My husband just told me off for cutting my hair. We've been married 6 years, and i've always cut my hair, he's been grumpy about it always, but this time he went berserk. It was cut when we were engaged, married, and ever since. It's not a bob, or a any extreme style.
I'm Aussie, he's from Pak. I just don't understand what the issue is. I asked him the reason, but he doesn't have one. All the women in his family get thier hair cut too.
Is this a Pakistani male thing or a phase? I just don't get it
Could you provide some more information? What is your definition of berserk? What exactly did he say or do?
Also I think your title is too far stretched. If he didnt allow you, you wouldnt be doing it again and again.
MY husband also likes long hair, but not too long, where as he has seen me with short hair too. So now I dont cut my hair short, I know short hair is so much easier to maintain .. but I do keep them longer than short as thats what he prefers on me.
As someone above said, the haircut was just the trigger, and he is probably upset about something else.. Have you been having arguments about other things?
In any case, surely there's a compromise that you guys can reach.. maybe try a new style that you both like? Talk to him with an open mind.
Also I don't agree that you should look good only for your spouse - for most women, looking good is also about their own self esteem. You shouldn't feel compelled to wear a style that you're not comfortable with.
honestly is it really that big an issue?
my husband prefers long hair......for whatever reasons that may be.....he just has a preference.
I've had all lengths of hair in my life and he knows it.
Caring for longer hair is quite a challenge since I work full-time and looking professional is important to me yet I have for the past 13.5 years kept my hair at least to the middle of my back.....mainly for him.
A couple of weeks ago I cut it to just above my collar bone and he noticed right away. He didn't complain but he also didn't compliment it. Koi baat nahin.......in a couple of months it will grow back and I will have had my way as well.
Should either one of us make a big deal out of it? No. I was careful not to be drastic and he was mindful not to upset me about it.
His idea of looking good for him, is to have the long thick desi braid. I'm a very average looking person, and having styled hair is the main thing i find confidence in.
I think i look horrendous with a thick desi plait. It totally adds to my paindu-ness
I always ask for my husband's opition regarding my clothing, hair, make-up etc. He's very open and tells me exactly what he thinks. He doesn't get grumpy, nasty, or throw fits if there's something about my looks he doesn't like. He will tell me very specifically what he doesn't like....things like that color doesn't suit you, it makes you look short, that hair color is too bright (note: I get highlights on my hair) etc. He simply tells me how he feels and leaves it upto me to decide whether or not I want to change it. And he doesn't give me any hassle IF if I choose not to change it.
I always take his opinions into account but at the end of the day, I do what give ME the most confidence in myself. (Luckily hubby and I have very similar taste when it comes to clothing/hair etc. so this isn't a major issue for us).
If you husband likes the typical long desi braid....but you do not feel confident in that type of hair, then HE needs to love and respect you enough to understand that YOU don't like the way that "typical desi" hair makes you look. As much as I love my husband, I would never sacrifice my own self-esteem just so he can experience some type of magical satisfaction when he looks at my hair.
According to leading Hanafi scholars of Syria, including Shaykh Adib Kallas, there is no harm in a woman cutting her hair, as long as:
a) it remains feminine (and thus does not resemble men);
b) it is not cut with the express intent of imitating non-Muslim fashions; and
c) it is not cut ‘excessively’.
The texts in the Hanafi school indicating impermissibility of women cutting their hair are understood—these scholars say—to be conditioned by the above considerations.
In the Shafii school, it is permitted to even cut the hair very short if the husband prefers it that way.
No its not a typical Pakistani male thing. Some are less appreciative than others but its not typical. May be he was grumpy for some other reason and just took it out on you.
