Would you opt to have your nikkah done if you are stuck with a very long engagement? Im currently debating this right now.. my in laws want the shaadi in June, 2011. and my parents have a fear of a long engagement, so they suggested doing an Engagement this year and nikkah right after. Im considering it, but not sure if it might take away from the actual day of the shaadi. I think theres something special about having the nikkah and shaadi around the same time.
We had our Nikah last year in October and now my wedding is this July iA. Having the Nikah was special on its own but it definitely doesn't take away from the wedding day. I am looking forward the wedding just as much as I ever have been and can't wait. If I had to go through a long engagement, it would of been to hard for us that is why we moved up the wedding to this year, we couldn't wait another year. Both events are special. We didn't have a formal engagement anyway, just baat paki, so the Nikah was just as special like an engagement. and the wedding will be just as special because its the day we can finally start our lives together. :)
We had our Nikah last year in October and now my wedding is this July iA. Having the Nikah was special on its own but it definitely doesn't take away from the wedding day. I am looking forward the wedding just as much as I ever have been and can't wait. If I had to go through a long engagement, it would of been to hard for us that is why we moved up the wedding to this year, we couldn't wait another year. Both events are special. We didn't have a formal engagement anyway, just baat paki, so the Nikah was just as special like an engagement. and the wedding will be just as special because its the day we can finally start our lives together. :)
for what reason did you two have your nikkah before the shaadi? And how did having the nikkah change your relationship with your husband? Like were you two able to spend alot of time together since technically u are married?
i had my nikah 2 years before the actual wedding...and trust me it was the best part of my life..well when we were just engaged we couldnt go out together that much because my releatives like cha cha, cha chi , poopi etc would say nikah howa nahi aur ghomna phirna shoro ho gaya.after nikah no one said anything
after nikah we would get more time to spend together
I personally would want my nikkah on my baraat simple because you look/are the bride so it makes sense. Plus, there's no confusion as to when your wedding anni. will be. My parents got married in Nov. 1990 so they did film weddings and I still can't get how gorgeous my mom looked as a dhulan in her red lehnga signing her nikkah papers. It's been my dream to re-live that one day. :)
for what reason did you two have your nikkah before the shaadi? And how did having the nikkah change your relationship with your husband? Like were you two able to spend alot of time together since technically u are married?
The Nikah is just the norm in our family, its usually done and at the time we thought our wedding was going to only happen in 2 years anyway so we had our Nikah as our official engagement but then right after the Nikah, hubby and I decided we didn't want to wait that long and wanted to get married this summer. I wouldn't say it changed our relationship because we are still apart. But of course your appreciation grows for them everyday. He lives in the States and I live in Canada so its hard for us to see each other often. I actually saw him alot more after our baath Paki than I have after our Nikah. I havn't been able to see him in person since the Nikah because of our tight budget for the wedding, work, school etc.. so we are very much looking forward to being with each other in July because it would of been 8 months by then! If I had to wait any longer I'd go crazy! lol
On the other hand, if we had decided from the very beginning that we had wanted to get married right away then we probably wouldn't of done a Nikah and just a formal engagement instead I suppose. The decision was ours to have our Nikah done.
What do you think you are deciding?
Oh and also..my mom was very weary of us being together after the Nikah for obvious reasons lol. I just had to assure her a lot, and we were still able to see each other the same after the Nikah...she just worried 1000x more lol. Either way, havn't been able to see the hubs since the Nikah so shes relaxed about the subject now..
I personally would want my nikkah on my baraat simple because you look/are the bride so it makes sense. Plus, there's no confusion as to when your wedding anni. will be. My parents got married in Nov. 1990 so they did film weddings and I still can't get how gorgeous my mom looked as a dhulan in her red lehnga signing her nikkah papers. It's been my dream to re-live that one day. :)
thats so sweet! This is one reason why im considering just doing my nikkah on the day of my shaadi.. theres something so special about it :)
personally i feel that the nikah should happen on the day of the baraat itself afterall the nikah is the most important aspect, everything else is secondary. i think it would be more special to have it on the actual day itself and have ur rukhsati etc. i dont agree with the idea of treating the nikah as an 'engagement' period.
I agree with having the Nikah on the day of the wedding. It's that much special. I will be getting married almost 2 years after I got engaged. There was a chance for us to do Nikah but I didn't want to.
I know what you mean by your mom worrying about having a long engagement. People said the samething to us but the way I thought about it is that if it's not meant to work out then I rather have an engagement break off rather than a Nikah. Allah ka sukar hai everything has turned out well for us.
Good luck with your decision. Follow your heart and don't worry about what people say because people always say things :)
I dont know why or how desis came up with this concept of havig a Nikah done, and than having a wedding months later.
You are required to live together after Nikah has husband and wife and consumate the marriage which is actually sunat. After doing so, you should hold your Walima/Wedding Reception ASAP to announce your marriage marriage.
Please wait, and do everything the proper and Islamic way.
^Some people need their nikkah done because of circumstantial situations..
Its true, legal paperwork required us to show a marriage license in order for me to move to the states, and since it would take atleast 6 months we needed to do it early. we weren't going to just legalize our marriage on paper without a proper Nikah, so it also played a factor in our decision to have our Nikah. Otherwise I wouldnt of been able to attend my own Valima or move in with hubby till all of that cleared lol
We are currently considering this. I don’t mind being engaged as we will hardly see each other in the interim of our engagement and wedding and I can wait a year.
He has other ideas:vivo:
I think a nikkah is the main focus of the wedding and not all our close family will be able to attend it so I think we should wait. Let’s see what happens.
I wouldn't do it. Once you have the nikkah, you are married. This whole ruksati business unnecessarily complicates a very straightforward relationship.
I think engagement is a better option than nikah…unless and until u want it to be done for sum paper(visa) work or due to sum other circumstances…one very important reason for it is that once u are nikahofied…u are married…n then “Godforbid” if u ppl dont get along well or if any family clashe occur…it makes the relationship complicated and u run out of options…but if u are engaged…it makes things lot more easier…
waise bhi an year is not a long duration…my own engagement had been 4 n a half year long n Alhamdulilah all went well n im happily married now…
goodluck with watever decision u make
