A few days back I met a person whom I have loved right from the begining…just as if she was made for me…but for many reasons I couldnt make it to her.
It all started when I was studying in 7th grade. Just to give you some background, I have been living in Lahore for long…did my graduation from there and then moved out to US for higher education. well, coming back to the original thread, I was in seventh grade when after summer vaccations, I saw her in my class. She was there as our science replacement teacher, since our older teacher had left school that year. It was really a kind of first sight love! well, let me just not call it love…because it might sound strange to you guys, but I didnt had any sense of " what love is" at that time. but it was a strange feeling, and I am sure it was love.
This hard crush of mine for her really changed my whole academic life. I started participating in more academic avtivities like debates, since she was our debates coordinator. and this way I could manage to get some extra time to spend with her. But, at the same time I was losing my concentration in studies, since I normally spent most of my time thinking about her. She used to be in my mind all the time..no matter how hard I try to forget her.
My best buddy Ali, only he knew about my feelings for her. I had asked him not to disclose that to anyone…but for some reasons he couldnt keep that hidden from one of my other friend Saira. and thats how the freindship between me and Saira came to an end. But, I wasnt really much concerned about losing Saira…I was more concerned to be prominant in the eyes of my teacher.
Time passed by like that, I was now the most ‘nerd’ student in my class, although I always hated to be one…but for her I did that too. After the finals of grade 7th we had a 4 weeks break. I was quite upset about these vacations because now I wouldnt be able to see her for 4 weeks. Those 4 weeks really went tough on me…but I was very much happy to know that she was going to be our Class Teacher for next grade. well, after the break when school resumed I heard a real shocking news…Ali told me that Miss Afshan is now married. I was so furious on getting this news…it was like as if she has committed a crime…like she has betrayed me or something. But, what could I do…nothing. The only thing I could think about was to show even more of my talent in studies, get more closer to her and free her from her misfit hubby. But during all that time I couldnt build enough courage to tell her about my feelings…till the time she left the school…Her hubby got some job in US and they moved to US.
I guess this was one of the reasons why I was very much desparate to come to US. For all the past so many years I have been thinking about her…hoping to see her again some day. and now almost after 14 yrs I saw her in my town. She is still so adorable as she was during my school days. She didnt take a minute to recognize me…and this really filled my heart with joy. This feeling of joy didnt last long, when she introduced me to her 2 children (well grown ups) and her hubby.
That moment was like end of my life…I felt as if my heart has stopped pulsing…I couldnt hear anything, couldnt see anything…my eyes were full of tears…All I could mutter was “GoodBye”. After that I think all doors of life have been closed on me. I dont have any way to escape out. I am soooooooo doooomed!
All the characters used in this story are fictional.
[This message has been edited by pumpkin (edited December 06, 2001).]