything seems great cuz after all there is only that much u can tell about a person from few interactions. I believe this rishta process is such that u have to always take a leap of faith and step ahead unless something seems really odd.
You are getting the chance to know him better so you should make good use of it.
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
OOoh congratulations!!!! Just take it easy and the first step will be to reply to the email woman! God knows what the guy is thinking! haha i'm joking but seriously just keep calm and definately take the chance to get to know him as well as you can!! Inshallah everything will work out for the best! :)
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
Thanks everyone for your kind words and duas!!! I feel so much better now that I am normal and not a weirdo and I have emailed him back.
I also feel reassured that the language thing im probably making a bigger deal in my head then it actually is!
Ciannamon- sorry i think you may have misunderstood me. I feel bad within myself that my urdu isnt good, i dont want to speak english i want to speak urdu with him i love urdu as a language but i just wish mine was better and i just think in english and it automatically comes out esp when im emotional or something!
I just hope we can read a place where we can communicate with ease and language isnt an issue.
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
ahh congrats girl! I'm in the same boat as you esp with the weird feeling that I can do better since I'm fairly young and this is the first real real rishta that hasn't been shut down immediately (I feel horrible for vocalizing that)...gooooood luck! iA it works out for you! :)
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
Aww sweetheart! I went through this thing as well when my rishta got pakka. I had a mixture of emotions, confusions, 'what-ifs',weird attitude, mood swings .. all that you can think of. I was confused completely. My family had said yes, his had said yes..it was on me. I went for Istikhara which initially confused me even more but by the end i got a feeling that is inexplaianable. Just have faith in God.
My weird swings did not end just right there. After my engagement as well, I used to have a flow of emotions of whether i took the right decision or not, if he is actually the one. etc. I even messed up with him some times on these things. But he always kept his cool and balance. I even felt insecure as well. Anyway, i think i myself messed up things due to my insecurities and worries. Just recently, i locked up everything going on in my mind and now i see how Masha Allah i am super lucky for the guy i have. He has every thing needed from fun to education to maturity to seriousness to honesty everything. I had been blocking it all out myself. Now just recently i put it all on God and i am soo glad for doing it. So relieved, so satisfied and happy :) I am seeing beyond the unknown fears i had.
So dont worry if you are not excited. I wasnt either. Dont worry if you have fears if he is the one or not. If it is going that way, Allah wants it to happen and which is why it is paving that way. Trust Him completely.Respond to him politely and get to know him better. Then decide. Just give it some time, i am sure it will all work out. Plus, our expectations of going on cloud#9 as soon as we get committed are wrong. Nothing like that happens in arranged setups, it takes its time to bloom.
In my scenario, i learnt i was the insensible one. I actually was messing things up myself.. thiongs that God had put right in a perfect plate for me in every way, Masha Allah. Just try to view things from a different perspective now and let it be all on God and how He wills it :)
Re: Now that a rishta has finally said yes - i feel terrified!
ur not being weird! God has planted an alarm in all of us and it goes off when we're in trouble, so if you're feeling strange, confront it,think about what's bothering u (is it just the england-pakistan thing or more?) and sort it out
dont ever forget istikhara!
best of luck hon, any guy would be lucky to hav u :)
