Re: Not the usual in-laws issue
The clues you are giving are very vague. The phrase "he does not fit the stereotypically desired desi husband role" needs clarification. What is a "stereotypically desired desi husband role"?
She wants to have a civil relationship with her family. That means she likes her family and feelings must be mutual. So why is her family rejecting him. Do they see her blinded by love and unable to see her husband's shortcomings? Or there are other issues e.g., inheritence??
It seems she is double-minded. It seems she is giving second thoughts to her love-marriage decision.
He is either very cunning and playing a wait-and-see game or is a weak person. An overall gentleman equals "weak person" in a marriage. He needs to take charge of the situation. If he does not, he will loose her love and respect very soon.