Ive had my detail scan, everything mashallah ok. so i should be feeling delighted/over the moon, sobbing at pics of scans…or getting all crazy over little bibs or baby dresses in shops..im not.
i feel odd. i dont feel motherly, i dnt feel like i need to lookn after mysefl i dont feel odd or overwhelmed at all, people keep asking me if i feel it kick, and if i say i can/cant…they look bemused that im not jumping for joy…and i do feel weird. i dnt feel overjoyed, i know kids are a blessing, i should be grateful, i know all this. so why dont i FEEL anything. i cant even say my baby…im always refering to it as it or the scan…or if anyone asks is baby ok, or is she/he kicking...i just say yes it isas opposed toi getting all happy and sayingoo my baby kicks`…
im scared im already depressed without knowing it.. i dnt feel down at all. just dnt feel all that happy either…
awww don't worry nadz it'll come to you naturally when you least expect it. i was kinda worried when i didn't feel anyyything during my first ultrasound. later i got to hear the baby's heart beat and once again i literally had to force a smile on my face cuz it was so uneventful for me. but then the next time i went in for an ultrasound, i wasn't expecting any response in my heart just as before but i found myself all in tears half way through the scan. reason being that the tech was trying to get the baby to move so she could get good measurements cuz it was a all curled up but the baby was being lazy n refused to move. after a while i started getting mad at it and legit was like "omg this baby is gonna be so stubborn i'm gonna have to be a strict parent, etc etc" and just even feeling anger/frustration with my baby made my heart melt n i couldn't prevent the tears of joy and feeling of love and attachment all of a sudden. don't feel pressurized about it just trust yourself and know that whatever you feel is completely normal and how Allah planned it for you :) tv shows and movies exaggerate everything and make us feel compelled to act similar when in reality each person's response is completely different. and just make sure that whatever you feel...you share it with someone whether its your husband, or mom, or a friend who can really support you and address all your concerns. goodluck you'll be in my prayers!
Nadz, ups and downs are normal in pregnancy however if you feel that your feeling a bit more down than usual then you should definately speak to your midwife about it as it can lead to post natal depression. Hormone's work in a funny way and it's not your fault so speak to someone about it and they can help you inshAllah.
OHHHH i thought i had a deja vue...so i mustve done a thread earlier.....sorry sahar..
puchi- i am not feeling down...just not up either..make sense...like i dnt feel all giddy with excitement....i just feel ok.not motherly. just fine. normal. i was worried sick before my 12 weeks scan...however after that i have been surprisingly ok...
Oh Nadz, that's perfectly normal. Some of us feel nothing till they see the baby. A cousin of mine said she didn't even feel anything for the baby untill a few weeks after the baby was born. That was a little extreme, but she says she was always so tired and sleep deprived and wasn't even sure she loved her kid. And then she'd feel guilty about not being all excited and all in love with her baby.. didn't even tell anyone she felt that way, until she all of sudden fell head over heals in love with her baby :)
Nothing to worry about, totally normal :)
And if you still feel that way after you have the baby, it might be postpartum blues, which again are also normal.... so don't worry, try to stay healthy and think happy thoughts :).
My guess is that you're a young mother-to-be. In the early 20s? Those feelings would come earlier if you were at age 25+ (I'm guessing) . I know a lot of young moms going through the same phase. But the older ones seem to be more emotional and attached. I'm not saying that the younger ones are emotionless, it just hits them later , lol. Which is completely natural and ok. :)
i just want to add that everybody is different, i think ppl who really really desparately want a baby are over the moon, others who have babies because "you've been married long enough, its about time you had one..." tend to feel the love much later on.
personally i didn't really want to have my first child, hubby was desparate, so i thought y not??!! got nothing better to do, and i have always liked kids (other ppls!!) she was about 4 months before i actually fell in love with her, before that although i loved her, it was more like an aunty love, then it hit me, and she is now 6 and i have had 2 more since then, but she is my fav, and i spoil her rotten!!!
^ i agree. i don't have children but i saw my bff interacting with her son- she had a difficult pregnancy, a difficult birth and while he was in neonatal ICU in the beginning, she had a really difficult time bonding with him. this is not to say she doesn't love her son, she absolutely does, but it really hit her when he was about 6 weeks old. babies are a lot more work than people realize until you're actually around one 24/7 (like i was) or have one yourself. no wonder parents sometimes feel overwhelmed and out of control!
and as pregnancy and the process of childbirth and then actually having a child are such powerful experiences, i'm not surprised you feel somewhat underwhelmed with the whole thing, nadz- its probably your mind's way of not letting you freak out or get too overwhelmed by the process. and like people here have said, everyone is different.
