this is the counter attack…
Words, phrases, same thing…
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“Sure. I’ll throw the trash out right now.” - translates to - “If I remember to throw out the trash during the commercial break, I will do so. If I forget, then you’ll have to remind me again. Shhh, runners on first and third, no outs.” (Go Yankees)
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“Is something wrong?” - translates to - “What did i do wrong now? And how long is it going to take for you to figure out how to blame me for whatever it is you’re upset about? I don’t have all night.”
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“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” - translates to - “I will sit and listen, but I can’t promise you that I’ll pay attention. You have 3 minutes before the game comes back from commercial break… annndddddd GO.”
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“No, that doesn’t make your butt look big” - translates to - “When you know ‘no’ is the only answer, why do you ask?”
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“No, she’s not prettier than you” - translates to - “Same as #4. How stupid do you think i am? It’s a rhetorical question, you don’t have to answer it. Although, I have a feeling you’ll let me know anyway.”
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“I’m sorry.” - translates to - “I don’t know what I’m apologizing for, but it seems to be the only thing that’ll let me watch the rest of this darn game.”
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“You’re right, I’m wrong.” - translates to - “You are angry. I am hungry. You don’t cook when you’re angry. Soooo…”
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“Thank you” - translates to - “While you’re up cooking, can you make that pie I really like?”.
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“You are beautiful” - translates to - “Now that the game is over, and we’re done eating… how about we… you know… (wink wink).”
ur back 
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i am still lazy today