Hello I am a 17-year-old student from Germany who needs some information about Pakistan (British-Pakistanis/Pakistani-tradition …)I’m going to write my term paper about Migration in the UK (Pakistanis)- My main topic: How do second and third generation immigrants deal with their roots and traditions ?It would be great, if someone could tell me something about the Pakistani way of life. I have manyyyy questions but first I want to know if there is somebody who could help me. Pleaaaaseeee!Thanks in advance ! 
Re: Non-Pakistani
Comeeee on guys it isnt't much :D Pleaaaaase
Re: Non-Pakistani
Maro I would be pleased to help you but you are asking very broad questions here. I can give you a brief on what caused the migration from Pakistan to Britain and the after effects of that on the social systems but you need to be more specific in what you ask.
Re: Non-Pakistani
Yes, but first i just wanted to know if there is somebody who could help me..after i wanted to ask my questions the mentioned part above was only an "introduction"
Re: Non-Pakistani
*Ok so my questions are - how is the relationship between you and your parents ? (first and second gen.) Can you talk with them about every problem ? Are there many conflicts at home between the generations? What rules do you have to observe at home as a girl/boy ? Are you allowed to go to Partys/ Out with your friends ? Can you bring your Boyfriend/Girlfriend home ? Are you allowed to date ? When would you like to marry ? - Do you want to work and then marry ? Are your parents going to suggest you some men/women to marry and you are allowed to chose one ?
*
If there is anybody who could answer me this question with refering to his own life he or she can write me a PM. //British Pakistanis
THANKS IN ADVANCE
Re: Non-Pakistani
**Ok so my questions are - how is the relationship between you and your parents ? (first and second gen.) Dad - good relationship, Mum - so so.. quite difficult in the past..
Can you talk with them about every problem ? Dad - yes, mum - no..
Are there many conflicts at home between the generations? In my teenage yrs there were but things settled down a lot more in my twenties
What rules do you have to observe at home as a girl/boy? If I go out I need to say when I'm returning.. Mum is a little stricter about the way I dress**** (she's hijabi but I'm not)****.. Dad does not really care..
Are you allowed to go to Partys/ Out with your friends ? Yes.. up to a point.. depends on other things as well tho.. where, when etc.
Can you bring your Boyfriend/Girlfriend home? Yes
Are you allowed to date? Yes.. after I started uni parents were ok with it.. up to a point (obviously)
When would you like to marry? Don't know for sure..
Do you want to work and then marry? Yes
Are your parents going to suggest you some men/women to marry and you are allowed to chose one? Yes, there were suggestions but I always had the option to say 'no'
**
Re: Non-Pakistani
Thank you so muuuuuuuuch!
I hope more ppl. will answer.
@Deeba1234 - Are you the second generation ? Do you think that many Pakistani girls have the same life style today like you have ? Do you think whish that more British-Pakistani girls could deal with all the mentioned things like you do ?
Re: Non-Pakistani
OK, with the exception of a few questions, most of your questions are just general stuff that can vary from family to family in any culture. I will answer them one way and my other brother or sister might answer them differently. But here’s how I am going to respond:
How is the relationship between you and your parents?
Very good. I am a boy so I have been close to my dad since childhood. Mum was a bit strict so didn’t share much with her when I was little. But that improved since I left home and joined university. On the other hand, my sisters have always been closer to mum than I was.
*Can you talk with them about every problem? *
Almost certainly yes. I have always been successful in life whenever I have done things after discussions with people, especially my parents, friends and other elders.
Are there many conflicts at home between the generations?
Well, everybody thinks and do things differently. And that’s based on their own experiences. I have noticed that my parents are more giving than I am and that has caused disagreements amongst us. In certain situations I would watch out more for my own interests but if my parents face the same situation, they might choose to give away more to others.
What rules do you have to observe at home as a girl/boy?
Not really sure what you mean by rules here but if you mean living in a disciplined environment and being expected to fulfil our responsibilities as children then yes, that certainly was the case will all of us. Especially I am the eldest son so I was always asked to undertake more then my other siblings. That included doing things inside and outside the house to ease the burden on my parents. And that really taught me a lot cuz it gave me a chance to interact more which contributed to my social skills.
Are you allowed to go to Partys/ Out with your friends?
Getting together with friends who were known to my parents have never been a problem. In case of other acquaintances, yes a few more questions; but our parents had this trust in us that we wont mix up with someone who our parents wont approve of. Mind you, our idea of partying is nothing to do with drinking or going wild like it might be in other cultures.
Can you bring your Boyfriend/Girlfriend home?
No such thing is Islam as bf/gf. Our religion has set us certain rules. If you want to marry someone and are interested to know about him/her, you can meet with in the presence of elders.
Are you allowed to date?
Read above.
When would you like to marry?
This has changed a lot with time. The point of view of the religion vs. society don’t go together. The former insists on getting your children married when they reach the age of puberty (same as Christanity) whereas as the later has created its own definitions about when is the right time to marry. Current social norms have more to do with material stuff than anything else when it comes to marriages.
Do you want to work and then marry?
The above should answer this question.
Are your parents going to suggest you some men/women to marry and you are allowed to chose one?
I can expand on this more if answer 6 doesn’t suffice.
Re: Non-Pakistani
Thank you ! This really helps me! I hope more ppl. will answer.
As an Afghan girl I can understand your answers and I know that questions about bf and gf are very abnormal but as you can see above today many things had changed and this is what I am writing about - the different ways young (British-)Pakistanis are dealing with their roots and traditions.
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH !!
Re: Non-Pakistani
**how is the relationship between you and your parents ?
*Good and open and straight to the point.
*
Can you talk with them about every problem ?
*Yes and I mean EVERYTHING!
*
Are there many conflicts at home between the generations?
*Sometimes.... mum wants to watch cowboy films and desi dramas and i'm like noooooooo waaaaayyyyyyyyyy.... i want to watch star trek! :(
*
What rules do you have to observe at home as a girl/boy ?
*No rules as a girl or boy, as a human yes and thats be helpful with chores and good mannered and finish off homework.
*
Are you allowed to go to Partys/ Out with your friends ?
*Yes so long as I am well behaved, which I am so no worries all round.
*
Can you bring your Boyfriend/Girlfriend home ?
*Dont have one, dont intend to, dont need one. Hubby maybe in the near future.
*
Are you allowed to date ? When would you like to marry ?
*Dating isnt islamic and I am religious so not going to happen. Marry........... near future inshallah.
*
Do you want to work and then marry ?
*I already work and intend to continue after marriage as do all the women in my family who usually earn more than the men in any case lol.
*
Are your parents going to suggest you some men/women to marry and you are allowed to chose one ? **
My parents cant be bothered, they are like: 'Tell us when you want to have your shaadi (wedding) ok!?' I am like what!? I so want an arranged marriage!!! UGH!!!!! Disappointed Face! :(
Re: Non-Pakistani
Thank you ! This really helps me! I hope more ppl. will answer.
As an Afghan girl I can understand your answers and I know that questions about bf and gf are very abnormal but as you can see above today many things had changed and this is what I am writing about - the different ways young (British-)Pakistanis are dealing with their roots and traditions.
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH !!
Oh damn, I thought you were a blonde german! :(
Do you post on other forums specifically afghan? I bet I have seen maro as a nick before... ;)
Re: Non-Pakistani
Oh damn, I thought you were a blonde german! :(
Do you post on other forums specifically afghan? I bet I have seen maro as a nick before... ;)
Noo sorry i am not a blong German girl :) and no I actually don't post in other forums. I know that there 're many Maros :P Mostly the girls are called Maryam, Marjon, Marjina or the most beautiful name : Marwah ^^ Those names are soooo typical for Afghan girls, especially Maryam.
Re: Non-Pakistani
I would like to know if you feel more British than Pakistani? e.g I live in Germany but my parents are from Afghanistan. I feel more German than Afghani. This doesn't mean that I belonge to the sort of group who don't care about tradition and culture. I do feel more German but still follow many Afghani rules but not because of beeing Afghan but of being Muslim. So I comprehend them more as Muslim tradition. I can speak fuently Farsi but I think more in German. So much about me.** What about you ? How do you feel ?** Please help me with writing the term paper by answering my questions
Thanks in advance
Re: Non-Pakistani
I am not in your defined category of immigrants, so I can't really reply unless you like outliers in your observations.
As for your general observation, of course you would be more at home at the place you are born in. I do sometimes wonder how foreign born kids like that merah kid in france massacre could feel at home with al-qaeda in the middle east? I guess religious extremism trumps all.
Re: Non-Pakistani
I would suggest watching 2 movies, East is East and West is West. It details pretty much everything.
Re: Non-Pakistani
This is a public forum not a helpline. We Pakistani have really narrow-minded personalities. We hate NON-Pakistanis so your probably one of them. :p… Keep your questions to yourself. 